I went to war because of the boss. And then deserted

The story of a mobilized IT -School, who escaped from Russia in six months at the front

32-year-old Andrei Polyakov from a small city in Central Russia was mobilized on September 23, 2022. He was not a supporter of the war, but could not abandon the service. Polyakov says that, having hit the front, he tried to stay away from the weapon and constantly thought about how to escape. In August 2023, he finally succeeded. "Cold" tells the story of his escape.

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The name, surname and some personal data of the hero are changed for the sake of his safety.

On February 24, 2022, I immediately realized that if there was mobilization in Russia, they would call me. A few years ago I was military service, so I was in the forefront for a call. But I did not dare to leave: I was worried that I had no money stock, and indeed I did not know where to go and what I could do in a foreign country. I never went beyond Russia, I did not even have a passport.

As I expected, the agenda was brought to me the very day after the announcement of mobilization, right to the workplace. I worked as a system administrator in a state institution and could not refuse: if I had not signed [its receipt], then my authorities would have problems. I was born and all my life lived in a small city for 10 thousand people, where everyone knows each other. Not only me, but my whole family is familiar with the superiors. I did not want to substitute anyone.

On September 23, I went to the military registration and enlistment office, I did not take any things with me. I no longer returned home: I was immediately taken to the military unit without any medical examination. In the early days there was a complete chaos, no one knew anything, the authorities called someone and asked what to do with us. There was not even food in us in the early days. But over time, we figured it out, they began to teach us - first in the classes, then at the training grounds.

The military was assigned to us, who already had experience in participating in “Svo” - those who at the very beginning tried to storm Kyiv. They did not imagine, they were forbidden to photograph them, and I thought that they were either from intelligence or from PMCs.

In November, my unit was sent to the Crimea from the educational part. The first months we were in the rear and did not do anything special: we equipped dugouts, went to outfits, and sometimes engaged in shooting. They gave me the specialization “Assistant machine gunner”, but I tried to do staff work. I wanted to stay away from the fighting.

I thought how to escape

We celebrated the New Year in the rear. They celebrated in the dining room, the cooks tried and prepared more or less festive food. Volunteers- volunteers brought tangerines, oranges, sweets. It was forbidden to drink alcohol, but people managed to carry, poured into bottles from under the juice. In general, even relatives could even call relatively calmly.

On January 2 or 3, we were taken to the front line. We rode for five days on KamAZs in Ukrainian territory. We spent the night in the forest, right on the ground, in sleeping bags, despite the fact that the frosts reached −28. I will not call the direction to which we were sent, but this is one of those places where last winter there were active military operations.

The commanders turned out to be ardent supporters and carriers of Russian propaganda: I had a feeling that I spent 24 hours a day with Skabeev, Solovyov and Kiselev. It was very difficult for me with them, because I do not consider Ukrainians fascists, I do not believe in the theory that some biological weapons were being developed in Ukraine. Every day they talked about some “rainbow” Ukrainian Nazis, about the fact that the compote in the cellar could be specially poisoned, carried all nonsense. But this did not prevent them from using things and products from the houses of peaceful Ukrainians who lived there earlier. Literally everything was taken out.

In one cellar with his colleagues, I lasted 10 days, and then, together with a friend who did not believe in the “Russian world”, moved to the house in the neighborhood where the Ukrainians used to live. It was more dangerous to live there: if a projectile had arrived, the walls of the house would just have developed. But for me this option was better than being in the same room with colleagues and authorities.

About five months that we spent on the forefront, I was engaged in connection and protection. I was not officially appointed by the signalman, but since I am ITSHAN, my knowledge came in handy for establishing a communication system.

The work was at the headquarters. The headquarters is said loudly. It was located in the cellar under a conventional garage for a passenger car. Three by four meters. We removed jars with jam and compotes, carried the potatoes into the street, cleared the shelves. The military and the commander himself slept on the shelves. Headquarters were also held there.

Every day I thought about how to escape. Logically, I understood that you just could not do this - we need preparation. Firstly, you need a margin of time to move until you have been put on the wanted list and you can get to another country. Secondly, before leaving I wanted to see loved ones. I understood that this was a breakup for a long time. Thirdly, I needed a stock of money for at least a few months of life in a foreign country, but at first I did not have it at all. Therefore, I tried not to spend and put off earned by mobilization. In addition, it was necessary to understand how and where to go at all.

