"He called me a bandel"

The mobilized wife - about the struggle for the return of her husband, stupid frauds of the presidential administration and the nightmare, into which her life has turned

In early November, the relatives of the mobilized reached the Communist Party of the Communist Party in Moscow with the posters “return the children of the fathers”, “Mobilized time home” and “There is no unlimited mobilization”. This was the first noticeable action of close mobilized from the beginning of the war with Ukraine. The participant of the action 30-year-old Vera Ozimkov (the name changed) admits that after the mobilization of her husband, her life turned into a nightmare. Vera alone brings up two children, worries about her husband’s life and is afraid to think about what crimes he committed as a soldier of the Russian army. She recently decided that this should not continue, and joined the movement for demobilization. Now, together with other relatives, she seeks the return of men home. Ozimkova told the cold her story.

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Since childhood, I am a pacifist, I believe that people should live in the world, and for me the war is an unthinkable trouble. Our grandparents, who passed the Great Patriotic War, always repeated: "If only there was no war." What are we? Their parting is distorted so that it turned out: "We can repeat." And they repeated ...

The family did not share my feelings, I often argued with my husband and his relatives because of the war. My husband called me a bandet, said that since I live in Russia, I should support it in everything. Despite this, the husband did not support the war, said that Russia allegedly forced Russia to this step, but realized that the war was not carrying anything good, not eager to fight and criticized those who glued the letters Z for cars. These conversations with relatives upset me, but I could not assume that the war would affect my family directly. I thought that everything would remain at the level of conversations, our disagreements and my internal experiences.

But in October, my husband received a summons and said that he would go to the military enlistment office. “How I will hide if the agenda has come. I'm not a coward! " He told me. This was his main argument, but he was also sure that, he would not appear on the agenda, he would have been brought a criminal case against him. Then there was a very troubled time: on the Internet they distributed different and not always verified information about liability for failure to appear-so he read somewhere and believed that they would start a criminal case if he ignored the agenda. He did not intend to hide on the cellars or go to another country and went to the military registration and enlistment office.

"You’ll sit on this bus, I will lie under it"

I could not stop him, although attempts made the most desperate. I broke the agenda, hid a military ID, locked it several times at home without keys. I went to swear with the military commissar. I thought to break my husband, somehow to cripple him, but did not figure out how to do it, and did not want to resort to violence. I understood that he was an adult and ultimately acted, as he considers necessary, and more and more tried to influence him with conversations. She explained to him that he would die in vain, leave the children without a father, and he waved. He believed that he, as an inexperienced person, who had served only military service, would not be sent to the fed, but would be left in the border zone to perform auxiliary functions.

I went to see my husband to war with my daughter. She wrote on the sheets of the Paper “The World”, “No War” and wanted to distribute them to the relatives of the mobilized, so that we could all express our disagreement with what was happening and for the last time to call our relatives to change our minds. As a result, no one took these leaflets from us, and my daughter and I were the only ones who stood with them in the courtyard of the military enlistment office while the guys were loaded on the bus. I then said to my husband: "You’ll sit on this bus, I will lie under it." And it was not a bluff, I really was ready to do anything if he was not taken away. But he really asked me not to do this: he said that the bus would just eat me, and I will only disgrace it. I did not lie down under the bus. Now I understand that in vain.

I did not know that it was with him for almost two months, but at the end of November he got in touch. He said that he found himself at the front a week after he arrived in the unit. They were sent to Ukraine as meat, neither a medical commission nor preparation was carried out. My husband received a military specialty at the age of 19 and since then did not fulfill any military duties, in his detachment there were middle -aged people who did not remember how they served - it was so long ago.

The connection with her husband is unstable. The last time we contacted a week ago. And now I do not know whether he is alive or not. My husband is not used to complaining and tells me little. I think this patience and unwillingness to grumble for fate in our men are just an army and educated. At the age of 18, it was told that only women whine, so they do not whine. But even he sometimes does not withstand, he says that they have no time to replace them, and they are all terribly tired and want to go home. I can’t even imagine what kind of fatigue they have accumulated: for so much time to be at the front without rotation, being civilian people.

And their conditions are difficult. The husband periodically boughts equipment and clothes at his own expense, says that something is missing, and something is not given high quality. In general, the humanitarian and volunteers helps a lot, but they do not reach some places. And the places are dead: once they simply lacked drinking water with the guys.

I don’t know if my husband killed civilians, but I really hope that he did not do a lot of bad things. A month ago, he came home on vacation, I asked him what he was doing in the war, he said something, I do not want to say that. I do not know how true his stories are, and in fact I myself am afraid to know the truth.

He is a part of unnecessary evil to anyone

When the husband came on vacation, he became different. I drank all the time, which did not happen before. He began to behave more aggressively with children, more often to increase their voice on them. I came up with a game during which the youngest child was supposed to fulfill the tasks that are impossible due to his age. It was difficult for him, and my husband insisted, as a result, my son burst into tears, and I stopped this game. I have seen the symptoms of PTSD in this behavior. The man saw what no one should see, his psyche was injured, and he does not know how to put up with this pain, and tries to drown it out as he knows how - alcohol and cries. But you can’t explain this to the children, they just feel bad.

