Are you not a man?

The Russian authorities convince us that the only one worthy of a man is to go to fight. We talked with Russians - representatives of “female professions” - about how gender stereotypes affect their lives

"The duty of a man is to serve the homeland." Russians hear this slogan in various interpretations from childhood. It is repeated on school rulers and at concerts by February 23, they are written on posters and posters on the eve of May 9.

With the outbreak of war, a formal reason to talk about a sacred male share - to fight and die at the front - no longer needs. Every day starting on February 24, 2022, Russians with different pictures, hints, and sometimes in direct words remind how and why men differ from women. In strengthening these gender stereotypes, the Ministry of Defense is expected to succeed. “Contract service is real male work,” says a bright banner on the website of the department. “You are a man. Be it, ”calls the propaganda video of the ministry. In the frame, five men in military uniform are piercing at the viewer. But not all Russian men see themselves by military personnel. Does this mean that they are less courageous? We talked with young Russians - representatives of the "nonsense" professions about how gender norms affect their lives.

All names are changed

Anton, 32 years old, Moscow

Teacher-psychologist

“As a child, and now in a sense, too, I was an idealist, I wanted to benefit society,” says Anton.

For this reason, he - almost a round excellent student - immediately after school entered the university for psychology.

For his recent courses, Anton managed to work with drug users, and with criminals, and difficult teenagers.

“I was drawn to work with heavy categories,” he says. - People with disorders, people with a heavy criminal history and so on. It seemed to me that work with these categories of persons, although difficult, but the most useful.

For several years, the man worked at the time of temporary detention for minor offenders (TsVSNP). This is a place where adolescents who violate the law are sent for a short time.

- It is stated in the Criminal Code that the total criminal liability occurs from the age of 16 and in some cases from 14. If you commit some kind of criminally punishable acts at an earlier age, then with a probability of 95% the maximum sanction that can be applied to the child, this is 30 days in the CVPNP. You are locked in an institution of a closed type, where you are observed around the clock, ”the man explains.

They often fall into the CVPNP for theft, sometimes for rape, Anton recalls. The task of employees of such a center is to show children an example of socially acceptable behavior.

The educational part in the CVPNP, and in general in institutions for children, are more often engaged in women. Among the psychologists of the Center, Anton was the only man. He was paid for the work just above the minimum wage.

“This was mostly admiration for colleagues,” Anton laughs. - It was usually believed that guys are engaged in another job. Everyone was more happy that I came: "Now, someone can speak the same language with the guys, like a kid with boys."

The relatives calmly react to Anton's career choice, but globally the society is rather skeptical about men-psychologists, he said.

-I remember, I somehow listened to a radio program in which it was discussed how to choose a psychologist. The presenters recalled the famous saying that "a female psychologist is not a psychologist, but a male psychologist is not a man." And then they added that if a man is seriously engaged in psychology, then he should be “something like gay”. Cool, I think, the image of our profession.

Some friends of Anton engaged in psychology are found with discrimination in real life. Often its sources become relatives who consider the choice of such a profession “not male”.

- One friend of mine worked as a psychologist in the Russian Guard. He was pressed by his own father and his friends. They were all military officers who went through Afghanistan, and he, therefore, was engaged in just some kind of psychology. “Normal” men with machine guns run, serve in the “Vityaz”, and he sits with pieces of paper.

Sometimes stereotypes associated with the profession even help, Anton argues, citing his active career growth as an example.

- Often at work they told me that since I am a man and not a loafer, then I am a normal psychologist. I do not know how much this applies to other “female” professions, but we have it. With male teachers, the same story is a special thrill for them. This is a useful advantage, but I still think that it is rather bad. I met psychologists-complete morons who enjoyed authority precisely because of gender stereotypes.

The stereotypes themselves are taken from attempts to find an explanation for some real observations, the psychologist believes.

- Indeed, there are statistics that 97% of education psychologists are women. People are trying to somehow explain this, they say, the profession is female. And the fact that we have wages at a beggarly level and men simply do not go to this area, because there is no money, this is another.

Kirill, 27 years old, St. Petersburg

The author of master classes for the manufacture of decorative cosmetics

Cyril was born and raised in a small "not even city." As far as he remembers, he was engaged in creativity: he painted paintings, created visuals for social networks, made beauty reviews, tried himself as a make-up artist. A specialty at the university, the young man also chose a creative - graphic design.

At one time, Cyril led a blog in which he published his work, including makeup.

“I liked playing with flowers, texture and forms on my face,” he recalls.

Sometimes users of social networks reacted violently. Cyril in different words reminded that makeup is a “female story”.

-It seems to me that such comments arise because some people cannot afford to do something similar, somehow show themselves. Therefore, they spill their negative on people who can do this, ”Cyril argues.

