The eldest son gave birth to in Ukraine, the youngest in Russia

In order not to miss the main materials of the "cold", subscribe to our Instagram and telegram .

There was nowhere to go

I myself from the Dnipropetrovsk region, moved to Russia in 2006 after the death of my first husband: he died of bilateral pneumonia of the lungs of 28 years. We launched the disease, because we did not understand what it was, and when we ended up in the hospital, the doctors could no longer save him. I was left alone with a small child in my arms and without work.

I was very bad, and I needed the help of loved ones. And in the Moscow region I had a cousin and some other relatives - I went to them. I did not shine the fact that the Ukrainian, because there was an attitude towards foreigners in Russia, and I think that it remains, specific. Without a Russian passport, it was difficult for me to find a job, and when I managed to find it, I was paid less than others. In one company they told me that they would officially make me out only when I marry a Russian and get a passport.

As they looked into the water, because soon I married a man with whom we worked together in a company engaged in the installation of plastic windows. I did not want a relationship, but he persistently invited me to a cafe, but I was interested in him. He insisted on marriage, they say, he was already many years old and it would be time. Even then, he said that the fact that I have a son was “not good”, but he immediately assured me that it was nothing that he would become a good dad.

At first, in our relationship, everything turned out normally, but a year or two after the birth of our common son, he began to show aggression. He began to repeat more often that he was the main in this family, and invited me to leave if something did not suit me. I could take me to my mother and not allow me to visit my relatives until I finish with work in the beds. He did not treat his eldest son, considered it acceptable to punish his belt for the slightest misconduct and, in a fit of quarrel, could call him a “chokhol”.

He did not belong to his native son. My husband and I often argued about the issues of raising the elder, and because of this I wanted to leave him for a long time. But I was scared: in Russia I had no one except relatives who did not support my decision. I would have nowhere to go.

The last straw was the incident when he, evil, kicked his son out into the street in winter without outerwear. I called a taxi to my son to spend the night with friends. I then tried to protect my son, and he, too, forcibly pushed me into the porch and refused to let me go back to his youngest son.

You will crawl to me again

In 2019, I graduated from the Moscow State Regional University with a red diploma. I liked to study and work. In Mytishchi, I got a teacher in a correctional group for children with mental characteristics and received a good salary. I had time for myself and my sons.

Two years ago, I still left my husband. Then I left Mytishch to Kashira. In Kashira, working as a teacher in two shifts, I received a maximum of 35 thousand rubles with all allowances and payments. I rented an apartment for 15 thousand, and I also needed to pay debts on loans that, during our cohabitation, my husband recorded me. He had a bad credit history and open IP, so he issued loans for the repair of an apartment and for the purchase of a car in my name. I remember that he could not even use all banking cards when we lived together.

After our move, my husband was not going to help me: on the contrary, he hoped that my financial situation would make me return to him. He said so: "You will crawl to me yet."

I worked in kindergarten in Kashira for a year and moved to Moscow. Since I arrived in the summer, I could not find a work as an educator, and I got a job in one of the state institutions. I submitted a divorce about then - in August 2021: before that it was inconvenient to make a divorce at a distance. Officially, we were divorced only on February 25, 2022. I did not think to apply for alimony after the divorce, I just asked my husband to send me money. He sent either three thousand a month, or bought his son a shirt, or could not send anything at all.

Pussy of your Ukraine

When the war began, I was in shock: the events of 2014 passed me - no matter how terrible it sounded, with a small child I was not up to it. I did not discuss these events with my Ukrainian friends, because I did not feel competent in these topics. I was offended that Crimea was in Ukraine and that Ukraine was taken away from Ukraine, but my husband was happy about it. He said that this was not annexation: everything happened by the will of the inhabitants. Then I believed him.

After the start of the war, I decided to leave Russia. It seemed to me unacceptable to stay when my acquaintances in Ukraine are in danger. I received a decision on a divorce from the court on February 25, but that it enters into force and a divorce certificate was issued to me, I had to wait a month.

