How to stop endlessly checking your phone and scrolling through social networks aimlessly

Breaking the habit of reaching for your phone and aimlessly scrolling through social media can be very difficult. But there are methods to combat this behavior that have been shown to be effective in research and are likely to work for you. We collected these recommendations into one checklist, and also learned from a psychotherapist specializing in addictions what to do if nothing helps.

If you think you pick up your phone too often, spend a lot of time aimlessly on it (for example, scrolling through social media feeds), experience anxiety without this opportunity and are unable to control it, start with simple tips from our checklist. It'sbetter to combine them.

How to spend less time aimlessly on your phone

• The moment you turn on the phone, check with yourself the purpose of viewing
• Put your phone in grayscale mode
• Give your phone a digital cleanse and reduce the number of notifications
• Think about the situations in which you habitually reach for your phone and make a list of what you could do instead
• Get some counseling from a cognitive behavioral therapist, coach, or support group.
• Don't blame yourself if you fail, and keep moving towards your goal.

More details about each item

The moment you turn on the phone, check with yourself the purpose of viewing

You can pause for 10 seconds and ask yourself: “Why am I doing this?” Your goal should be clear and not like excuses. A good option: “I need to look at the weather for tomorrow to understand what to wear, and therefore what things to iron.” Bad option: “Maybe some important message has arrived, I need to check.”

The problem is that such self-control requires training. And here there are two ways to help yourself.

• Try to develop awareness in yourself. This can be done in different ways, but in studies it is full-fledged educational programs that have shown effectiveness.
• Install the One Sec application (setup will take a few minutes). It will prompt you to take a deep breath and think again when you try to open a problematic app. One study showed that in 36% of cases, thanks to One Sec, users decide not to open a sticky service and, overall, the number of such attempts is reduced.

Put your phone in grayscale mode

To make your phone less attractive , you can lower the screen brightness, turn on the night mode feature, or set the grayscale mode . This method will most likely reduce the urge to look at the screen over and over again.

Here's how to do it.

On iPhone

Go to Settings → Accessibility → Display & Text Size → Color Filters → Grayscale.

You can switch between gray and color modes by triple-clicking the side button of your iPhone. You can set it up like this: go to “Settings” → “Universal Access” → “Shortcuts” → “Triple-clicking the side button calls the function” → “Filters”.

On Android

Go to Settings → Accessibility → Visibility Enhancement (or Vision) → Color Correction → select Grayscale.

You can switch between gray and color modes in the “Accessibility Shortcut” section.

Give your phone a digital cleanse and reduce the number of notifications

Turning off notifications completely can add anxiety. Therefore, it is better to simply reduce their number or change the settings so that notifications arrive in groups once an hour or less often.

Think about the situations in which you habitually reach for your phone and make a list of what you could do instead

Often people try to have fun using their phone in situations where they feel bored. Or you want to take your mind off unpleasant thoughts. Or it's time for a break. In such cases, you can instead, for example, warm up, read a pending article , or take a lesson in an app where you learn a foreign language.

This technique—where you plan what you will do instead of the unwanted behavior—has not been specifically studied for problematic phone use, but has been shown to be effective for other similar conditions (such as smoking and drinking alcohol ).

Have several consultations with a cognitive behavioral therapist

We are not talking about a lot of psychotherapeutic work - just a short-term intervention. Itwill help you understand why you're not using social media the way you really would like, and figure out what you need to do to change your behavior.

CBT coach, psychotherapist and trainer of self-help groups for addictions SMART Recovery Dmitry Frolov tells “Bereg” that such problems can be dealt with by support groups ( one of these - it is free - is led by Frolov himself), as well as coaching. The latter approach is used specifically for situations that do not yet fall into the medical category.

Don't blame yourself if you fail, and keep moving towards your goal.

Being too demanding of yourself can cause feelings of guilt and make it difficult to work on your addiction. Therefore, the best strategy in the event of a setback is to show compassion and continue to work on yourself in small steps.

