"I have no way back, this is a conscious act"

On the last day of the election of the President of Russia, March 17, the activist and co -founder of the Parki AR Minda project Mariam Povanidze burned her Russian passport before the consulate of the Russian Federation in Istanbul. At the same time, she, the indigenous Muscovite, remains a citizen of Georgia.

Due to the action, the dogovanidze was detained and put in the camp for illegal emigrants for four days, after which it was deported to Georgia. Mariam believes that the horrors she saw in the camp is more important than her protest - and is preparing to separately illuminate the conditions of women there.

Paper Kartuli learned from the activist how she organized a performance in Istanbul , what she saw in the camp for illegal emigrants and why she does not see the point of protesting in Russia.

“I wanted to achieve this - not to leave myself a chance to return.” Why Mariam burned her passport in Istanbul

- Türkiye is a territory similar in its dictatorship to Russia, so I thought that my action there will have a greater effect. If I burned my passport here [in Tbilisi], it would not be interested in anyone. And in Turkey it is more dangerous, so it turned out to be a stronger statement.

The general plan was like this: at first I publish a video with the announcement , I vote, I upload a video from the volcano (where the performance Mariam and Danila Tkachenko is captured with a burning portrait of Putin on the Stromboli volcano - approx. Paper Kartuli ), and then I go out and burn my passport.

The Russian Consulate is in a tourist place, on the street of the Trushklal. March 17 I came there at about 12:45. There was a huge queue. But I agreed that I would be missed forward without queue. Inside, I ruined the ballot: I drew hui instead of checkmarks, wrote “Putin should burn in hell” and “Glory to Ukraine!”.

It was not possible to photograph, because the consulate was not allowed with phones, it was necessary to leave them at the entrance. Then I went to prepare for a performance in a cafe opposite. In the toilet she made inscriptions on her hands and in the passport (in English: “Putin = killer. I will never forgive him. He destroyed our future” and “Russia kills” - approx. Paper Kartuli ).

I calculated the risks and knew that they would detain me and that it would follow - I knew everything except the camp [for illegal emigrants]. On this path, I was accompanied by my Turkish friend and operator Berk Tosun: he shot a video that I will lay out soon, and which will become final in a series of videos dedicated by March 17, 2024.

I understood: I have no way back. But it was a conscious act. Yes, it was scary, difficult and partly even painful [burning passport]. Not in terms of the passport itself, because I have complete disgust for symbolism on it. But there was a moment when the passport burned out, and - this is visible on one of the video - I cried.

I understood that I have been burning bridges: I have not been to Russia for three years. If until 2022 many of us had at least some hopes, then after February 24 they were not left. I was the last time in Russia in 2021. And she left in 2014, because the war began then.

When the passport burned out, I realized that now I would definitely not go to Moscow. I wanted to achieve this - not to leave myself a chance to return. Because we have talked about the point of no return many times many times as citizens of Russia - but all the time pushed it back.

The only reason I thought that perhaps I would go to the Russian Federation is my mother and relatives. My mother is 72. And maybe I will say a terrible thing, but now even for this reason I will not go to Moscow.

"The first three hours in the police everything was super." How the activist was detained because of her performance

- I was detained immediately as soon as my passport was burned out. The police arrived, all [employees] were in black, in a black car with a blue flashing light from above - very prestigious. They were on duty near the Russian consulate in connection with a large accumulation of people - and came running when they saw smoke.

The Turkish passport is similar in color to Russian, and at first they thought that I was a Turkish woman. But it became obvious that this was not so when they took away the rest of [passport] from me.

As a citizen of Georgia, I understood that nothing bad would happen, because by law they had no right to send me to the country, different from the one, according to the passport of which I entered. They did not have the right to send me to Russia, even taking into account the fact that I am a Russian citizen. Although, as I understand it, such conversations were conducted: at least later, the embassy [Georgia] told my dad that there was such a danger.

The first three hours in the police were everything super. I had a translator and they explained to me that soon I could go out, and the final decision on my issue will be in two days. I even wrote to my dad: “Don’t worry, I’m in the department, now I’ll draw up a protocol, and I’ll go home.”

As a result, the translator went, I went downstairs, and the policeman girl asked me to remove the rings and laces on a mixture of the language of gestures and Turkish. As a result, through the Google translator I was informed that I need to sit in the department for a couple of hours.

I called my father and said that everything changed sharply. Dad understood everything (he, too, can be said, the activist - participated in the defense of the White House on the side of democratic forces during the events of the 1991 coup) and said that he would call the Georgian Ministry of Internal Affairs and the embassy.

I took off my laces, rings and went into the monkey. There was a magnificent Hannah - an illegal emigrant from Eritrea, with whom we talked. I was given a bottle of water, juice and sandwich. The monkey was a suite, compared to the place where I was taken away later.

Due to the fact that I immediately called my father, at the time when we were told “to the exit” and the handcuffs were put on, Georgian diplomats arrived at the site. They explained to me that now they would most likely take me to the camp for illegal emigrants. They said not to worry and agree to deportation.

“The fact that I got there has become more important than the action itself.” How Mariam spent four days in an emigrant camp

- We got into the car and drove for an hour. Then we were not designed for a long time. We sat in an closed office for an hour.

