Personal transition

The Islamic psychologist decided to tell women what rights the Koran guarantees them. Caucasian men infuriated it

Hava Shaidullina is a psychologist with Sharia education. She, a children's teacher in mosques, decided to do psychology about eight years ago. After receiving the second, secular, education, Hava started a blog, to which 50 thousand people were signed, traveled to the cities of Russia with seminars on women's rights in Islam. Everything was fine until one of these seminars she planned in Dagestan. This seminar was supposed to be held on July 9. Immediately after the announcement of the impending event, the girl faced threats to kill from Dagestan religious figures and Internet activists. In their opinion, lectures that Muslims have rights can corrupt Dagestan women.

"Why should such lost souls be allowed into Dagestan?" "Only a boycott, so that they no longer burst into us!" “We warn our sisters against charlatan Hava Shaidullina, who, as a leading seminar planned for the depravity of the female population of our society, should come to our republic!” So the most harmless messages from Dagestan bloggers that appeared after it became known about the upcoming Hava seminar. The declared theme of the seminar is “Religious manipulations and incorrect interpretation of the postulates of religion”. The correspondent of Novaya Gazeta Europe talked with Hava Shaidullina about what a person who promotes women's rights in the Muslim environment is faced with, and how Islam in Russia differs from region to region.

1.

Hava Shaidullina was born in Tatarstan, in an orthodox Muslim environment. Mom is an Arab teacher, father is imam. Hijab Hawa has been wearing from the age of seven, the first alphabet that she learned is Arabic.

- I had a religious education in general since childhood, even then I planned to associate myself with the teaching of Islam. In this direction I studied for six years. She studied in the center of the Hafiz Koran [ Hafiz - a person who knows the Qur'an by heart . - approx. Ed. ] on a linguist, taught Arabic. She graduated from the Kazan Higher Majamia Madrasah, also studied in the center of the Arabic language to strengthen her Arabic, ”says Hava, answering those who believe that she knows nothing about her religion.

The girl married at 18, before the matchmaking of her future husband, she saw only once. Explaining how this happened, Hava emphasizes that she grew up in a very religious environment, where it was believed that at the age of 16 she had to be a married woman, and she completely sat in her 18.

- It seemed to me that the main female mission, the meaning of its existence is to get married, give birth, be a good wife and engage in raising children. At 18, now I think marriage is not a conscious step, rather the influence of the environment of education, ”the girl recalls.

The husband was four years older than Hawa.

A desire to learn a psychologist at the girl appeared after the birth of a second child. According to her, it was a crisis time, because relations with her eldest son went disabled, she had irritation to him, and she could not understand what the reason was. The girl entered a family psychologist and, as she herself says, realized that relations with children were inextricably linked with the relationship of the spouses.

After ten years of marriage, being the mother of five children, Hava realized that she did not see her husband’s further life, and decided to divorce. Here, according to her, the first difficulties began: many Muslims believe that only a man can initiate a divorce.

- It is believed that a woman itself cannot divorce. Either the divorce gives a husband or Sharia judge.

My husband categorically refused a divorce, because of this I had to resort to the Islamic court. The court lasted for nine months. But, unfortunately, the judge did not stand on my side.

Meanwhile, according to Sharia, a woman has every right to get a divorce, whatever the reason. If she does not want to continue marriage, then, according to the Qur'an, neither her husband nor a religious judge can refuse her in this right. However, the judge can give spouses to spouses to reconcile up to six months, during which both sides must comply with the agreed rules.

The judge, who led the Khava case, appointed the spouses a trial period of nine months, that is, longer than the most possible, according to Sharia. At this time, spouses should live separately, children remain with a woman, and a man must fulfill the conditions put forward by his wife. Hava asked her husband to be minimal alimony - two thousand rubles for each child, as well as take the children every day to school. In addition, during the hearing, the Sharia judge insisted that the girlfriend’s husband started his second wife. So, in his opinion, one could force Hava to be jealous, "so that she herself realized how hard she would be without her husband, and return to him."

So Hawa began its struggle with illiterate Sharia judges. After the husband refused to comply with the woman’s demands on the payment of alimony, and the judge to take her side, the girl publicly spoke about “how everything was supposed to be in Islam”.

- Just two weeks before the completion of this period at nine months, I published a post in Telegram about what happened during the trial. At the same time, she did not even mention the name of this judge, but he was still very scared and gave a decision to my favor, asking him not to touch him anymore. That is, I received my legitimate divorce only under the influence of fear of public condemnation, ”the girl says.

