“No matter where you go, you can’t escape this war”

How parents save children from war propaganda

“No matter where you go, you can’t escape this war”

Irina (name changed), Tbilisi, mother of an 8-year-old schoolboy

Even in kindergarten, we had training sessions for SVO. They said what exactly needed to be bought: bandages, some other things. We did not participate and were not forced to

Then we went to Sunday school, and a terrible thing happened for me. One day we missed a lesson - and it turned out that at that moment a member of the SVO came to them and taught them how to assemble a machine gun.

We saw these photos and never came there again. When they asked me why, I openly said that I didn’t want a child to assemble machine guns.

We went to a robotics club, the child really liked it. And then I found out that the leaders of the circle collect money and themselves take the help to the North Military District. My child assembled robots, and older children, it turns out, took part in the manufacture of drones - and they were also sent there (to the front).

When we first arrived at school, the pressure immediately began for everyone to join the “Eaglets” “Eaglets of Russia” - an organization for schoolchildren in grades 1–4, aimed at patriotic education. “Eaglets” take part in actions in support of the front: they draw postcards to soldiers, send chocolates, etc. “We all join in, we all hand over money for ties.” I asked: is this an organization by choice? They answered me: yes, at will, but don’t you want to? This is such a good organization, they will talk about nature, caring for the environment. I say: can’t we talk about ecology without getting into “Eaglets”?

As a result, we did not join. But it happened that during a scheduled lesson, for example, physical education, they had some kind of “Eaglets” event. And they tell my child - sit in the corridor. When there were all these meetings and events, he sat alone in the corridor all the time.

Then there were messages in chats - there was a collection going on for gifts for soldiers, drawings for soldiers, in support of SVO participants. We didn't participate in anything. But there were no objections except from my side.

Not a single mother ever wrote that we wouldn’t either, we wouldn’t go either. Maybe someone somewhere was against it, but they never expressed anything openly.

Mostly, it seems to me that people don’t care at all. And they do this not out of patriotism, but simply because they said so. For example, when I asked the teacher if it was possible not to go to these “Conversations about Important Things” at all, she said that some people often come there, commissions that look at who is not there, rewrite the names.

At some point it turned out that no matter where you go, you can’t escape this war. The last straw was that the WhatsApp group was closed, and all homework was sent only through Max. I categorically refused to install it; I had to get homework assignments through friends.

I was told that there are good private schools where there is no propaganda and no pressure to join the Eaglets. But they are more expensive than in Georgia. And even there, sooner or later, the child will have to face politics: he is still small, he doesn’t say too much and lets something fall on deaf ears.

As a result, we began to actively prepare documents and left for Georgia.

The child really liked the private school in Georgia. No one scolds or forces you to count 2 cells on the right, 2 on the left. He was constantly given bad marks at our school for this. In Russia, they called me to school because he ran... in physical education. They were forced to sit as punishment. But here you run, jump, and no one scolds you for it.

“What I was most afraid of was that my daughter would express her opinion about the war.”

Maria, Moscow, mother of a 13-year-old schoolboy.

From the first months of the war, I was very worried about what would happen in our school. The daughter was very young, and it was difficult to explain to her that at school she did not have to express everything that she heard at home from her parents and their friends. And when they started talking about the homeland and patriotism, I really didn’t know what to do.

Most of all, I was afraid that my daughter would express her opinion about the war, start arguing with teachers or other classmates, and she would get into big problems because of this.

One day, a teacher very rudely scolded a boy who said that his parents considered this war to be unfair and unnecessary. The parents were even called to the director.

I don’t know what they were talking about, but my daughter was shocked by the whole story. She was 9 years old and cried when she came home. Then I decided to transfer her to another school.

At first everything was fine in the new school and there was no propaganda. But last year, all sorts of military-patriotic events began there too. The daughter said that she would not participate in this. Several more children refused.

The class teacher and the principal hushed it all up. They are great guys and tried to protect the children as best they could. But then the management of the school changed. I realized that I had to get out of here too.

Going abroad with children is very difficult, in my case almost impossible... My friend left in 2023 with her children for Israel to take them away from war propaganda and all this darkness. But a year later they returned. It was very difficult for them to settle there and adapt with the children.

A friend recommended the private school where her children studied. And I am very glad that I listened to her. Now I don’t have to be afraid that my daughter will say something wrong about the war, I don’t have to persuade her not to tell anyone at school what she thinks.

It’s good that I live in Moscow, where there are many different private schools.

“The child thought we were wrong”

Anna, city N, mother of an 8-year-old schoolboy

I very often hear statements from a child that he simply could not get anywhere except school. In support of what is happening now, who is right, who is wrong, who is on which side. As I understand it, this topic is discussed at school, these questions are raised one way or another, and he brings it home.

In addition, there are a huge number of activities aimed at cultivating unhealthy patriotism.

One day we were invited to a concert. It turned out that this was a very pro-war event.

The children learned a very aggressive song about how everyone needs to fight. And this is secret from us. The whole concert was dedicated to supporting what is happening now. It was a shock for us.

A child at that age does not have his own opinion, and everything that is told to him [at school] seems true to him. We try to make him understand that in general, fighting is bad, that everything that happens is not normal. We try to explain what is safe to talk about and what cannot be discussed with anyone. Naturally, this may influence the child towards some kind of paranoia and, of course, will affect him when he grows up.

We cannot hide it from the news background - with drones and so on.

And I see that he became more worried. Now he is thinking about the fact that he needs an emergency suitcase and where he can hide [in case of danger]. This is influenced by both what they are told at school and how it is talked about.

Now we are preparing for emigration. There are no strong private schools in our city. They exist in Moscow, but there is no way to completely avoid all this while living in Russia.

While we are trying to teach the child to think critically. On the one hand, we always teach to trust adults. But now is a time when all adults lie. You can only trust those you know or those whose opinion is truly authoritative for you. We live in such times.