It is quite understandable that it is so difficult to fight the habit of reaching for the phone for no reason. “People, in principle, tend to strive for pleasure and reduce discomfort, learn something new, communicate and receive approval,” Dmitry Frolov tells Bereg. “The problem is that we were not prepared for the fact that this went digital, and [the situation] is made worse by the fact that companies are doing everything possible to actually create this addiction.”

What to do if simple advice doesn’t help

Some people find it easier to control their Internet use, while others find it more difficult. This is fine. And this does not mean that the habit cannot be changed.

Psychotherapist Dmitry Frolov explains to Bereg that there is no one correct approach that will help cope with the problem: “But through trial and error you can find your way. It is important to try different methods , combine and adapt them for yourself , be prepared for breakdowns and relapses into old behavior, but continue to work on yourself. Sooner or later improvement can be achieved.”

The specialist notes that it is important to set realistic and time-limited goals . For example: walk for half an hour every day without your phone.

Frolov also suggests trying various psychological approaches on your own. For example, elements of motivational interviewing and cognitive behavioral therapy. They will help you manage cravings and triggers that provoke the desire to pick up your phone, work through categorical judgments and consciously build a harmonious life.

“Try to notice the desire to pick up the phone, describe how it manifests itself in the body, emotions and sensations,” explains Frolov. The expert suggests imagining traction as a train passing by: its sound intensifies and then weakens. Or like a wave that rises and falls.

In addition, the expert suggests asking yourself questions that will help you look at your desires from a new perspective:

• “Do I really need to watch this news?”
• “Will something terrible happen if I don’t check the likes?”
• “Is it unbearable to sit without your phone for 30 minutes, looking out the window?”
• “Am I the most unhappy person if I don’t do this?”
• “Is my life empty and worthless without the Internet?”

Frolov notes that it is important to learn to change your categorical and extreme attitude towards events. The psychotherapist gives the following examples of such negative thoughts:

• “It absolutely should/shouldn’t be like this”
• "This is absolutely amazing/absolutely terrible"
• “I’m all so special and cool / I’m insignificant and worthless.”
• “I can’t bear these difficulties / everything will be easy and simple”

“It is this attitude that leads to anxiety, shame, guilt, anger, resentment, depression,” says Frolov. — Excessive emotional reactions can become a trigger for you to go on your phone and thereby calm yourself down. We need to try to challenge this perception, explain to ourselves its groundlessness and accept that things often don’t happen the way we want or think is right. People and all life phenomena are not ideal or absolutely bad, rather they are a mixture of bad and good; difficulties are surmountable, and successes are temporary,” says Frolov.

To manage emotions, the expert suggests using the already mentioned mindfulness practices , observing what you feel, as if from the outside. Or, as a temporary measure in crisis situations, try a distraction method other than scrolling through social networks.

True, Frolov notes, psychological techniques for change are sometimes not enough - you need to change your philosophy.

The philosophy of digital minimalism can be justified in different ways. For example, through the ideas of Stoicism or Buddhism - the fewer attachments, the better; through responsible hedonism and epicureanism - the Internet does not make us happier in the long run; Aristotelianism - moderation is important in everything; secular humanism - human life and live communication are more valuable than technology. By practicing digital minimalism, we develop such character qualities as moderation, restraint, prudence, and self-control.

If you can't handle it on your own

You can join free self-help groups. For example, the SMART Recovery programs, which use cognitive behavioral therapy and motivational interviewing approaches, and the 12-step programs of the Internet Addicts Anonymous community (they are based on recognizing the addiction and turning to a “higher power” that helps in recovery).

You can also contact a psychotherapist. Dmitry Frolov advises doing this if, due to excessive phone use:

• physical and mental well-being has worsened (sleep is disturbed, there are anxiety or symptoms of depression );
• you have problems in relationships with loved ones or at work (you miss communication with loved ones, you cannot concentrate while working, you miss deadlines);
• socially dangerous behavior has appeared (for example, you are distracted by your phone while driving);
• the addiction becomes stronger, it is difficult to resist it, and the telephone.

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