"While these wars are going on, maybe God is sleeping?" The family buried the soldier - and is now trying to get him out of captivity

44-year-old Novgorod, Alexei Starikov, really wanted to go to the war with Ukraine, but he was not allowed to conclude a contract with the Ministry of Defense of the Russian Federation. He nevertheless achieved his in August 2022-and after three weeks he disappeared. Relatives were given a sealed coffin with the body; But the mother, wife and son of Alexei Starikov do not believe that they were buried. They are convinced that their relatives are in Ukrainian captivity, and in the grave, behind which they care, someone else is lying-perhaps the deceased Ukrainian soldier. Journalist Vladimir Sevrinovsky went to Veliky Novgorod to find out from the Starikov family, why they still hope to find Alexei alive.

The Yermolinsky cemetery is located ten kilometers from Veliky Novgorod. Two women - one in the age, the other younger - go to the group of fresh graves with the same crosses, dark with gold edging. On this site, the Novgorodians who died in the Russian-Ukrainian war are buried (such, according to the Mediazons and the BBC, collected on the basis of open sources by January 15, 43 people).

Women stop at the cross with the inscription "Old people Alexei Grigoryevich" and the dates of life 06/13/1976–04.09.2022. Cloves in crispy snow. “Good afternoon, warrior,” the one that is older turns to the grave. “We have come to honor the memory of you. Your relatives are looking for you the same way we are our own Lesha.”

Unlike the graves of other soldiers, there is no photograph on the cross of Alexei Starikov. Relatives refused to hang her. They are convinced that another person is buried here - and Alexei himself is alive in Ukrainian captivity.

"Cooler than in the GRU"

-As a child, he dreamed of saving someone. From school immediately went to the river, suddenly someone will sink. But no one drowned. Then he went to Belarus to visit, rested on the beach and accidentally saved young children,-recalls 67-year-old Galina Bogdanova, mother of Alexei Starikova. She widowed early and says that at first she was afraid that her son, because of the “excessive female guardianship” would not receive “correct” male education-after all, as she is sure, "every man is born a warrior."

But Alexei did not disappoint the mother. He served two years in border worshipers and also advised his sons to go to the military. He often talked about love for his homeland, and on the corner of the house he built in the suburbs of Novgorod he strengthened two flags - a Russian tricolor and a copy of the Red Banner, installed over the Reichstag taken. In the kitchen, his portrait hangs - in a vest, with large bald patches and a graying beard. Fingers are folded as a sign of Victoria, like Winston Churchill in famous photos .

The old people worked at the maintenance station in a red -handed person. Since the beginning of a full -scale war, Alexei, according to loved ones, has become "very serious." But the decision to conclude a contract and go to fight in Ukraine found the family by surprise. “This is the first and only time when he left without me,” says Esmir, Starikov’s wife. “We have not parted all 16 years of marriage.” Esmira tried to dissuade him from concluding a contract - after all, she was left alone with the children. But Alexei replied: "I am a man and I can’t sit at home."

He said nothing to his mother. Galina learned about her son's plans only on August 24, when Alexei was already in Ukraine. Since then, she has been trying to understand why her son did this, and does not find the answer: “I’m not sleeping at night. I look at how Ukrainian fathers rejoice. Like a child who is just learning to speak, bursts:“ Tattoos, tattoo! ”He runs, hugs. Just like our children of his fathers. When Lesha will return, I will leave his belt well and ask why you left for war, not having left for the war, not at the war. Mom? "

Starikov’s wife, Esmira, from Kyrgyzstan, lived in the Crimea for a long time, she has a lot of firecrackers, with whom she still communicates. Dmitry Boyko, the son of Esmira from his first marriage, is 21 years old. The second son, Alexei, 14, they still have two daughters - one five years old, and the youngest nine months. The eldest daughter of Klava prefers not to talk about his father. Dmitry Boyko, the eldest son of Esmira, works as a resuscitator. He calls Alexei since childhood, and almost never quarreled with him - until he gathered for war.

- I am a medical worker, I am flying people. For me, violence and war, as they say, Fu, - Dmitry frowns. - And he always wanted to be a military man. I also thought to send me to the army. I flatly refused, saying that I prefer medicine. Then he offered to become a military doctor, but I said that I did not want to deal with the murder of people. He is a big patriot, loves Russia. He said: "If the war begins, I’ll go to fight." And also: "It doesn’t matter how you feel about your state, it is important how you feel about your country."

