I see that they beat the child. What to do?

Memo “cold”: how to do, where to call and what to say if you witnessed violence in relation to children

When violence against children occurs, it often turns out that acquaintances and neighbors knew about it, but did not try to intervene. The reasons can be very different. Sometimes it seems that this is not your business: “Let their parents deal with”, “They constantly behave like that, probably, in their family is so customary,” but it happens that people simply do not know how to act in such a situation. "Cold" spoke with the lawyer Julia Kuit and a psychologist, a curator of the child-child direction Ksenia Shashunova from ANO "will be believed to you" and tells in detail how to help the child to whom violence is applied.

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If you see that an adult shows aggression for a child

- Stop and watch for a while. Firstly, this will help you assess the situation and understand whether violence is really happening: young children are very emotional, and for example, a lost toy can become a reason for a scream and tears. Secondly, the presence of the observer often changes the situation and this alone can reduce the aggression of an adult in relation to the child.

- Contact the adult. Observing the scene of aggression, it is difficult to immediately choose the words, but remember that it is best to say in common phrases like: “What happened?”, “I see that you are beating a child.” You can get a response aggression, but, as a rule, it manifests itself only in words. If you see that the child is dragged somewhere, you can contact him directly and ask if he knows an adult. You may think that it will look stupid, but it is better to prevent a dangerous situation than not pay attention to it.

- If you are convinced that the adult is cruel to the child, hits, humiliates him, you can remove what is happening on the phone in order to transmit information to law enforcement agencies or guardianship authorities. This will not be a violation of the rights of private life, since you suspect that a crime is committed. At the same time, it is impossible to distribute videos in social networks, since this will become a violation of the personal rights of the family. Video shooting can also affect the aggressor and stop it.

- attract the attention of other people. Do not be afraid to create an awkward situation. Remember: what you do is right. The more people react to cruelty, the more the aggressor understands that his behavior is unacceptable. The reaction of other adults is also important for the child, because if no one pays attention to the fact that he is bad, for him it means that what is happening to him is normal and it makes no sense to ask for help.

- If violence continues , you need to contact the police. Call the number 112 or 102. Tell me what is happening, be sure to say that, in your opinion, the life of the child is under threat - then the police will be obliged to respond. You can contact anonymously, but in this case the police may ignore the appeal and simply do not come to the call, you will also not be able to get information about the measures taken. Therefore, it is better to name your data. Ask to register your appeal and name its registration number so that in the future you can find out what actions were taken.

- Try to fix what is happening on a mobile phone before the police arrived, and also ask for contacts from potential witnesses if other eyewitnesses were next to you at the time of violence. Even if the adult took away the child before the police arrived, tell the police about everything that you saw, transmit the video, inform the aggressor machine number if you managed to record it, and witness data. Perhaps the police will be able to identify the aggressor by photo or video.

-If the police refuses to come or does not respond for a long time, call the hotline of the Ministry of Internal Affairs 8 800 222-74-47 and report on inaction.

- Another option is the appeal to the Investigative Committee on the “Child in Dangers” line by calling 123 (you can call this number from city numbers or mobile operators Beeline and Tele2; you can find the number of the line of your region on the website of the regional administration of the Investigative Committee).

- You can also apply personally in the police department or, when it comes to sexualized violence, in the Investigative Committee of your city.

You can submit an application in writing or verbally - then the application will be compiled from your words. Before signing the text of the application you dictated, read it and make sure that everything is set out correctly.

In the statement, tell us in detail about the place where violence occurred, indicate the names of the witnesses, if they know you, provide video or audio, if you have them. As much as possible, describe the circumstances of the incident.

- Do not forget to first think about your own safety, as well as that your own actions should be legal. If, by providing assistance, you will commit an offense (for example, hit the rapist), you can bear responsibility. Also remember that you do not have the right to lead someone else's child, take him from parents by your own decision.

If beatings take place regularly, for example, in a family of neighbors

In addition to the police, it is worth informing the guardianship service. There is no centralized way to contact the local department of guardianship and trusteeship. To write a statement, you can look in Yandex or Google “Department of Guardianship” and the name of the municipal district where the case takes place, and then use the contacts that will be found.