Since childhood, the young man loved to experiment, dye his hair in bright colors and dress unusually. Against this background, he sometimes encountered misunderstanding or even intolerance from people who do not accept his appearance or hobby.

-I never perceived myself as a girl, just looked different. It was normal for me.

At first I did not understand why this was happening. I don’t do anything bad, I don’t beat anyone, I don’t swear with anyone, there is nothing so bad. Just somehow I look different. For me, this is still a mystery.

In their school years, Cyril managed to find support from the family and close friends. Mom even helped him dye his hair. Now the young man lives in St. Petersburg, where he almost does not encounter open manifestations of aggression, although he recalls a couple of cases when strangers on the street or in the subway tried to "show him for the appearance."

“I don’t care, I have been living with this all my life,” Cyril laughs.

After the recognition of the “LGBT movement” by an extremist organization, the level of anxiety in the life of Cyril has nevertheless increased. There was an understanding that on the street it is necessary to control its own appearance, and in the country it is now possible to "officially spread rot people who look wrong."

“Makeup, long hair, especially dyed,“ so it is rather impossible [look like a man], ”Cyril argues. - Although if you dig deeper, then earlier, on the contrary, in general, only the guys were painted.

Resistance to stereotypes is the path to personal freedom, the young man believes.

-There are so many people who want to look in a certain way, but they cannot, because society will not accept them because they, for example, are painted. I’m looking now, all the guys-beauty bloggers even closed the pages.

Peter, 41 years old, Moscow region

Recreation officer

In a sense, Peter divides his life into “before” and “after”. In his first life, he, Siberian, worked on an ambulance, and served in the Marine Corps. True, it was not possible to rush to the high ranks: because of a fight with a drunken lieutenant colonel Peter, he was first sent to a disciplinary military unit, and then he completely quit his service.

In this life, “before” Peter was surrounded by friends and friends, for whom the separation between male and female was obvious.

- How then, in a past life, they said? There is men's work, there is women's work. Here are the Germans: children, church, kitchen. And what about a man? TV, football and money, ”the man laughs.

Life "after" began about ten years ago. The second wife had a serious influence on Peter. She introduced a man with new concepts and outlooks on life, spoke about polyamoria and about the problem of domestic violence.

“When the case of the Khachaturian sisters was going on, we, together with our wife, went to the picket in our town,” Peter recalls. - I saw that life could be different, the other, but on TV they do not show this. And it captured me. Then he became interested in ecology, separate collection of garbage, the difference between vegetarianism from veganism, and so on. And my old friends - they are not at all. They would live to the pay, drink vodka, drip songs - and that’s it.

The man divorced his wife, but did not refuse new views. Now he works as a technician at the recreation center, does both “male” and “female” work - depending on the orders of the authorities: it happens that you have to clean the septic tank, but it happens - to remove the guests' bedrooms. At the same time, some of his colleagues is sometimes embarrassed by the range of tasks.

“In our homeland, only women do this,” Peter retells the words of a friend-Turkman, who is sometimes sent at work to cover the beds for guests or wash the floors.

Peter, however, says that from the idea of ​​strict separation of gender roles he is doing.

-Perhaps someday these stereotypes will change, but this should go from a person. You can’t just take it and say: “Now everyone is equal. Vasily, you will bake pancakes today, and you, Catherine, will go to repair the car. ” By the way, I have many acquaintances of girls who repair the car normally. In the engines, they are picking, they can sort the engine, replace the oil. And there are enough men who can cook normally. So here it is impossible to say that women are at the stove, and all men - for cars.

Take care of men

In 1968, the Soviet demograph in Boris Urlanis published an article in the Literary Gazeta entitled “Beregie Men”. In it, the scientist was one of the first to try to draw attention to specific male problems in the country and, in particular, to male mortality.

Almost 60 years later, this topic does not lose relevance. According to the preliminary assessment of Rosstat, which is citing RBC, women born in 2022 will live ten years longer than men. This gender gap in Russia is higher than in any other country in the world, writes “to be precise”, referring to the UN data.

There are several reasons for this - both biological and social. Social causes are primarily associated with stereotypical gender roles and norms, that is, ideas about femininity and masculinity that affect everyday human behavior, views on life and habits.

If with biological factors, such as congenital malformations that are more often found in boys, you can not always do something, then it is quite possible to influence the social environment.

“The post -Soviet type of masculinity, where a man does not pay any attention to his health, tries to prove to everyone that he is the strongest, never gets sick and so on, also does not affect mortality,” says the specialist in male and female mortality, the graduate student of Université Catholique de Louvain in the conversation with “to be the same”.

Social expectations from men also lead to structural discrimination: in Russia, only men are called up for military service in the army.

The image of a selfless strong man erected into the absolute becomes an instrument in skillful hands - from advertising shields and TV screens you can push people to the desired choice: "Do you want to go to fight, are you not a man?"