According to Dmitry, it was impossible to convince Starikov: "As his father said, it will be. To argue with a man is not a female business. Even the eldest son cannot say anything." But Alexei could not conclude an army contract: Daltonism prevented. Then he turned to the Russian University of Special Forces in Gudermes - a training base through which the leadership of Chechnya sends volunteers to war. “They have a good advertising campaign,” Dmitry explains. Blogger Kommenos said that he was even cooler than in the GRU. ”

Dmitry discouraged his adoptive father to the last. He offered to move to St. Petersburg together, where he would earn a car sex -poll more than in Novgorod, and fed his family.

“I asked:“ Why are you going? I just don’t understand you, ”he recalls. - Father said: "And you will not understand me, and no one will understand." What the stepfather had in mind, Dmitry did not clarify. But he says that for him, as a doctor, it is unthinkable to go somewhere to fight and kill. However, his pacifism does not grow into an open protest: "If the state wants it so, I will not argue. I am a common gear, it’s easy to replace me."

On August 1, Alexei left for Chechnya - to study and conclude a contract. The wife, who is on maternity leave for the care of the younger daughter, said: "Do not worry, I will return in three months."

Resentment

According to relatives, Alexei was going to "help the children in the green zone ( the territory controlled by Russia where there are no combat operations. - SR ), to stand on the checkpoint, to rake off."

- When he called Akhmat, he was told that they would not send to the front line. Not immediately for war, ”Esmir recalls. - But still sent. He could not disobey the order.

On August 12, Alexei called his relatives already from Lisichansk and said that he had just signed a contract for three months in Rostov-on-Don, he was attached to the military unit 16544 from the village of Kalinovskaya of the Chechen Republic. They supplied the form and weapons, but the body armor and other protection had to be sought directly on the battlefield. He advised his wife to turn off the TV and complained that the reality was not the same as on the screen: "They throw it wherever, intelligence is lame. The leadership is not observing the executors. Maybe if not such an attitude, everything would be different." When relatives proposed terminating the contract, Alexei said that it was unrealistic.

- For me this is a setup. Shoot 11 days on targets and on the front line, ”Dmitry is indignant. - We must at least be able to apply a tourniquet on the wound. In our college, this has been taught this for three years.

The eldest son even thought of personally pulling Alexei from the front line, but he refused:

- Father said that no one beats them, does not force them. If it is necessary, it means it is necessary. But in his voice the offense sounded: they promised one thing, but it turned out another.

According to Dmitry, the stepfather believed that to terminate the contract not "like a man":

- There are evil languages. He did not want the aura of cowardice, desertion around the family. There was a paddock on someone else's opinion. It is unacceptable for him to say something bad about him. Only good.

The second time, Alexei called relatives on August 29. He said that he returned with the advanced one and was “resting” in the city of Popasnaya, complained that the kidneys were sick and there were not enough drugs. This was his last call. On September 4, the colleague of Alexei told Esmire in Watsap that they were half -reduced near Soledar. The machine -gun queue sewed Starikova legs, he began to crawl and died under mortar fire.

"He was - and no"

Starikov’s wife and mother began to call and write to the Ministry of Defense, the military prosecutor’s office, the Red Cross, the Commissioner for Human Rights Tatyana Moskalkova, Putin and Kadyrov personally. But the death of Alexei was not officially confirmed. The military unit did not take the phone. Esmira was afraid to go to Chechnya, but she was given contact with Ismail Dautov, assistant to the head of the representative office of the head of Chechnya in the Rostov Region and Rostov-on-Don, who coordinated the identification of the dead Russian soldiers. She sent him samples of DNA of her children.

On October 11, looking at Ukrainian telegram channels, Esmir saw a photo of prisoners from the DPR and LPR in the city of Liman. The eyes of men were tied, but in one she identified her husband. Dmitry first did not believe: "There are a lot of bald in the war, and that the gray -haired, there are all gray -haired." But on October 25, he himself found a photo in the Dokhla Rusnya telegram channel, where the prisoner in the same bandage was watered with water from a plastic bottle. The man was not in the foreground, but it was visible much better. There was no doubt left: this is Alexey Starikov.

The administrator of the telegram channel gave Esmire the contact of the APU fighter, who captured this man. The Ukrainian military answered politely, asked not to worry: they treat the prisoners well, everything will be in order with her husband. According to Starikova, he said that the Russian troops, upon retreat, left the wounded in the city of Liman. 12 people tried to get out on their own and were captured when the Ukrainian army occupied the city and surroundings on October 1. The prisoner, in which Espermy identified her husband, called himself Alexei and said that he was very shell -shocked. He is wounded in his feet and in his hand. In which insulator he was delivered, the soldier did not know.

Women again began to turn to all instances, but to no avail. “Wherever I call it, everywhere they argued that the photos are a fake,” the mother of Alexei complains. “They said: prove that it is, then there will be a conversation.”

