“I just wanted to quit, live, find love and raise my son.”

Artyom (name changed) wrote to us. He is 31 years old. He signed a contract for military service even before the start of a full-scale war. After a business trip to the Zaporozhye Nuclear Power Plant, I decided not to return to the unit. Now he is being tried under the article of unauthorized abandonment of his unit.

- I am a contract soldier, and soon I will be in prison. They will give me from five to ten years for leaving my unit without permission. I went on vacation and just couldn’t find the strength to come back.

I didn’t really want to serve anyway. I signed the contract back in 2021 and after a couple of months I decided that I had no desire to serve in such an army. I didn’t even connect this with the war, which, if you remember, as we were assured, would not happen.

But after it started, I not only lost the desire to serve, I developed a complete disgust for what I was doing. Although at that time I was serving deep in Siberia and simply guarding a closed city. And he could still serve there, since it is not possible to quit even after the end of the contract. But fate decreed a little differently, and I ended up at the Zaporozhye Nuclear Power Plant.

After a business trip there, I decided that I would not return again. And no, it’s not that I was affected by any horrors of war - everything was quite calm there. But the very atmosphere that reigned around, the attitude of the military towards the civilian employees of the station, the attitude of the command towards the soldiers - all this was simply depressing, did not allow us to sleep peacefully at night and come to terms with our conscience. Especially when in life you are a pacifist and generally a sane person.

And so I decided not to return. The contract ended a long time ago, and there was hope that they would not want to make a criminal case out of this and would simply fire him retroactively, as in most cases they do. But I was unlucky: I was put on the wanted list and soon removed from the train.

I wanted to make a desperate attempt to leave the country. Stupid, maybe. A little earlier this would have worked, when everything was limited to calls from the unit and correspondence with commanders. But for a very long time I could not decide on this.

I was married at one time and have a nine-year-old son with health problems. He already forgets me over time. The ex-wife doesn’t exactly let us communicate with him. She is already married and lives in a closed city, to which you need a pass. I couldn’t decide to leave my son.

I also thought that I had a chance for some kind of love, some kind of relationship. For the first time in five years after the divorce, I decided to do something, but the girl decided to sleep with my friend at that time. My hands gave up, and I let everything take its course.

I boarded the train, from which I was safely taken off and sent to the unit.

And now I’ve been sitting under investigation for almost six months and waiting for my fate. The case was sent to court, so by the time of publication I will already be in some kind of prison.

I don’t have money for a lawyer, and the desire to somehow defend myself has also disappeared. Complete apathy. And how can I fight this machine, for which I am just a speck of dust? They would have already taken him around the corner and let him go - as if it were easier that way.

Article 337, of course, was edited after the start of the war. For Part 5, which is what I am going through, they give a real sentence of five to ten years.

And so they made me a criminal. But I just wanted to quit, live, find love and raise my son.