At first they asked where dad, they said that they were bored, then they stopped. Instead, they began to play the war - to stick on their forehead painted in red cotton wheels, bandage their heads, build prostheses on their feet, as if they were injured in war. I don’t know where they get it from: I don’t specifically turn on the TV at home, I tell them that war is bad, that dad was there only because Putin sent him there, but he would not go, but everything is to no avail. I can understand my stress, understand and express my anxiety in words, but they do not know how, they express it like this, through these terrible games.

The President loves to talk about family values, the state in words is concerned about the promotion of family policy, but in fact it took away the fathers from our children and is not going to return. It’s hard for me to manage the children alone, I have never planned to be the only parent, but household difficulties are not the worst. I have been living in a nightmare for a year. I wake up in the middle of the night in tears, because I dream of a war and what is happening with my husband there. From the very beginning, I knew that all this was absolutely in vain, and now my husband is there. He is part of this unnecessary evil, and at any moment he can be killed.

Therefore, when he returned to the front from vacation last month, I decided that I was enough. I cannot stop this criminal war, but I can start doing something in order to regain my husband, and the children of my father. I found the “Way Home” group in the telegram channel, where other wives, mothers and sisters of the mobilized discussed what could be done to return our men home. I used to know that I could not be the only one who believes that civilian people cannot be taken away and hold at the front until the end of the war, which do not understand when it comes. But in this group I found women who are ready not only to cry, but also to act.

They broke through the information blockade

I saw that the girls were sending requests to the Ministry of Defense, to the presidential administration, they are overwhelmed with letters of the State Duma deputies, demanding the demobilize our men, and joined their movement. The answers to these requests come for the most part for the most part: they write to us about vacations that they are supposedly respected in accordance with the law. Firstly, this is impudent lies, vacations are delayed, and instead of 28 days, some children are sent home for half the deadline. And secondly, we do not require vacations-we demand that we return our men completely, so that they no longer return to war. We do not need vacations and rotation, we demand that everything return to the condition until September 21. Since we are not a war, but his own and mobilization is not universal, but partial, then only those who want, and not those who are forcibly carried away and have not been released for a year, should participate in it.

In essence, no one clearly answers us anything to complete demobilization. From the presidential administration they wrote to us that our men can quit the mobilization service in accordance with existing legislation, that is, in any way until the president announces the completion of mobilization or after the termination of circumstances that served as the basis for the call of citizens for military service. That is, after the end of his.

Since our written requests do not receive the proper reaction, we decided to reach the rally. They saw that the Communist Party of the Communist Party for justice was taking place in the center of Moscow, and joined it. We thought that we have the right to attend this rally, because it is dedicated to justice, and in our case, justice was violated.

The police, however, did not agree with this and, as soon as we launched the posters, approached us, asked what we were doing here, and said that our requirements are not related to the rally agenda. But they acted correctly, because the rally was agreed, they did not detain anyone and did not be rude to us. We managed to talk with the journalists present there, take a picture, chat with Zyuganov and other State Duma deputies from the Communist Party. They politely listened to us, took our written appeals.

Some have already sent answers, however, also stupid. They wrote that they work with the Ministry of Defense on the issue of vacations and thanked us for the appeal. But I believe that, despite this, the action was a success, because we were at least a little bit, but we managed to break the information blockade, show that we exist and that we are ready to fight for our husbands. The military commissars wrote about us, not in good vein, but they wrote . Previously, the topic of mobilized by them was silent.

I can’t say what we are going to do next, because we do not have an administration or a leader, we are just such a bee swarm. But we will definitely not sit still. Now women from the “Way Home”, together with other mobilized relatives, are trying to coordinate a rally in Novosibirsk. They have not been able to do this yet. (Soon after Kholod, he talked with Vera Ozimkova, the Novosibirsk City Hall forbade relatives of the mobilized rally for their rights. The organizers of the action reported that now it will be held in a “closed room.” - Approx. Cold.) But I am ready to go on such promotions. This is not as scary as to go to the military registration and enlistment office with anti -war posters. Then I felt lost, I was in a state of shock, but here I have a clear problem for which I am struggling.

Although the experience of being beaten by the police was present here. Even despite the fact that some relatives of the mobilized, unlike me, support the war and do not urge her to stop. They want their goals to be fulfilled at the expense of professional military, who voluntarily concluded a contract, and not their exhausted relatives. I do not know how many of them sincerely believe that the Nazis live in Ukraine who dream of committing an end to Russia. I think that in fact, many do not support the war, they are simply afraid to talk about it openly. And I understand them - to do it now and really scary.

Be that as it may, we try not to make a policy of stumbling over, since our common goal is demobilization.