On October 28, Esmire reported that the body of Alexei was identified. The DNA test showed the close relationship of one of the dead soldiers with her son, but not with daughters. But she may not worry - she was promised that the forensic expert will "make it to match." "I ask why do something if I know that all his children is?" - Esmir is indignant, retelling this conversation. The family wanted to give an analysis of Starikov’s nail. Usually his wife cut his nails, but once Alexei stained his hands with paint, took up the scissors himself, and his relatives accidentally found the tears. Judicial experts did not accept this sample without explanation.

In Rostov-on-Don, where the center for reception, registration and processing of the dead military personnel (CCPOP) is located, Dmitry went to identification-so as not to injure his mother. In addition, as a doctor, he could identify the body more accurately. Dmitry heard about the mistakes of experts and the military who returned home and found out that his relatives had already buried him.

In the morgue of the Rostov forensic examination, he was persuaded for more than an hour to pick up the body immediately, without examination: they say, it is in terrible condition, eaten in worms. Seeing the corpse, Dmitry realized that this was not his father.

“Father has few teeth,” he explains. - I personally took him to the dentist and saw how they pulled out the upper right five. The corpse had this tooth. Like the lower seven, which the father was removed back in 2012. There was a scar on his right lower leg. This scars did not turn out. And the body had no wounds in the legs.

As soon as Dmitry said that the body is alien, and demanded additional examinations, they began to crush the family.

- The next day, Ismail called me and began to say: why are you mocking the corpse? - recalls Esmir. - We must take it. Do you need money? I said that I don’t need money, please return my husband.

But the employees of military departments, according to her, continued to rest on a monetary topic:

- They all talk about money. "You will receive a payment, you have children, you need to somehow live, many people get nothing, because there is missing."

Esmire’s military salary was not transferred to her husband, she also did not see the contract either. Even Alexey himself, before disappearance, said that he did not have a paper contract, only the token and received by Watsap from the City Hall of the formidable extract from the order of enrollment. Esmir herself sat with her children and could not earn. There was no choice.

“Mothers said: if you do not take the body, do not wait for any payments or salaries,” Dmitry explains. - She remained with three minor children in her arms. She believed that the money would be paid, and therefore she took the corpse.

The body was not cremated - so that in the future the soldier could recognize his family. Esmira tried to get biomaterial for an independent examination, but Novgorod forensic experts refused to open the sealed coffin that arrived from Rostov. After the “cargo 200” was taken to Novgorod, the family came from the military prosecutor's office that Alexey was not listed in the lists of the dead and supposedly still serves under the Soledar.

The funeral took place on November 17. They did not let me say goodbye to the body. Dmitry was surprised to see that two people "raised the zinc coffin like a feather."

“This is unrealistic,” he argues. - I work in intensive care, a person of medium physique, who weighs 60–70 kg, we are barely pulling the three of us.

According to Esmira, after the funeral, the attitude of Ismail Dautov and his colleagues immediately changed: "Previously, they called, took care of me. They said that payments would come, I will begin a new life ... As soon as they buried - all the silence. Neither payments, nor salaries."

Ismail Dautov claims that he did not provide pressure on Esmyr, and the DNA examination confirmed three times that the body belongs to her husband, Alexei Starikov. According to him, the representative office of Chechnya is only the helping party and intermediary, and for payments, the Ministry of Defense and the military should be contacted. The response to the request to the Rostov Military Hospital No. 1602, in the laboratory of which the DNA samples of Alexei Starikov were analyzed, did not come by the time of publication of this article.

They did not issue documents about the death of her husband Esmire - as well as the official results of DNA analysis. The only monetary compensation was obtained from the budget of the Novgorod region - although Alexei entered into a contract, the payment was issued as a family of a mobilized one. The department of Moskalkova Starikova, according to his wife, refused to search among the prisoners - after all, the family confirmed the receipt of the body of the deceased in writing. “He doesn’t go in any lists at all,” Esmir complains. “He just evaporated. Even in the lists of military personnel is no longer listed. He disappeared. There was no.”

A long eclipse of the mind

Desperate to find help in Russia, the family of Alexei for hours studied Ukrainian telegram channels. Only then did they, according to Esmira, understood the scale of the war: "I used to know what telegrams are. But they showed not all horror on TV. Now I understand that this is not even Afghanistan and not Chechnya."

“The infrastructure of Ukraine is practically killed,” Dmitry shakes his head. - People will freeze, die of hunger. For what?

He does not want to go to the front to mobilize: "If they leave it under the hospital, I will not refuse to treat. But for the advanced one." The middle son of Esmira Alexei Starikov Jr., unlike Dmitry, planned a military career, but now changed his mind. "When this happened to his dad, he said that he would not go to the military. He does not want to be sought as well later," Esmir explains.