All my colleagues from the place where I worked repeated the delusional theses from the TV. When I tried to object to them, to say that there were no Nazis in Ukraine, some replied that I did not understand anything, others simply said that I was “Bandera from Ukraine”. They also hinted that if I continue to object to them, I would be left without work. The ex -husband is the same as colleagues: he constantly sends excerpts from the video of Solovyov and Mikhalkov and tries to convince me that they zombie me that I had porridge in my head. On February 24, he sent me a photograph of the consequences of the explosion with the text "Pussy of Your Ukraine."

In the state institution, I worked two days later and worked as a courier in my weekend. I tried to accumulate money for moving from Russia. I really wanted to leave until September so that my youngest son had the opportunity to go to school in a new place. I could not pay loans, and when delays have already gone, I went to bankruptcy. I was paid a subsistence minimum that I used to pay for renting an apartment, and I dressed and fed children for my salary.

It was not possible to accumulate money catastrophically. When they announced the mobilization, I realized that the eldest son could fall under her: he is young, healthy and now he is not studying anywhere. We just sold all the things that we had, including children's clothing and musical equipment of the eldest son, and left for Astrakhan. It was October 7th.

We are covered with jackets on top of the blankets

In Astrakhan, we got on a train to Atyrau and then got to Astana: we needed to get to the Embassy of Ukraine. Due to the influx of running from mobilization, housing prices in the city took off. We cost us 12 thousand tenge ( about 1.5 thousand rubles. - approx. “Cold” ) instead of six mentioned in the declaration for a day.

Now we live in a hostel. We have a table in the room, four stools and four beds, but there are only three of them mattresses. We had to buy pillows and blankets ourselves, and at that time we had already ended with money. We turned our clothes like pillows, covered with jackets and so much slept. The youngest son cried very much that night.

I asked for help in telegram chat, where those who escaped from mobilization corresponded with the Kazakhs who want to help. A local resident asked what we miss, and sent three blankets, a pillow, forks and plates for a taxi that she herself paid. Shower and toilet in this hostel are in the room, and the plate is located on the street. When the wind blows, the gas rotten - you need to control it while you cook pasta or potatoes. They promised that the water would be hot, but it is barely warm. There is no heating either, and at night we are freezing - we are covered with jackets on top of the rugs.

My relatives, who remained in the Moscow region, support Putin’s policy. Every time I started talking about the war, they offered me not to touch this topic so as not to quarrel. A cousin asked me to live like living: to continue to go to work, not to go to anti -war rallies. Upon learning of my departure, she was terribly offended by me. She believes that I should not leave Russia, but it was only worth sending the eldest son to the village, to hell. The ex -husband knows that we left, but does not know that we will not return. He let me know that I did not do wrong.

The youngest son cannot count on anything

In the name of the eldest son, two summons at the address of the ex -husband already came: one to the military enlistment office, the other to the Investigative Committee for evasion of the first. I know this because the ex -husband sent me photos of these summons. He also wrote that my son is a traitor and will soon sit down. As in the head of this person it fits that my son, the Ukrainian, must go to kill Ukrainians, I do not know.

At the Ukrainian embassy in Kazakhstan, we were told that my Ukrainian passport is considered valid and the eldest son will easily make a white passport ( certificate of return to Ukraine. - Note “Cold” ). To do this, it is enough for us to make a request to confirm the individual to Ukraine. But the youngest cannot count on anything. If he had been given a white passport, this would allow us to get to Ukraine through third countries.

After the war, I really want to return to my homeland in yellow waters. In the meantime, I don't know what to do. I don’t know what application I can find in Kazakhstan without knowledge of the language. I have no one here. But I have a classmate in Lithuania: she and her sons left Ukraine after the outbreak of war. She has already received a residence permit there and can help me with the search for work. But I do not know how to get to her: I have neither money for the road, nor understanding, whether we will be allowed into Lithuania at all.

I am afraid that if I return to Russia, my eldest son will be taken to war. What to expect from my ex -husband, I do not know. He may prohibit the export of the youngest son from the country ( according to the rules , if one of the parents accompanies the child, the second consent is not necessary, but in the case of the ban on the second parent there will no longer be possible to leave. - Approx. “Cold” ), and may generally succeed in custody of him. The ex -husband, unlike me, has both housing and stable earnings.