"Why, fucking?"

The Russian woman with the children went to Kyiv to save her husband from captivity. But he was not ready for their meeting

In the summer of 2023, Evgeny Kovtkov, a civilian husband of an accountant from Krasnoyarsk Irina Krynina, who is fighting in Ukraine, stopped in touch. Soon Krynina found him in one of the video with prisoners of war. At first, she tried to ensure that her husband would be included in the lists for exchange, and then contacted the Ukrainians and, without warning anyone, gathered two daughters and left for Kyiv to pull it out. Now in her homeland a criminal case can wait for her, and her husband who met her in Ukraine wants to return to Russia. Irina told the cold her story.

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By the age of 36, I was no longer hoping to find true love - it was disappointed in men because they behaved like Mamenkina Sons. And then she met Zhenya.

At that moment, I was married, but my husband worked on shifts in the Far North, and when I occasionally came to us with my daughters in Krasnoyarsk, we lived like our neighbors. We did not need money, my husband paid good alimony, but I did not want to live in this formal marriage, and for the sake of interest I registered the dating site.

It was literally a flash at first sight. I felt that I had met a real man who could take me to his hedgehog mittens. I am a rebel by nature, and Zhenya’s character is even worse than mine.

Five months later, Zhenya said that he wanted a family, son. I filed for divorce. But this is not a very fast procedure: first you submit an application, wait a month, then a month and a half the decision comes into force. When I received a divorce, Zhenya was already mobilized to war in Ukraine.

Did someone attack Russia?

The political views of Zhenya and Zhenya diverged, we even argued from time to time. Of course, he also did not particularly support what was happening in the country, but against his background I am more radical. Mom raised me, and she was always oppositionly. From my age, we always went to the polls from my age, not missed a single vote. I told my wife all the time that we live in Russia in essence as slaves: that all a mortgage, we work from morning to evening, come home, we need to do life, help children do homework. And in this mode we do not have time for self -development.

When the agenda came to him, we completely quarreled. I asked him: "Where were you going to go, did someone attack Russia?" She told him that he would go to someone else's country to kill people there, who also have families, also have mothers.

He did not want to fight, I know it for sure, because in the summer, before the announcement of mobilization , he was called to the military registration and enlistment office and offered to sign a contract for the service. But then he refused. On the agenda, which was brought in September, his last name was written incorrectly. I told him that he could not walk at all. But he replied that he had an oath when he served in the army. Eugene said that his mother was sent by a 17-year-old girl by a doctor to the Afghan war. His father also saved people - he worked as a firefighters all his life. I think it influenced him. Like, how it is he bite. I cried, persuaded, insisted, but he calmly said: "I am not a rat, they called - I’ll go."

He was handed the agenda on September 29, and on the 30th he was already taken away from the military registration and enlistment office to the training in Omsk. I flew there to get it: I brought clothes, soap-red. Already there, just two weeks after mobilization, it was noticeable how much it changed. I escorted him with a healthy strong man, and in the training I met an emaciated lost person.

Zhenya is a very educated person. His beloved writer is Viktor Astafyev, also from Krasnoyarsk. Zhenya has a complete collection of his books at home. When he was mobilized, he wrote to me: “If you want to understand what is happening here, read Astafyev“ cursed and killed ”, about the life of Russian conscripts during the Second World War. He said that after 70 years everything happens in the same way.

God saved

Until June 2023, Zhenya was in the rear and did not participate in hostilities. We were in touch with him almost every day. He is an electrician in his specialty: he made some signal amplifier, and we often corresponded and called up. He could even watch films calmly. I constantly argued with him, said he signed a report for a medical examination, since he had health problems, asked: “What are you fighting for?” He was offended. But we were still in touch, I was waiting for him. He hoped that it would end soon, and he could just return home, thought that this was four months, maximum for six months.

In early June, Zhenya said that they were transferred to Bakhmut and stopped in touch. I immediately worried, called his sister and to the military unit. I was told that his unit went to Klescheevka and should soon return.

Klescheevka is a small village in the Donetsk region six kilometers from Bakhmut, where fierce battles were fought in the summer of 2023. In September, the Armed Forces of Ukraine announced the liberation of Klescheevka.

I read about Klescheevka on the Internet, about the fact that it was from there that Wagner's PMC left, and immediately realized that there was kapets. I ran to church, ordered various prayers. And she began to read telegram channels. On July 12, I found a video that shows that Zhenya was captured. I think he did not die, because God saved him, because I prayed every day.