Hava herself notes that, for example, she, for example, in the North Caucasus, and she could not get such a heavy divorce, because there, “just wanted to divorce a person who did not even use it to her,” no one would have seriously reacted.

2.

Hava began to lead her blog in 2016, when she learned to be a psychologist. The main topics are raising children, relations between spouses, religion. Very quickly, the blog has turned into confessional for Muslim women. According to the psychologist, dozens of messages came to her, in which her readers complained about oppression by spouses or fathers who were covered in the fact that in "Islam is so possible."

- I, trying to help women, began to write posts in which I told: you know, in fact, how they do with you, is strange. In Islam, a woman has rights. That's what they say to you is nothing more than a religious manipulation. And these posts found a great response, women sent letters that now they know how they should act, how to defend their borders, ”says Hava.

In Saudi Arabia, Khava claims, most women know their rights. For example, men cannot marry there for a long time, because potential brides put forward demands - religion allows them, and men cannot observe them. In Europe, according to her, the situation is similar, many imams in the mosques arrange sermons in which they explain the rights of women.

- But if you look at families in the countries of Central Asia, the Caucasus or Tatarstan, then we have a tradition, mentality and accumulated injuries for years. And one could somehow resist this, saying that this is not the norm. But these Muslims find some religious confirmations, the postulates invented by them. They believe that their family way, their upbringing and mentality are supported by religion, and if a woman does not agree against all this, then she is against God himself. Here is just the whole snag: they are not just saying: I am so educated or I think so - they say: it is in Islam.

According to Khava, the so -called “matriarchy”, that is, the firm social positions of women, contributes to the breakdown of these attitudes in Tatarstan. And in the North Caucasus women are powerless:

- I wrote [ the Dagestan blogger Diber Beard with 1.3 million subscribers. - approx. Ed. ], who threatened that he would bring a hundred men to my event so that they stop me. Moreover, he, he says, will not come, because he is in Mecca, - laughs Hava. “He writes to me that they do not need me to convince Dagestan women that they are not a slave of their husbands.” That is, in their understanding, a woman is such a rag. Why can a man lead a rampant lifestyle, beat his wife, forbid her something, but she must endure it? They are struggling with psychologists who talk about the rights of women, because they are afraid that women will begin to do something on their own. This is a feature of the Caucasus, there is a woman - zero, she should sit at home, west and clean the whole house. At the same time, a man can do anything, and dust bends will be blown away from him.

One of the main dangers of Hawa seminars, according to those who threatened her, is that after them women will go to get divorced. And divorce is the worst that can happen to women (according to the Caucasian Orthodox). For example, in Chechnya and Ingushetia there is even a separate word for divorced women - fat, the second meaning of which is “a woman who leads a depraved lifestyle.” And the most common instruction of the parents of his daughter before marriage: no matter what he does, tolerate, you have nowhere to return.

- In Islam, the opposite is clearly spelled out. There is not a single legislation, not a single constitution that would protect the rights of a woman as much as Islam does.

According to religion, no one has the right to marry her forcibly, to beat her. She has the right to ensure that her husband ensures her physical and emotional well -being. The duty of a man to treat her in the best way. He must show respect for her, take care of her needs. After a divorce from a man, children up to seven years old remain with their mother, and then they themselves can choose who they would like to live with. In the Caucasus, it is often believed that a woman does not have the right to leave home, get an education, work. But all this follows only from their traditions and mentality, - explains Hava.

Such statements by a psychologist excite the consciousness of Caucasian men. After her publications, she regularly encounters threats and insults. If this was a post about the fact that a woman is not obliged to serve her husband’s family, be it a post about personal borders - the result is always the same.

- I wrote that we have obligations to my husbands in Islam, but nevertheless there is a limit to what we must obey, but what we are not obliged. And this post caused a huge resonance! - recalls the girl. - They wrote about me in Tatarstan newspapers, at large religious conferences they discussed that I threaten Muslim marriages. I received threats calls, promised to plant in jail, release exposure about me ...

The last similar episode happened at the end of June, when Hava announced a seminar in Makhachkala. Loggers and religious figures decided that the psychologist perverts religion, and began to threaten it, urging their subscribers to disrupt the event. However, the girl did not cancel the seminar, she plans to either hold it online or in another region.

- This is not the first time I come across this. They poisoned me even when I was pregnant, then it was a great stress, it seemed that it was the end of the world. But I coped. And this time ... Well, yes, it’s unpleasant, it’s sad that I can no longer go to Dagestan, that it’s unsafe for me there. But this at least does not knock out the rut.