Translated material
The husband of 20 years mocked me
A resident of Sochi Varvara Svitnev, a cosmetologist and mother of two children, said in social networks that her husband, a respected doctor in the city, was mocking her family for years. She showed a video how he returns home at night, breaks the doors, breaks the glass with brick and throws them into his wife and children. She said that her husband threatened her for years, and once she decided to escape from home. About how she fled from her husband, without waiting for help from the police, - Varvara told the "cold".
He held in fear of me and the children, but I decided to live differently
Help "cold" to tell human stories
We put a person in the center of our journalism and talk about people who are faced with injustice, but do not lose their spirit and continue to fight for their rights and freedoms. In order to further cover human stories, we need readers' support - thanks to your donations, we continue to work, despite the pressure of the state.
- Foreign card
- RF map ↘︎
- Patreon ↘︎
- Translation
- Crypt
Monthly
Once
5 €
- 10 €
- 20 €
30 €
5 €
- 10 €
- 20 €
- Another
- Bank of the Russian Federation
- Foreign Bank
Card number:
5536 9138 6472 8742
Copulated!
Recipient:
Taisiya Bekbulatova
Copulated!
Recipient:
Projektas Šaltis
Copulated!
Account number:
LT613500010016198323
Copulated!
Swift bic:
EVIULT2VXXX
Copulated!
Bank:
Lietuvos Bankas (Bank of Lithuania)
Copulated!
Comment-nazing payment:
Parama įstatymų numatytais tikslais (Be Konkretaus Tikslo)
Copulated!
We ask you to indicate the comment so that we can accurately determine the receipt of funds. The phrase translates as follows: "Support for the statutory purposes (without a specific purpose)."
Sum: €
To sacrifice
When making a donation, you accept the privacy policy
Sergei and I were changed at the request of the heroine in connection with the trial. - Approx. "Cold" ) met at the institute - both studied at the Perm Medical Academy. In 2004, after two years of relations, we got married. The husband graduated from the academy and became a neuropathologist, and after graduation I went on maternity leave. First, a daughter was born, and three years later - a son, they are now 17 and 14 years old.
An alarming calls were before the wedding, but then I did not attach any importance to them. I became a “good wife”: I was on maternity leave with two children, I did not recall - and everything was calm.
Doctors insisted on an abortion, but I still gave birth to they expected that the child would die during childbirth or remain disabled. But with my daughter, everything is in order of society 6 minutes of reading
When I went to work after the decree, my husband began to tease me: "What do you have to work?" When I did not want to go to classical medicine and chose cosmetology, he called my choice a "frivolous profession." While I was sitting on maternity leave, I had no friends - only a house, husband and children. And when they appeared, he called each “whore” and “whore”. He said the same thing about patients: "Normal women do not go to the cosmetologist."
At first I turned a blind eye to problems: my husband is smart, provides a family, patients appreciate him. Everything seemed to be fine, but inside I was sick. However, I believed that this was temporary, and he would stop ridiculing me and insulting my friends.
No one knows what is going on behind closed doors
However, he began to constantly touch and humiliate me - it seems to be a joke or out of care, but in fact it was a way to control me. “Do not go there”, “Do not communicate with this person, I am worried about you”, “Do not wear it.” Sometimes panic attacks began to happen.
Want to tell your story "Cold"? Write to us!
After I finished breastfeeding my son, I had a dream - to make breast plastic. I just wanted to feel beautiful, restore what changed after pregnancies. But as soon as I hinted at my husband, as in response I heard: “Fuck you these boobs? So that the men watch? "
Over time, he began to yell at me and arrange scandals for no reason - it was enough for him to just drink. At first he allowed himself alcohol only on holidays, then he had “fatigue after work”, and he began to drink more often. Then I stopped feeling the smell of alcohol from him, although according to his state it was obvious that he was drunk.
Later I found out that he grew marijuana - at least two bushes in our garden looked that way. He assured that he did it "for medical purposes."
We have polyamore relations, and we live the three of me, I am happy with my husband and guy Society 21 minutes of reading
I lived in constant tension. Even if everything was calm during the day, I never knew what would happen in the evening. I followed my every word, just not to cause him a flash of aggression and the children did not see this.
I did not tell anyone about what was happening. It was a shame to admit even to myself, and even more so to someone else. I felt that I was a “bad wife” and this is my fault, that I could not save my family. It would seem that you just need to leave, but I continued to hope, persuade myself that it is worth trying to "save" this marriage and still can be fixed.