On the same day, Zhenya’s mother and I went to the military unit, and I showed them the video. They recorded the information and sent it to the regional military registration and enlistment office of Krasnoyarsk. From there they replied that the video was not enough to recognize a person as prisoner of war . Like, the video can be faked, we need a report from the commander who is in Ukraine and evidence of eyewitnesses: under what circumstances a person was captured. For several weeks, I called every day in one department, then to another - and all to no avail. I even offered Zhenya to my mother to go together to Ussuriysk, where part of it was placed. I am sure that it is one thing when you are talking on the phone, and another, if we arrived and personally demanded to recognize him as prisoners of war. But the mother said: "Where I go, I have a job, they will figure it out themselves."

Then I could not stand it and posted in one of the telegram channels an appeal to the colleagues of Zhenya: attached his photo and asked someone to testify about how he and his colleagues be captured.

His mother, when I found out, called and began to yell at the phone: “Who are you? What are you doing? I am a mother, I gave birth to him, you have to ask me for permission. ” And literally the next day after my appeal, August 9, Zhenya was recognized as prisoners of war. I was delighted, I thought that finally they would be able to exchange him soon for Ukrainian prisoners, and he would return home. But nothing happened.

Over the past seven months, Russia and Ukraine have committed only nine exchange of prisoners of war, although during the previous months there were almost 40 of them since the beginning of a full -scale invasion. The last exchange, according to open data, took place at the end of the summer of 2023. The Russian side does not report the total number of prisoners of war. According to the Ukrainian project “I want to live”, which is engaged in prisoners of war Russians, thousands of captured soldiers can wait for exchange for 16-18 months.

I turned to the Ministry of Defense, to the military prosecutor’s office, to the Red Cross, to the Commissioner for Human Rights in Krasnoyarsk and Moscow, to the military police, to several State Duma deputies, to the Defenders of the Fatherland Foundation. She also wrote to the president. I asked when there would be an exchange, when my man is returned to me. But they told me "this is secret information, we are taking effective measures."

Not waiting for help, I created a YouTube channel and published a video in which I told about Zhenya and that it is not included in the lists for the exchange, but that we are relatives of prisoners-we don’t know who to contact, no one explains anything: by what principle people are brought to the lists for the exchange, when the next will be. Thousand prisoners, and change 45 to 45-this is some kind of window dressing. After my video, similar videos from other relatives of the mobilized began to come to me: they also said that they had lost touch with their husbands or sons and turned to power for help. I published all this on my channel.

After that, Zhenya's mother stopped communicating with me. I think she’s scared that such attention can somehow harm her wife and, possibly, herself. But I am sure that only publicity can now work.

When Zhenya was captured, I began to communicate a lot with other relatives, wives and mothers of the mobilized and realized how deeply our Russian authorities to shit on their soldiers: those who died and who are not even taken from the battlefield, to those who were wounded, to those who are captured. And relatives who are trying to find out at least something about their relatives, call, write letters, record videos-they, as if smell and prevent the authorities from working. Including me. When this chain lined up in my head, I realized that I no longer want to live in this state, where everyone does not care. And then, like snow on my head, I flew the opportunity to move to Ukraine.

I immediately decided that I would go

The last exchange of prisoners was in early August, after which only the bodies of the dead military were changed. I could not just sit and wait, every day I thought that I had to fight and seek the liberation of Zhenya. I turned to military lawyers and volunteers who are engaged in prisoners of war. I found the Ukrainian project “I want to live” and learned about the program called “I will return my husband’s wife”. I contacted the project, and I was informed that I could come to Ukraine and take Zhenya, noting that so far no one has yet come under such a program. I immediately decided that I would go.

At first I wanted to come alone, take Zhenya and return to Russia. But military lawyers explained to me that then we will not be able to live in security, a criminal case can be instituted on me. Then I decided that I would go to Ukraine one way with my daughter.

“I want to live” secured me with a coordinator who advised me and helped to build a route, and also compensated for the cost of tickets. It was just a few days for the fees. I did not say about my escape plan to any person in Russia, even my daughters knew nothing. I bought a ticket to Turkey for a week, the girls thought that we would go to the sea, scored swimwear and circles. I didn’t even take my daughter’s documents from school: we decided that this could attract extra attention. In Turkey, we were met by the Ukrainian ambassador, we made visas to Ukraine in two days, and through Moldova we reached Kyiv. He took the whole way for five days.

