I dropped 100 kilograms

I participated in the reality show "Big Girls", but psychotherapy helped me lose weight loss

The 25-year-old resident of Samara Elnara Melikova from childhood suffered from overeating. Two years ago, her weight reached a mark of 226 kilograms. Psychotherapy and a blog in which she talks about the process helped her to lose weight: in a year and a half, Elnara dropped 100 kilograms. In 2023, already in the weight of 179 kilograms, she became a member of the show "Big Girls". Elnara told the “cold” that she helps her go to her goal, why, unlike other participants in the show, she could not recover again and whether she managed to accept and love her body.

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Since childhood, I have been a large child and already in the elementary grades of the school weighed more than necessary. The situation was aggravated by the fact that I always loved food, especially sweets. My parents are responsible people, and they were worried about my health. I was taken to hospitals to different specialists: mainly dietaryists and endocrinologists. But in childhood, I did not want to be treated at all and for a long time I did not see any problems in my excess weight. When I was a teenager, they bought me subscriptions to the gym, but they disappeared in vain.

Unlike many children, I did not encounter bullying or bullying at school. Perhaps they discussed me behind me, but I did not notice aggression addressed to me. I was always very sociable, I had many friends. In adulthood, I was also surrounded by friends and friends who did not allow me to feel uncomfortable, I constantly went to parties and parties. Of course, I had some problems with my personal life: most guys want to see a beautiful, slender girl next to me. But, despite the excess weight, I was not deprived of attention, because I always followed myself.

After graduation, I entered the Samara Medical University. Before the fourth year, I had to take an academic vacation, which lasted several years. At this time, I did not work and did not study, and my parents decided that they did not just want to give me money. I have a wealthy family, so they bought me a tattoo salon. But I could not support the business: I spent huge amounts, and basically they went to food. I got into debt and began to take loans in microcredit firms.

My disorder of food behavior has aggravated: I started to eat even more from problems and stress. The tattoo-satellite had to be sold to pay off the creditors. It was possible to get out of debts only two years ago - by that time my weight reached 226 kilograms. After that, I began to go to psychotherapy, took up my mind, returned to school, decided to lose weight and started a blog.

"I could eat a loaf or a whole pizza"

When I weighed 100 kilograms more than now, it was very difficult for me physically: it was difficult to walk, climb the stairs. 226 kilograms are already a direct road to disability and stroller (WHO warns that with obesity the risk of diabetes of the second type, cardiovascular diseases, negative consequences for the musculoskeletal system and reproductive function.-approx. “Cold”) . But then I did not think about the danger and realized that I had to lose weight only when I started working with a therapist. I turned to a specialist with a request on another personal problem, but in the end we came to a conversation about my excess weight.

I will lie, if I say that at the peak of weight I took my body: after all, I saw myself in the mirror and realized that I looked unaesthetic. But there was no hatred of him either - I treated my weight evenly.

First of all, I began to lose weight because I stopped seizing negative emotions and stress. I realized that we do not get fat from one piece of pizza or sandwich with lard. It’s just that I had never done one piece before, but immediately ate a loaf or a whole pizza.

There is no bad and good food - there is no need to demonize it.

Food is wonderful, but it should not become a cult. I do not recognize any diets, because it acts only for a certain period: to lose weight to the wedding, to summer or to the birthday. There is a high probability that after the end of the diet, the weight will return back.

Now I have no tough restrictions. If I want ice cream or a piece of pizza, then I eat it. It's just that I am doing it in a dosage now. I no longer need to seize my stress, because I learned to pronounce my emotions, and not keep them in myself. Now, during a quarrel with a person, I directly say that it bothers me. And before, for example, I cursed with a friend or experienced other problems - and jammed them. It was easier for me to muffle stress with food than to honestly tell a person that I was not satisfied with his behavior or our communication.

"After losing weight, the show participants gained weight again"

I did not apply for any show and never thought about participating in reality. But in the summer of 2023, the manager of the project “Big Girls” wrote me on the TV channel “Friday!” And he offered to become a participant - he noticed me on Instagram. It became interesting to me, I agreed, and in the summer the shooting began.

The project turned out to be a difficult but important experience for me. In the first episode of the show, I damaged my leg, because of which I had to skip the next test. In the "Big Girls" I stayed for a month, after which I was tired and, at will, left the project.