Soon, the alarm became so strong that panic attacks became more frequent. By that time, I had been living with them for five years and used to cope, but now they began to interfere with my work. It seemed that I was slowly going crazy: I stopped trusting my own thoughts and decided to turn to a psychologist. Then, two and a half years ago, I was first appointed antidepressants.
I began to seriously think about divorce. When I first told my husband about this, threats fell in response. He said that my psychologist “will find in the gateway, kill and raped” that my friends “there will be no life” - and everything is like that.
I was afraid for my loved ones, for my mother, for friends. Despite fear, I nevertheless began to ponder the departure plans. I could not go right away: I had no savings, no safe place where I could go. In addition, first I needed to restore health. 10 years of constant stress led to serious hormonal malfunctions. I have cysts and seals in my chest.
"I will beat so that there are no bruises"
The first outbreak of physical violence on his part happened in the winter of 2022. I do not know what exactly provoked her. He was drunk, ran around the house, broke the door, beat his fists into the wall. After that, there was a lull for six months. However, it soon began to repeat it again: first once a month, then once a week, and in the end it came to the point that it broke almost every day.
In the river they found the body of a man who was castrated before his death , he was “too” religious and trusted in a strange teaching
Crime 8 minutes of reading
He began to drink more and completely lost his self -control. He ran with a knife - at first threatened that he would cut his throat. The next day, he did not remember anything and pretended that it was not.
At first, his aggression had concrete reasons - for example, if I lingered at work or did not answer the call. During quarrels with me, he began to insult my friends, and then switched to me. He locked me at home, did not let me sleep at night. He screamed all night, screamed and, no matter how much I try to hide in another room, close in the bathroom, simply did not allow me to fall asleep.
His behavior was unpredictable. Today he humiliated me, and tomorrow idolized: he gave gifts, flowers, crawled on his knees and cried. When this ceased to act, he began to threaten that he would commit suicide. Several times he tried to climb into a loop, threatened to cut his veins. And all this is in front of the children.
In March 2024, children and I first escaped from home. Another skirmish with her husband got out of control, and a daughter stood up for me. He rushed at her, began to strangle. When I ran to separate them, I flew to me. On that day, he scandalized so loudly that even my mother, who lives in the next site, heard him. When he went to the store for beer, we quickly collected things and went to spend the night to his mother.
For years, women have been beaten on the German island and have been proud of this tradition for about 200 years, but it was hidden from the media for a long time 7 minutes of reading
I could not prove the beatings. He struck so that there were no traces. He even told me with a direct text: “I will beat me so that there are no bruises.” The police told me that slate, slaps, impacts on the back of the head and stomach are not considered a beating. While the eye is not bumped - there was nothing.
This is wrong. Forcible actions that caused pain even without harm to health - this is still either an administrative offense or a criminal offense , depending on the motive and publicity of the aggressor actions. It doesn’t matter whether the traces remained on the body of the victim - violence is still considered unlawful.
Over the past year, we moved at least eight times: I lived with my friend, my sister, spent the night at work, stopped in hotels. At first he searched for us, apologized for a long time, then he began to manipulate the children. He said that if they are not talking to him now, he will set fire to our house and my mother’s house, kill our dogs.
In May 2024, he said that he would no longer live in our house, and moved out. My children and I returned, and for a while he did not appear. However, he was enough for several weeks, and then he again came to arrange scandals. He came at night-at two to three hours.
"Cold" contacted Sergey to hear his version of events. He refused to comment in an obscene form and then blocked the journalist of the "cold"
The last time I saw him in November, when he broke our windows with a brick. It was this moment that I photographed on the video and posted on Instagram.
"We cannot do anything, hire the guard"
He came twice that day. The first time - at about seven in the evening, slightly tipsy. The door was unlocked, and he entered. We tried to drive him out for a long time, but to no avail, so we called the police. When they arrived, they only said: "Understand yourself." I asked them to at least force him to rearrange the car - it was parked so that I could not get into my own. The police advised call the tow truck and left.
I moved to Germany and work in the supermarket I am an engineer and speak well in German. But here everything is so different from Russia that I am afraid to look for work in the specialty Society 7 minutes of reading
At one in the morning he returned. First I broke the gate, then the door. All this time, about an hour and a half, we called 112. When they arrived a second time, they simply politely asked him: “Seryog, what did you come here again?” I was in shock - around glass, blood from cuts with fragments, son in hysteria, the daughter is pale, and they politely persuade him to go to the department.