The guardianship authorities will be required to conduct an audit on your application. They will come home home and appreciate the living conditions of the child. If the guardianship authorities consider that there is a threat to the life and health of the child, they have the right to take it. They immediately notify the prosecutor about this and apply to the court, where the issue of deprivation or restriction of parental rights will be resolved.

If the conditions in the family change for the better, for example, parents will begin therapy with a psychologist or undergo a rehabilitation course from alcoholism, guardianship authorities can conduct a second check and return the child to the family.

If possible, make sure that the bodies you contacted were reacted: you went to the place, interviewed the child, examined him for traces of violence.

If you think that police officers or guardianship authorities have not solved the problem

In this case, you have the right to contact the head of the police department or the head of the Investigative Committee with a complaint. In it, describe in detail the actions or inaction of the employee, tell us about what situation the child was in. The authorities will be obliged to conduct a new check.

Also, with this complaint, you can contact the Commissioner for the Rights of the Child in your region. You can find out the numbers on the hotline 8 (800) 2000-122 or on the site . As a rule, the Commissioner for the Rights of the Child does not disregard. After the request of the Commissioner, a second check of the living conditions of the child may also be assigned.

Can they be accused of false denunciation if the fact of violence is not confirmed?

No. You cannot be brought to criminal liability under Article 306 of the Criminal Code “False denunciation”, since you have the right to apply to law enforcement agencies for the facts of a possible violation of children's rights.

Do I need to provide the police with information about yourself?

Yes, when submitting an application, you will inform the name, passport data, registration address and contacts. You may also interview you as a witness as part of an audit or in court if the case comes to him.

And if we are talking about violence that does not threaten the life of the child, but does harm to him?

You can try to talk to the parent, but be friendly, talk exclusively from the perspective of the sympathetic. It is not worth teaching, giving tips on education, as this can even more angry the parent.

It is best to offer specific help:

• Sit with the child so that mother sleeps if we are talking about your friends;
• pay for the nanny if the family has no opportunity;
• Find the contacts of a psychologist;
• offer assistance on the household;
• Help with the construction of the child in kindergarten.

The Center for Vilius.net has an online support group “ Parents in Order ”, in which they work with the problem of parental burnout. In the group you can get support from other parents and psychologist, as well as discuss how to build a healthy relationship with the child.

If you know that in the family violence occurs in relation to the child and in relation to the mother

When the men are not there, you can try very softly, showing sympathy for a woman, telling about crisis centers where she can seek legal advice, as well as get asylum.

For example, there is a map of the Assistance Centers “ Violence.net ”, where organizations are marked where women can find shelter and get a consultation of a lawyer and a psychologist.

If the child is an adult enough to seek help on his own

In this case, you can help a teenager with the search for contacts. In addition to the necessary phones, show participation - this will be for the child the necessary support from the adult. It is important that he understands that not one. Therefore, in addition to the contacts of law enforcement agencies, give the numbers of centers that consult psychologists and lawyers, as well as your phone number for emergency calls.

A list of organizations and centers where a minor can seek help

The Commissioner for the Rights of the Child is entitled to influence any situation that creates the danger of the health and life of children, anywhere: in the family, school, on the street or in a colony for minor offenders. You can contact through the site and by phone +7 (495) 132-55-05

Helpline for children . On this phone, you can talk with a psychologist or social worker, including anonymously. Employees will help to understand how to act. +7 (800) 200-01-22

The hotline of the investigative department of the IC of the Russian Federation "Child is in danger." The phone works around the clock to receive information about a crime against a child +7 (800) 200-19-10 or short number 123.

The project “They will believe” you - the help of a psychologist and lawyer in a situation of sexualized violence for children and adults. You can write an application through the site .

"Your territory." Psychological and legal assistance for those who are up to 23 years old. You can seek help in chat mode . You can contact through the mail tvoya_territoria@mail.ru or VKontakte . Lawyers advise by +7 (800) 550-56-29 from 9 to 18 hours. Consultation of a psychologist by phone +7 (800) 2000-122

The Center for Assisting Sexualized Violence of Sisters survivors . Crisis counseling, informing by phone of trust or by crisis mail, psychological consultations. Not only adults, but also children, as well as the parents of the injured children, can turn from sexualized violence. Write on the mail online@sisters-help.ru or trust phone number +7 499 90102010201

Stellylite Assistance card . On it you can find the organization closest to you where they help children who have survived sexualized violence.