At first we were placed in a hotel, and then they provided a rented apartment. On the first night, when my daughters and I were in Kyiv, there was a shelling of the city. But I was so worried while we were leaving Russia, and fell asleep so tightly that I did not hear anything. In the morning, the youngest daughter, she was seven years old, said that she had heard a very loud explosion. He says she was scared, covered with a blanket and lay so until she fell asleep again. I thought that she had dreamed, and then I read the news and found out that Ukrainian air defense shot down a Russian missile one and a half kilometers from our hotel. In Kyiv, it is impossible to feel safe because there is a war. Sirens are constantly working, checkpoints are installed in the city, there are many military men on the streets, military equipment is constantly being taken somewhere. But for me now to be in Kyiv is more natural than being in Krasnoyarsk.

I remembered well what a sharp contrast was felt on the streets. In Krasnoyarsk, people are engaged in their business, as if nothing was happening at all. In Kyiv, as soon as I went out into the street, I immediately heard how passers-by in Russian are discussing the war: somewhere arrivals, somewhere relatives suffered, somewhere mobilized. In Ukraine, it is immediately felt that the country has a war, and in Russia there was a feeling that there was not only war, but even the so -called special operation. I think the Russians will understand that something is wrong, only if a rocket arrives in their hometown. And then they will think that it is Ukraine to blame - the peaceful population is bombing. And that Russia has been killing people for a year and a half, for some reason they do not notice.

A completely different Zhenya

I went to Ukraine for the sake of Zhenya to be released from captivity. The project “I want to live” had a condition: our first meeting will be held under cameras. They said they want to shoot our emotions. Zhenya did not know that I had come to Kyiv. For him it was a surprise. Before that, I gave a great interview on the channel of Vladimir Zolkin ( Ukrainian video bloggers Vladimir Zolkin and Dmitry Karpenko became known to the publication of an interview with Russian prisoners. - approx. "Cold" ).

Before our meeting, Zhenya was interviewed. I had to go out to him immediately after, but I did not hear his answers-at that moment I was so nervous that I had to run right before the interview with the pharmacy for something sedative. Blit two tablets, and I was released.

From an interview with Dmitry Karpenko with Evgeny Kovtkov:

Dmitry Karpenko: How do you feel about this war?
Evgeny Kovtkov: Negatively.

DK: Why?
EK: Well, because 2023, what war?

DK: Are you aware that the war has been going on since 2014?
E.K.: So, briefly, he does not know much. I never climbed into these affairs, I did not listen to anything at all. He lived his life.

DK: What do you know about Ukraine?
E.K.: That in 1991 she separated from the Soviet Union when he broke up.

D.K.: What population?
E.K.: I don't know.

DK: The population of your country?
E.K.: Also do not know.

DK: Do you really know the population of the Russian Federation? Well, plus or minus.
E.K.: No, I don't know. Well, probably a few billions.

DK: several billion?
E.K.: Well, probably.

D.K.: And how much?
E.K.: Without a concept.

Prisoners of war are in a vulnerable and dependent situation before the representatives of the country that they previously fought against, so you cannot be confident in the sincerity of their answers in a similar situation.

When we saw ourselves, I had a completely different Zhenya in front of me. He changed a lot, lost weight, aged, looked frightened. But he did not be captured in captivity, but even in war. We called up on the video, I already saw him. When he is very nervous, he cannot eat. At the meeting under the cameras, Zhenya was mostly silent, dropping his head down, he said almost nothing. The host of the program Dmitry all the time tried to talk to him so that he would show some emotions, so that he would at least somehow express his position, share his feelings and thoughts. But Zhenya sat staring in front of him, all tense. I was sitting nearby and felt that he was shaking.

From an interview with Irina and Eugene Dmitry Karpenko:

Dmitry Karpenko: She will not go back. Do you want to come back?
Evgeny Kovtkov: Yes.

D.K: How will it be?
E.K.: I don't know.

DK: Do you understand that after what she did, she cannot be returned?
E.K.: I don’t understand anything at all.

Irina Krynina: So far, do not ask him such questions. He needs to think and comprehend everything. He is now in a state of affect. There is shaking him! I was so shaking in the night before leaving. Well, now I have calmed down a little, and then I was shaking in the same way. I could not fall asleep at all.

DK: Zhenya, what's with your hand? You break your fingers.
E.K.: I am nervous.