We wrote statements to the prosecutor’s office, the police, my daughter wrote to the guardianship authorities, but we are refused to initiate a criminal case, since they “do not see the corpus delicti”.
For all the time he was detained about five times, but in the best case, everything was reduced to administrative punishment for petty hooliganism, which did not stop him in any way. The police just shook their hands: "We can’t do anything, hire the guard." The last time I came to the district police officer, he only asked: “Are you still unable to agree with my husband? He is so rich for you that we let him go. ”
“Cold” tried to contact the press service of the Sochi Ministry of Internal Affairs for comment, but no one answered on the phone number indicated on the official website.
Once I tried to seek help from his friends, but no one came. They said: "Just put a man to sleep." Several times I tried to call them, but then I stopped.
In despair, I sent a video of his outputs of his mother. She wrote to her, begged to influence her son, explained that he was inappropriately, driving drunk at the wheel and could harm not only to us, but also to strangers. In response, she only wrote dryly: “Understand yourself, you are adults,” and suggested talking to Sergey again, because “now he is adequate.”
In the fall of 2024, I stopped asking for help and write statements. Just left the house and left with the children.
I decided to live differently
Since then we have been living in hotels: he has not come here because of the guard. There were more expenses, but I began to work a lot - there was simply no other way out. He continues to threaten: he writes that he tracked us down and tuck children. When this happens, we again change the place of residence.
I want to deprive my mother of parental rights, she is mentally ill, I'm trying to take her brother and sister society 7 minutes of reading
He writes from different numbers, by mail, in telegrams, even to mobile banks - sends the ruble, and then a message. Offends my friends, family, customers. If someone appeared on my Instagram, he immediately writes to them.
Friends saw his car several times near their apartments and my office. So, he followed us, but did not fit. People are in shock, but I don’t care: I'm on antidepressants. There are no more emotions.
My daughter also accepts antidepressants and has been involved in the psychotherapist since June 2024. Over the past two years, it has lost a lot of weight: about 10 kilograms. She has not communicated with her father since November: she changed her phone number, retired from all social networks. I’m not even saying her new number to my mother so that this information does not flow anywhere. The antidepressants helped her become calmer, but she still continues to nibble her nails to blood.
The son tried to make contact with his father a couple of times, but it all ended with insults: “Your mother is a whore”, “She will make a fag out of you.” As a result, he also blocked his father. I forbade the children to meet him - I do not know what this person has in my head, and I do not want to take risks.
If possible, I myself take the children to school, sometimes they go with friends. I don’t go to the shops - I try to avoid places where I can face it.
In January, the first court hearing was held on our divorce. I submitted a statement back in May 2024, but in the summer the court of the court burned out in Sochi, and with it all cases and documents. We were not allowed to submit copies, I had to restore papers with a lawyer and serve again.
The girl said that she allegedly left science in the Onlyfans-models on the Internet suggests that she is the AI product and the Onlyfans advertising project
Internet and memes 12 minutes of reading
When my husband found out that I filed for divorce, at first, as usual, I apologized: "I will change, I will improve." Then the manipulations began, and then threats. He stated that he would not give a divorce and would impede in all possible ways.
The man could not come to terms with the fact that I decided to live differently. I hoped that I would forever remain an obedient wife who is sitting at home, cooks, washing, cleaning, sewing his clothes, does not work, did not communicate with anyone, had no interests.
Soon I should give me a court decision on divorce, and then I will be able to engage in imprisonment of parental rights ( the Family Code of the Russian Federation does not require divorce to deprive parental rights. - approx. "Cold" ). But there are no guarantees that everything will work out. He can try to expose me to a hysterical Megor. Therefore, the lawyer and I collect everything: videos, screenshots of correspondence, certificates from school, the conclusion of a psychotherapist. Children are waiting for when it ends. Children want to go home.
In order not to miss the main materials of the "cold", subscribe to our social networks!
"Cold" needs your help to work further
We continue to work, resisting prohibitions and repression in order to maintain independent journalism for Russia the future. How do we do it? Thanks to the support of thousands of caring people.
What are we dreaming about?
About simple and at the same time complex - the ability to work further. Life will change many times beyond recognition, but we, the editors of the Cold, want to stay with you, our readers.
Support the “cold” today, so that we continue to do what we are best done - to be independent media. Thank you!
Photo: provided by the heroine