There was no Internet in the combat zone at all, the towers were turned off. Sometimes it was possible to connect to Ukrainian cellular communications, but it was dangerous - so they could find us.

On the Ukrainian radio that we caught us, I heard about the organization "I want to live." They offered Russian military personnel to surrender. I seriously considered this option, but I realized that in my case it was very dangerous. If I were in the coming company, then I could try to quietly run away and get lost. Or if we were attacked, you could give up. But I could not do this from the headquarters: if I ran towards the Ukrainian troops, I would be shot either on one or the other side.

In August, they gave me a vacation for two weeks, and I immediately decided that I would no longer return to the front.

I was driving in stress

I came to my parents on vacation without warning them. Made a surprise. Of course, they were delighted and cried to see me. Having reached the computer, on the first night I began to look for information about desertion on the Internet. I found several organizations that help. The first I was answered from the project “Go Forest” . I explained my situation and promised me to help.

List of helping organizations:
- “Go forest” - a project that helps not to fall into the war for those who fall under the call and mobilization. It also helps to desert those who have already become a soldier. You can turn through a bot in a telegram .
- Intransit is a group of people who assist the pursued in Russia for political reasons. You can turn through a bot in a telegram.
- “Excellent” is a project that helps to evacuate from Russia to people who have a criminal or administrative case. More information can be found on the site .
- “The movement of conscious refusers” - helps to avoid military service. You can contact by filling out a questionnaire in a telegram bout .
-Equal Post OST -an organization that supports LGBTK people. You can request help through a bot in a telegram .
- Connection EV is an international organization that helps refusenants from military service and deserters. You can contact the site .
- “Ark” - a project for assistance to emigrants from Russia, which condemn military aggression against Ukraine. Different assistance options can be found on the site .

The biggest problem was that I did not have a passport. I would no longer have time to get it, I needed to leave Russia until the end of vacation. I was helped to make a route of moving to a country where a passport is not required, and they told how to prepare. Within a week I took off cash: during the service I managed to accumulate a little more than one and a half million rubles. Since a daily limit was set to withdraw money, it was necessary to go to the ATM every day and remove in small parts.

Parents that I decided to escape, said only in a couple of days. Of course, they were very scared for me. But, having thought about it, they agreed that it was better than returning to the front. I collected a small backpack with the most necessary, left the phone with my SIM card and went.

I can’t reveal all the details, because it can be unsafe for other fugitives. I think there will be more and more of them: when the mobilized ones have the opportunity to go on vacation, then they begin to study the methods of desertion. But the main thing that is recommended with such an escape is not to buy tickets where a passport may be required. That is, you need to go on the crossroads, on the way, preferably in the detour of large cities. I caught private traders, several times transplanted to other drivers. He paid cash so that there was no digital trace. Experisively found out that even in the hostel they asked for a passport to register. I talked with the administrator and found out that from the hostel information about visitors was transmitted to the Ministry of Internal Affairs every morning, because of this I left there early in the morning.

Before the start of the vacation, I was photographed - it seems to me that they did this so that the system had relevant photographs of military personnel. Just in case you have to search. Therefore, I needed to avoid video surveillance cameras.

I needed to get to the border, going around Moscow. I thought out the route in advance and decided that it would be less noticeable to go by car of domestic production. I thought that foreign cars are more often stopped, the documents are checked, and fined. He found a driver who was traveling in the direction I needed, asked if he was planning to go directly through Moscow, he said that the route is bypassing. I went with him, his car was just domestic.

At some point in the path, I suddenly realized that the driver was going right in Moscow. I look: absolutely all cars around foreign production. He planned not to attract attention, but turned out to be a linger in the eye in the general stream. Moreover, we also had an accident. It seems to be okay: another car just crushed us a lateral mirror. One could calmly agree, but the drivers began to argue and decided to call the traffic police.

I sat in the car and thought what to do: if I go out, I will probably get to the video surveillance cameras, if I stay, police officers can see me when they come to understand. He sat in stress, but he did not dare to say anything - you never know how the driver could respond, learning that I was a deserter.