During this time, I managed to publish Storis, mark the location and inform everyone. As a result, quite a few people rescued me. I know: many called the Ministry of Internal Affairs asked when they released me. And I am grateful to these people.

The camp is a separate large topic about which I am now preparing the material. The fact that I got there became more important than the performance itself, because it is a gulag of the 21st century in Turkey.

Only in our building, according to my estimates, there were 500 people - and new ones constantly arrived. I considered that the floor there was designed for about 85 people, and about 200 were placed. In the room where ten people are placed, there are 20.

I slept on the same bed with a woman from Uzbekistan, her name is Marie. I hope she has already left. Russian -speaking women shared tea with me, gave dried bread and plastic packages of honey, as in an airplane. There is no soap, toilet paper too. Antisanitarian is complete. Lattices. No medicines.

I started menstruation - they gave me a children's diaper. There is only one answer to all diseases: Parol is a paracetamol in Turkish. You are pregnant - Parol, cough - Parol. And everything needs to be asked, they do not give you anything just like that.

Inside the building there is a store where they drive under the escort. There prices are two times higher than in Istanbul-and you can buy something only for cash. By some miracle, I had 40 lires in my pocket, and we bought cigarettes for 60 lire cigarettes [with other emigrants]. In Istanbul, I bought them for 20 lire.

Not all women who are there are illegal emigrants. Most - yes. But there were exceptional cases: for example, a girl from Azerbaijan, who came out a day earlier than me. She was brought there because she quarreled with a police officer - and she had to agree to a deportation in Baku.

Employees speak only Turkish. I have nothing against the Turkish language, but for me a mystery: why in a camp for illegal emigrants, employees know only one language? It is simply incompatible with logic. Emigrants from African countries, for example, do not know Turkish, although they speak English perfectly. Nobody can communicate with them there ...

At the same time, there are translators in the office: they gave me Julia. This is a brighter person: I don’t know why she works in this place. She helped me a lot, with the help of her I was able to achieve me to call. But what did it cost me ... I made a scandal there.

I feel sorry for the women who are stuck there for months and whom no one will help. Therefore, it seems to me that it is important to talk about it. I said to them [camp staff] with direct text: “You will regret the day when you closed me here. Because all the other women who are here will not have the strength to talk about it, and I will make it the goal of my life - to tell about what is happening here. ”

"I do not want to be a dull Russian or dull Georgian with Moscow roots." What does Mariam think about further protest

- I do not regret anything. It seems to me that it’s good that they deported me: the stronger the punishment, the more your business attracts attention. The main mistake of the dictators is that when you apply power to the protesters, you give them more points. This is what attracts attention.

In Russia, this does not work, unfortunately. One of the reasons, in my opinion, is the isolation of Russian civil society, the opposition. People who watch TV do not know about protest. My mother for Crimea: my parents broke up because of this. I periodically tell her what is happening, how people are planted - she agrees that it is terrible and it should not be so, but then she says that she is sure: our courts will figure it out, and human rights activists will help.

We [in Russia] tried as we could. I am in protest from the very beginning, I went to all the shares. But, firstly, an incommensurable percentage: the opposition is less. And secondly, the repressions intensified. At the same time, there are bolder people who continue to protest. I endlessly admire their courage. I did not have enough such courage. That is why I left. Given my emotionality and inability to lie, I would sooner or later be in prison, also with my Georgian mug.

I have experienced an oppression since 2006. By the way, this is what I am offended by my friends: for example, one of them wrote on February 24: "We woke up in a fascist state." But Russia has become a fascist state for a very long time. And to say such things in 2022 even somehow indecent. And I meet this very often. Among their friends. It seems to me that we all have to admit: we could not, we did not succeed, and this is fucked up.

If someone, as a citizen of Russia, says: go to protest, then I answer that I can, but I do not see the point in this. I see the point of helping political prisoners in the Russian Federation, help people leave the Russian Federation and Ukraine, collect money for the Armed Forces of Ukraine and refugees. But I do not see the point of sitting in a Russian prison and being a sacred victim.

I believe that the state of Russia should remain in Central Russia and become a new country in which I may ever want to live. I do not want to return to this fascist Germany of the 21st century under the name Russia. At the moment, I do not imagine this possible for myself.

I am one of those Georgians who boycott any products produced in Russia. I want not a single penny to go to war. Everywhere where I can avoid contact with the Russian machine and the tax system, I do this simply from the principle.

At the same time, I clearly share politics and culture and language. The Russian language is my beloved, my mouth. I can speak English, in Georgian, but I want to speak Russian. I would like to live in Moscow. I am a native Muscovite, but I can't. This is my separate small tragedy, but this is nothing compared to the bombing of Kyiv or Mariupol.

I do not want to be a dull Russian or dull Georgian with Moscow roots, which will write tearful posts about how I want to return to the Russian Federation and how I miss the Nizhny Novgorod fields. This is inappropriate.

Moscow, by which I miss, is no longer. I have nowhere to return. In Mariupol, the whole city was destroyed. I have two friends from there, they lived near the drama theater. Now they are in Austria. They are my very close friends and I discussed it with them. They literally destroyed the city, and they will not return there for a long time. And I have a whole city, but it is not either.

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