"Dogs have been conducted with a explanatory conversation"

“A explanatory conversation was held with the dogs” - this phrase appeared in public, when the correspondence of the general director of the Azov Shipyard JSC Mikhail Bartenik with the local administration fell into the network. If you believe the written, then at the enterprise that is engaged in the repair of ships, they not only teach dogs not to attack people, but also develop physical culture with might and main. And also consider the possibility of organizing racing on dog teams and much more, no less surrealistic

When the general director of the Azov Shipyard JSC Mikhail Barternik on the Internet began to be called the main “troll” of the bureaucratic system, he recalled Munchausen in response: “A smart face is not a sign of mind, gentlemen. All nonsense on Earth is made precisely with this expression on the face. ”

“Such cases” gathered that very legendary correspondence of the enterprise with the local administration and asked Mikhail Bartenik several questions.

- Mikhail Igorevich, what prompted you to go beyond the official correspondence?

- The system of our government today is such that a huge number of officials have bred. The official gives birth to an official, he is another official. And each of them needs to justify their purpose. How? We need difficulties that they would first create, and then help to overcome.

Director of the Azov Shipyard Mikhail Barniktoto: Svetlana Lomakina for TD

Therefore, orders, acts and laws are breeding at an incredible speed: we need such a report, and this is the third. As a result, the enterprise sits a person who should unsubscribe to five structures on the same issue.

We somehow calculated the number of controlling and overseeing bodies, and we got about 30 organizations. If they send us one request per day, then we will have to write reports for a month.

At the same time, we all hand over everything to Rosstat, and I do not understand what is the difficulty of taking our data from there? But no - they load you. If you do not answer on time, they will send a fine, they will give a hat, and if you ignore it, you can get the deadline.

When the spelling of the answers began to occupy a significant part of his life, I realized that we should somehow fight this. And then a request came about HIV prevention. I had to write how we are fighting at the enterprise with this.

Azov Shipyard: Svetlana Lomakina for TD

* * *

Here is the abbreviated text of the first letter.

On your request <...> we inform that the Azov Shipyard JSC has developed a plan for the prevention of HIV infection in the labor collective, which includes theoretical and practical classes with the participation of a specially created and approved working group on the prevention of HIV infection at the enterprise’s workplaces. <...>

At seminars-trainings aimed at increasing the level of awareness of employees, employees are trained by the basic aspects of the use of appropriate means of protection against HIV infection. <...>

The enterprise has an information stand designed, posters on this topic are placed in places convenient for access to employees: on passing, in the medical center, in the units of the enterprise, in the toilet .

The company has developed and implemented a program for encouraging persons promoting heterosexual relations among the employees of the enterprise, in the form of letters and incentive gifts.

Monitoring the effectiveness of preventive measures (anonymous survey) in internal cells is carried out.

We are happy to report that the Azov Shipyard JSC has not identified cases of HIV infection in the labor collective. According to the results of the year, we plan to hold an internal conference with the participation of health workers and representatives of the administration of Azov. We invite you to participate!

* * *

- What was the reaction?

- Surprisingly, no. But soon they called me on a different issue - they wanted to come to us, a reward with a diploma for helping with the repair of the ship. Then I asked a question about the letter - and it turned out that no one read it. And the next day a letter came about dogs: we were asked to take measures because the dogs go beyond the territory of the enterprise and behave aggressively. The answer was the very letter that scattered on the Internet.

Responsible letters of the director of the shipyard by officialsmapoto: Svetlana Lomakina for TD

* * *

Here is its text.

In response to your letter <...> we report that we carried out work with the Azov Shipyard, which were inhabiting in the territory of the OA "Azovskaya Shipyard: all individuals were taken into account and sterilized, as well as a veterinary examination for the absence of dangerous diseases, each individual was issued relevant documents (dog passport).

An explanatory conversation was held with the dogs about the inadmissibility of an attack on people passing along the borders of the enterprise, as well as beyond the territory, in the 10-meter area of ​​responsibility of the Azov Shipyard JSC. The heads of the pack were indicated to the strengthening of responsibility for the violation of the prevention of third -party animals, including cats and dogs, to the territory of the enterprise, through dogs officially living in the territory of the Azov Shipyard JSC, as well as measures aimed at increasing the culture of circulation with the inhabitants of the city of Azov.

* * *

- Your text is literally?

- The idea was mine, and my secretariat makes me in office style - talented people work at the factory.

- And you sent it to the Internet?

- Not me. Someone from the administration. Apparently, they laughed, began to send each other - and the letter went on the Internet. In 15 minutes I became known throughout the country - television, Internet, newspapers, magazines. I hid as soon as I could, sometimes gave up. At the same time, he hoped that the administration realized that we had to be left alone. And then a sport request comes.

Azov Shipyard: Svetlana Lomakina for TD

On 23 sheets, I had to fill out a report on how we develop sports at the enterprise. I found a young lady who sent it to us - explained that, most likely, we were in a general newsletter for educational institutions. We do not even have a gym - and the topic of sports for the repair of ships has nothing to do. He asked to exclude us from the general newsletter. The young lady said that this was impossible: since the administration put us into the list of enterprises that should answer this, then we must. Well, since you insist, we will answer you!

* * *

The third answer sounded like this.

On your request <...> we inform that the activities of the Azov Shipyard JSC are not related to sports presented in this form of the report, however, the company has champions in the game in the Kozla, Pisces (Domino), as well as in the “short” and “long” (backgammon). The card game "Fool" is especially popular in the team. Unfortunately, these folk games are not taken into account in the form of a statistical report No. 1-FC.

Currently, we are working on the organization of racing running dog teams at short distances in the winter. The development of riding sports at the Azov Shipyard JSC in the future became possible thanks to the permanent residence in the enterprise about 10 dogs. Unfortunately, the Ice Running program cannot be implemented because of the migration of some dogs on neighboring enterprises, as well as due to the lack of snow and ice coating of the Don River.

The crane operator of the Azov Shipyard Svetlana Nikolaevna Sinelnik plays with dogs with Belyash, Panton and unknown. Shipyards could not be photographed by the other dogs - in connection with the spring and personal aggravating circumstances, they are subject to migration): Svetlana Lomakina for TD

* * *

- After this letter, there is silence too?

-No, this letter finally stopped a stream of stupidity, which fell on us for years. The Azov shipyard was excluded from the remarkable list of defendants on all questions.

- There is an opinion: in order to joke in our country so much, you need a great internal force ...

- Here we need a mind. If you are joking not about a specific person, but about the absurd situation, you highlight it. Great power is hidden in humor, you just need to be able to apply it.