For my happiness, after a few hours of waiting for the traffic police, drivers were tired and decided to agree on a little compensation. And we went on.

When I already exhaled that the troubles were behind, I suddenly realized that we were going directly past Red Square. I tried to cling to a chair so that my surveillance cameras would not catch. I could relax only when we already went outside the city.

Another nervous moment was when I bought a plane ticket. The box office said that I needed a passport, which I did not have. But I knew that tickets could be sold according to the Russian passport, ”the employee said about this. There was such silence as in the cinema. She began to call someone. I think: "Well, that's it, now they will take me away." The cashier, as far as I remember, took my passport and consulted with someone on the phone for a long time. But then she hung up the phone and still sold me a ticket.

The road from the parental house to the safe place where I am now, took me four days. I had to spend the night somewhere, somewhere to wait for the next bus or plane for several hours.

The first thing I did in a new place was just getting enough sleep. Then he went to exchange rubles for the local currency, contacted the coordinators in “go forest” to inform them that I managed to leave. Before the shoot, we spoke risks and different options with them, which could happen to me on the way. They even discussed that if they suddenly did not let me out of Russia, then I will have time to return to the front and try to pretend that there was nothing. And then we would have acted according to circumstances, we would discuss what options remain.

I counted on another

The first days I did not contact my relatives. The fact that I successfully left, they learned from police officers who came to look for me. After the investigator from the Investigative Committee came, then - employees of the city administration. They searched the house, tried to find me, asked where I hid.

I got in touch with my family only 10 days after leaving, and still do not tell them where I am. I’m afraid that they can be recognized either with spies, or by foreign agents, or persons affiliated with foreign agents. I think it’s better that they do not know any details - it will be safer for them. They put pressure on them, reports messages for me so that I return to Russia. Like, if I return, then there will be no criminal. But, as far as I know, two days after a person does not return from vacation, they automatically be developed a criminal case and put on the wanted list.

There are three articles of the Criminal Code by which the deserter can be held accountable for leaving the part or refusal to comply with the order.
- Article 332 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation “Failure to fulfill the order”. This article comes in the refusal of a soldier to participate in hostilities, if he is in a military unit or on the front line. The refusal to execute the order in the military unit falls under part 2.1 of Art. 332; The refusenik faces from two to three years in prison, and this is the softest version of punishment;
- Article 337 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation “Unauthorized abandonment of part or place of service” is applied when the military leaves the part “without good reason”. Criminal liability occurs after two days of absence. According to this article, the military can face from five to 10 years in prison (if they are absent in the service for more than a month);
- Article 338 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation “desertion” differs from the “unauthorized abandonment of the part” in that the military evades the need to carry out the service forever, and not temporarily. This is the most difficult article by the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation for deserters. During the period of mobilization, he can face from five to 15 years.

Lawyers whose comments published Mediazona advise refusing to fulfill orders in the territory of the military unit in order to get the minimum possible punishment.

"Cold" found Andrei Polyakov in the list of wanted persons against whom a criminal case has been instituted. However, the editors are unknown by which article they are looking for him.

In general, I had a plan to go further to Europe or the USA, because they do not give out deserters from these countries even on request. But it turned out that without a passport, I could not ask for asylum there. I counted on another, but what to do now.

I read about the fact that many military are experiencing PTSD after several months at the front. I think I also have some consequences, even though I myself did not participate in the hostilities. Sometimes I can’t fall asleep for a very long time, and sometimes panic attacks happen. For example, because of loud sounds. It happens that you go past some attractions or a shopping center, where the roar comes from, and everything is fine. And it happens that from the sound of the exhaust pipe of the car it becomes very bad. It begins to shake, there is a feeling of heaviness in the chest. There is the same feeling of fear that happened during strong shelling.

It happens that memories will surge and the feeling of hopelessness that I experienced when I was on the front line will return. After all, I was “sick for another team” and did not want to fight, it was dumb because none of the Ukrainians knew that I was generally against this whole war and did nothing wrong.

I thought to turn to a psychologist, but so far I understand the question of where I will live, whether it will be possible to emigrate to a safer country. This is a more priority question for me. Before going to bed, I’m trying to distract my brain with something: for example, to study something new for work-so that there are no nightmares, as if I am there again.