D.K.: Break his fingers, then repair it to the military. What is happening in your head? Tell me, please. This is really interesting, because she is the first to come to the whole war like you.
E.K.: I can not say anything about this. In shock simple.

DK: Are you glad or not happy? No, he is not happy. He is not happy, I see myself. Are you not happy?
E.K.: I don't know.

I think that Zhenya is very angry with me because I came to Ukraine. When we only met, he in a whisper asked: "Why, fucking?" And shook his head. In his understanding, I had to sit in Krasnoyarsk and wait. And I came and put him before the choice: Ukraine or Russia, I or Mom.

Zhenya and I cannot communicate yet. We also do not allow us to call up and correspond. But soon the second meeting will be. We were promised a new shoot, when Zhenya will think about everything, come to his senses and will be able to make a choice and explain it to the camera. I'm really looking forward to and worry.

I thought he could even say that he did not know me. But he closed, was silent. I think that at the next meeting he will also behave. He does not like to create problems for other people and now, probably, thinks about the parents who remained in Russia. What, maybe they can somehow harm them if he says something wrong.

Someone writes in the comments, they say, if he had a strong character, he would immediately say that he would stay with me in Ukraine. I would like to say to such people: and you will go through the war, go through the death of your comrades, pass captivity. Let's see what you will be.

Now I see that Zhenya is morally killed. If he chooses to stay with me in Ukraine, then we will try to restore his mental health, we will turn to a psychologist. I do not think that he someday will be what he was before the war. None of us will already be the same as before - the war on everyone leaves its mark.

But I think that he will choose his mother. One comment has settled in my head: someone wrote that a person has one mother, and there are many women in life. One way or another, in any case I will help him to free himself. Thanks to me, in any case, he will get out of captivity.

Regardless of what he will decide, I will now stay in Ukraine, at least until the moment the war ends.

I will help others

After my interview came out and published our meeting with Zhenya , almost all close ones turned away from me. Someone wrote and accused me of betrayal, someone just silently blocked in messengers. Надеюсь, что рано или поздно они поймут, почему я совершила такой поступок.

В комментариях под роликами мне пишут, что я поехала в Украину, чтобы пропиариться. Но я ведь не могла сразу знать, когда начала с Женей встречаться, что его мобилизуют, а потом возьмут в плен. И почему-то про то, что я летала к нему в Омск с передачами, про то, что ждала его почти год, — про это не пишут. I am a very emotional person. Сначала читала все комментарии, очень расстраивалась, плакала, не могла спать ночами. Пришлось даже к психологу обратиться. Теперь я стараюсь комментарии не читать. Но в то же время есть и поддержка. Например, некоторые люди из Красноярска пишут, что они гордятся, что мы с ними из одного города. Говорят, что я все правильно сделала.

Дочки скучают по друзьям в России. Одна из подружек старшей дочери написала, что ее родители запретили им общаться из-за нашего переезда в Украину. Дочка, конечно, очень расстроена. У меня осталась только одна близкая подруга, которая, хоть и не во всем со мной согласна, но меня все равно поддерживает.

Я все еще не адаптировалась в Киеве. Меня начали узнавать на улицах. Мужчины спрашивают, не актриса ли я, а женщины поддерживают. Они, наверное, лучше могут понять, почему я приехала. Я боюсь, что кто-то может напасть на меня с кулаками. Такого еще не было, но ведь может случиться. Не знаю, как себя вести в такой ситуации.

Я бы хотела в будущем вернуться в Россию. Я очень люблю свою родину, но сейчас мне там небезопасно. Думаю, что меня в лучшем случае посадят в тюрьму, а в худшем убьют. Сотрудники проекта «Хочу жить» предложили мне сотрудничество: они будут мне платить зарплату, а я буду помогать россиянкам, которые ищут своих мужей и детей. Еще мы договорились, что я буду развивать свой ютуб-канал , рассказывать о российских военнопленных, показывать истории воссоединения типа моей, если они будут.

Мне сказали, что после видео с моим участием в проект «Хочу жить» пришло много обращений от россиянок с аналогичной просьбой приехать за своими мужчинами.

Я буду рассказывать на своем ютуб-канале правду. Может быть, тогда больше людей поймут это и, например, когда пойдут в гости к соседке, не будут говорить, что все хорошо, а скажут, как все на самом деле. Что мужа или сына не возвращают из плена, что всем все равно. А соседка подумает и своего мужа или сына не отпустит на войну. Может быть, когда все больше людей начнет понимать, что происходит в нашей стране, что-то начнет меняться.