“The main thing is that he will not go to kill and die.” Women saving loved ones from mobilization talked about their experiences

On October 17, Moscow Mayor Sergei Sobyanin said that the plan for partial mobilization in the capital has been implemented. At the same time, lawyers explained that not a single head of the region in Russia has the authority to declare or complete mobilization. The men, which were subject to mobilization, urgently left at the end of September, left their beloved women in Russia who had to face emotional and bureaucratic problems. About how women survived mobilization and forced parting with their loved ones - in the material of " such affairs . "

Photo: Jenna Norman / Unsplash.com

Ekaterina , 25 years old, Krasnoturinsk, Sverdlovsk region

Now the husband is in Turkey, and it is not known when he will return. At first he wanted to fly to Germany and ask for refuge there, but later decided to take risks and stay in Turkey.

My husband and I have been together for three years, our child is a year and eight months. The husband in the past has an experience of hostilities, but on September 21, he did not even think that mobilization would really begin.

As soon as this happened, we realized that the husband would be one of the first to be called. Of course, he does not want to go to the “military special operation” , it was not even discussed. None of our friends and acquaintances want to participate in this. One friend was deployed (not called.-Approx. TD) because of a chronic illness, someone is hiding at home, but no one wants to go to fight in this conflict.

From the very beginning I had a porridge in my head - I could not think about anything. She said to her husband: "Think for yourself, I'm not able to." We talked a little with him about leaving together, but in the end we did not decide anything. At that moment I was so bad that I did not know what I wanted.

As a result, at one point, the husband simply wrote that he bought a ticket. This decision was made by him and his parents. I was in shock. In horror. We recently bought a second apartment, make repairs, we need to pay a communal apartment, a loan, and I am left alone with a small child. I don’t know how I will cope with this. I will live as it turns out.

I am a nurse by profession, now I have left the decree and work full day in a local hospital, I finish at 19:00. Leaving, my husband asked his mother to help me with the child, but I do not count on her too much. I have no other relatives here.

Now, when I look at the situation more or less calmly, I would like him to stay in Russia-he would sit on sick leave, hid. Then I thought about his life, and now I think about mine.

Anastasia , 38 years old, Moscow

On September 21, I was very scared that they would close the borders and announce general mobilization. My boyfriend is 37 years old, he is the kindest person. According to him, it is better to sit in prison than getting to a “military special operation,” he clearly said that under any circumstances he would not pick up weapons. And I read the news and I know that in prison, the security forces put dumbbells in the ass, and I do not want such a fate for a loved one.

The first night I cried and did not sleep at all - I had a tantrum. He himself was confused, did not understand what to do. He had never traveled before. The only time he was abroad is when three years ago we went to Yerevan together.

On the day of mobilization announcements, I asked the guy not to go to work at all and write a dismissal application for one day. He has a small salary, he works as a seller. At that time, tickets for the aircraft in the coming days already cost 200-300 thousand rubles. But a friend wrote to me and offered to buy a ticket to my boyfriend - so for one and a half thousand euros my partner went to Istanbul. A friend said about the money: "You will return it as you can, but not return, no need."

The young man did not have housing in Istanbul, and I asked my familiar shelter for a while. She agreed, but since she lives in constrained conditions, very soon she became interested in when my boyfriend would leave. I did not want to bother it and bought Istanbul - Bishkek.

Photo: Pavel Neznanov / Unsplash.com

In Bishkek, my boyfriend temporarily lived with a friend in the passage room, slept on the rug, because nowhere else. I was looking for hostels and apartments, but prices jumped terribly.

Now I again raised all my friends on my ears and found for the guy a place for another acquaintances - this time in Yerevan. I bought him a ticket to Armenia for November, but in the end he changed his mind and decided to stay in Bishkek. It’s good that these tickets could be returned.

All this money is my airbag in case I stay without work. But now I spent almost everything on tickets, the guy left me 20 thousand rubles.

Now I am only working. If I lose this place, we both are left without a livelihood

I plan to send some money to him and help my parents a little: my father has a disability, and I pay a monthly mortgage account of 40 thousand rubles. The other day I left this apartment to start leasing it. I myself will live with friends. When the guy was in Russia, he paid for his mother’s communal apartment, but now these expenses also lie on me. His mother watches the TV and does not support the departure of her son, says that I "divorced panic."

This time, for the first time I was sincerely glad that the guy and I have no children. I don’t think about myself now, but in fact I am very scared.

Elena , 27 years old, Moscow - Kramatorsk

The guy and I have been together for two years. He is from Russia, and I moved to Moscow in 2015 from Kramatorsk, Ukraine. We were always both for peace, the guy was born in Kazakhstan, but his father is half Ukrainian. We had thoughts to leave back in February, but then he had health problems and he needed to go to the hospital - we stayed. Then we did not believe the last to the last that there would be mobilization. When everything happened, we thought for a long time what to do: here we have a whole life, I recently opened a small business. It was difficult to decide.

Now I have two citizenships - Ukraine and Russia. Russian received Russian recently, very “on time”. All the time since the beginning of the "military special operation" I felt disgusting. My parents live in Kramatorsk, but in Moscow my second house, and I was always as difficult for me to think about the “military special operation” , and it’s hard because I could not calmly go to them.

A few days after September 21, the guy did not eat, did not sleep, did not work. I haven't seen him like that yet. He had a glass look - I talk to him, but I see that all his thoughts about something else. He was afraid to just go outside and go to the store. He saw the police and immediately twitched. I was more collected, tried to distract him, said: “We’ll sit out at home, if that, they don’t find you - we do not live by registration.”

The first days we watched tickets - they were either not, or they were very expensive. There was a rumor that the borders would close the borders on September 28, and we thought that everyone was already. But on September 28 in the morning I saw that there were tickets for 23 thousand per one. After half an hour, we had two tickets and we went to draw up a power of attorney to the notary. On the same day, we flew to Barnaul. I went with a guy, just to support him: I was afraid for him and would feel bad for him if he was on the border alone, without me. Going to the border is such a path where one is very difficult.

Several times he told me: "If you were not, I would not have done it alone"

On the border, he stood pale and simply nodded his head-he was afraid to say something superfluous, he was so scared. And then, when we have already passed control, I asked me: "What, they missed me?" He simply could not believe in it and realize.

We also overcame the hiking from the border together: under the snowstorm, with bags, we laughed and cried. Together searched for housing. Almost all the money that we had.

But money is nothing. The main thing is that he will not go to kill and die

On September 28, my birthday was, and on September 26, two days before leaving, he made me an offer. I returned to Russia, I have a job here. So far, I can’t imagine how it will be further, but, most likely, I will also leave, because it is scary to live here.