She wrote to Ukrainian journalists. Vladimir Zolkin, known for numerous interviews with Russian prisoners, did not answer, and his partner Dmitry said that he could not check the information, since the Internet after the next shelling of Ukraine works with interruptions.

“I am ready to communicate with everyone,” Exmira explains. - I am not against Russia. But I want to get my husband. If necessary, I’ll go after a minefield.

According to her, Ukrainians answer "without aggression, anger, sarcasm."

“There is no separation in our family that we are well done, and they are fascists,” she explains. - People are all good, just circumstances have developed. All this is decided above us, in the leadership of countries. And ordinary people die.

On the advice of the Ukrainian military in early December, she traveled to the DPR - since Alexei most likely contains captured fighters from the annexed "people's republics" and negotiations on their exchange with Ukraine are conducted by local officials. I had to collect money for the trip on social networks. She rented housing in Mariupol. Esmira walked around the city, which, according to her, was "defeated by 90%." I took pictures of broken tanks, an abandoned ship, ruins of a seaport.

In Donetsk, she was accepted in the Red Cross, took her husband's data. A week later they answered that they could not help, since Alexei is a resident of another subject of the Russian Federation. They sent the information Moskalkova - to the department of which the relatives of Starikov already unsuccessfully turned. Ukrainians have not helped yet. They only informed Esmire in January that there was no Alexei for the closest exchange of Alexei, and if he was listed as a DPR militia, they would not exchange him. "Еще ж на Украину не ездили. Можно попытаться", – надеется Эсмира. Когда-то крепкая, бравшая призы на соревнованиях по пауэрлифтингу, она сильно похудела, но решимости не растеряла.

– Я преклоняю голову перед Эсмирой, – восхищается Галина. После пропажи сына она сблизилась с невесткой, старается ее поддерживать. Последствия войны женщину ужасают. – Это какое-то длительное затмение. Не солнечное, а затмение разума. Но кто повлиял на наше мировоззрение, на этот разум? Don't know. Многие думали, что спецоперация – это как быстро удалить опухоль и выбросить в лоточек. А вышло совсем по-другому. Такая была процветающая страна Украина. Столько друзей там осталось. Теперь все разрушено. Такие огромные в Мариуполе были виноградники. Эти гроздья просто усохли, их никто не собирал. Я спрашиваю: "Господи, где ты есть?"

Далекие от политики

Великий Новгород празднует Новый год. На площади Победы светится елка. Женщина с аккордеоном играет "Катюшу". Возле входа в новгородский кремль собирают подарки для мобилизованных и их семей. Экскурсоводша объясняет школьникам смысл монумента "Тысячелетие России" в центре кремля: наверху ангел с крестом символизирует церковь, коленопреклоненная женщина рядом – это Россия.

Возле Вечного огня – свежие венки и толпа подростков. Школьники подначивают друг друга прыгнуть через пламя, но оно слишком высокое, и они просто кидают монетки. С музыкальным звоном рубли падают на решетку. "Родик, не жадничай! – кричит кто-то. – Кидай купюры! Чтобы не было войны!"

На Ермолинском кладбище две женщины стоят перед могилой неизвестного. Они обращаются к нему просто – воин, поскольку "все солдаты – воины своей страны". Эсмира и Галина не исключают, что под крестом лежит украинец. Они говорят, что не видят разницы между солдатами враждующих стран и винят лишь "тех, кто выше" – правда, не называя конкретных имен. Женщины просят прощения у погибшего за то, что они, а не близкие, его похоронили, и успокаивают себя: "Зато его косточки не обдуваются ветром".

Из снега торчат гвоздики. На кресте, над именем Алексея, золотом выбита надпись "Вечная память".

– У приятельницы сын демобилизовался, – рассказывает Галина. – Он любил играть в танчики, на соревнования выезжал. Считал, наверное, что у него семь жизней, как в стрелялках. Вернулся раненым. Она говорит, он постоянно что-то думает. Не озлобился, никакого негатива не выражает. Но среди ночи встает и уходит в лес. Она спрашивает, не страшно ли ему. Отвечает: "Не страшно, я с того света вернулся".

Галина замирает и задумчиво спрашивает себя:

- How did it happen? Почему я потеряла связь с родным сыном?

Когда Алексей ушел воевать, она сняла с шеи крест:

– Пока идут эти войны, может, Бог спит? Не знаю я, не знаю. Я далека от политики. Просто не хочу, чтобы погибали люди. Вообще нигде.

Ее голос дрожит.

– Там ведь тоже мамы, как и мы здесь. Я молюсь за сына, он в окопе сидит, и другая мать тоже молится. А если они оба погибнут? Кто-то сказал, что воины попадают в рай. И что тогда, в раю начнется война?