In the comments on the releases, many spectators scolded the creators of the show for bullying participants, for a bad and unethical attitude towards us. In fact, it seemed so rather from the outside. During my stay in the show, we were normally fed. But after my departure, the girls were very severely cut off. Most coaches and mentors were normal people, but often changed for the better during filming. For example, coach Kirill was an adequate man until the moment was in his ear for recording, and after for some reason he became tough and rude. Eteri Tutberidze's figure skating coach, who was our referee, actually turned out to be a very difficult person. She did not communicate with us, and sometimes it seemed to me that she did not like people overweight.

The main problem for me was that, due to the limited deadlines of the project, we almost did not sleep: it was difficult to endure a lot of night filming. In general, I belong to my participation in "big girls" as a common experience: it was both good and bad. I don’t even really want to talk about him, because I consider him a step in my life, on which I do not want to get hung up.

Almost all participants in the “big girls” admitted to social networks that they had rollbacks and after losing weight in the show, they added 10-15 kilograms. Lilit Khachatryan, Daria Troshina and I do well well, and Alexander Stepanova did a bariatric surgery (surgical decrease in the volume of the stomach. - approx. "Cold"). I believe that weight gain is associated with sharp weight loss and inability to observe the same regime constantly. In the show you consume 1000 calories per day, being under constant supervision. We were kept in hedgehog mittens, we could not go anywhere or find food. And after returning, you see an abundance of food and cannot observe restrictions. But I left the project in the fourth week and continue to lose weight, because I deal with a psychotherapist and work out problems in my head.

I will not say that popularity after the show fell on me like snow on my head. In Samara, I was quite famous to the "big girls", my blog was popular. But now they will recognize me much more often on the streets of the city and take pictures with me. In social networks, I get a lot of supporting messages and Hayt. Fatphobic comments have always been written to me, and they do not hurt me. Most often, I am accused of that I actually do not lose weight, or, conversely, that I did injections or surgery to reduce the stomach. But I no longer see the point of arguing and prove my case to others.

Even if I weigh 70 kilograms, they will always find on the Internet what to catch and condemn. And I want to live my life the way I want, and not as society wants.

"Overpik" and Bariatrics - not a panacea "

For a year and a half, my weight has been declining, although I have not done any injections or bariatry. Now I hang 122 kilograms, that is, in a year and a half I dropped 104 kilograms. The cutting of portions, classes in the gym and pool and walking on foot helped. It’s very difficult for me to get up and go to training in the morning, but I overcome myself, because I know why I need it. In addition, after sports, I feel very good. I try not to starve and there is for the most part healthy food. The easiest way in this regard is in the summer: in the heat it is easier to be limited to vegetables, fruits, berries and cold water.

Recently, the weight stood up, I worried that I dropped not so much as I wanted initially. She began to count calories, but due to hard restrictions she began to break and eat more than expected again. Fortunately, I managed to stop in time and not drive myself into a hard framework.

After losing weight, my life changed dramatically. And the matter is not only in weight: I have changed both externally and internally. I recovered at the university, began to feel more free, travel more, more often go to events, walk a lot and communicate even more with people. I stopped laying my life for later. Nevertheless, I continue to catch many views on myself, because people on the streets believe that I stand out and differ from them. During traveling to other countries, I notice that for some reason only in Russia they love to point a finger at people. If there were more tolerance in our society, then people with disabilities, excess weight or its lack of wealth would feel much more comfortable.

I am difficult to belong to the concept of body positive. If this is a love for myself, then I doubt that a 150-kilogram girl will be able to love herself. I used to say that I love and accept myself even with a weight of 226 kilograms, but now I understand that I was very cunning. Love for oneself is a concern for your health. If a person values ​​his body and health, this is fine. If he accepts in himself what he cannot change, this is wonderful. But if people cover the obvious problems that can lead them to disability - this is terrible.

I want to advise losing weight girls: please, take your time!

No need to think that if the weight has decreased, it will continue to be. I had periods when the weight stood. In such cases, you do not need to despair, sit on hard diets, starve and exhaust yourself with training. Do not get on the scales several times a day - this is in your case a bad assistant, because the numbers on the scales can change several times a day. If you understand that you are ready to give up, take measurements and try on old clothes. Perhaps your volumes are leaving, although weight does not decrease. “Overpick” and Bariatrics are also not a panacea and not magical methods that will solve the problem for you. If you do not find the reason for overeating, no operations and injections will help you. After them, kilograms are returning because they do not treat food disorder.

Remember that we will not get rid of a couple of months from what we eaten for years. Everything needs to be done wisely. If, instead of normal weight loss, you decided to extremely and very quickly lose weight - please. But remember that this weight can not only return, new kilograms can be added to it.