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vices

Overstocked barrels

In 60 years we will know if the 1997 cognac is good

By the end of March, distillation of last year's wine should be completed in Charente. The results will become known to the general public only after 60 years. This is exactly how much it takes for the most important brandy of all to reach perfection. But we shouldn’t regret that we most likely won’t be sitting on a spring evening in 2058 with a bottle of some Hine Family Reserve, conceived by the Charente Paderres that winter. After all, when it comes to old cognac, our great-grandchildren have absolutely no advantages over us. The phenomenon of cognac is the quintessence of the French winemaking myth about quality. In a nutshell it is formulated as follows:

Angels' share – one million liters per year

unique natural features (climate, soil, etc.) provide the Bacchus apprentices with unparalleled viticulture and endowed the French with the knowledge to withstand the variability of the agricultural formula. In practice, this dark ideology is realized by mixing (blend, assemblage) alcohols of different ages in one cognac. The final taste always remains unchanged thanks to the skill of the maitre de chais (cellar master). This man has a fantastic knowledge of the merits of the contents of each and every oak barrel in the Domaine cellars. The result of his actions is the consistency of the taste and aroma of the drink. The small production volumes are due to the fact that the best companies in Charente still work using three-hundred-year-old methods. Let’s also take into account the colossal costs associated with storing and aging cognac stocks in “breathing” casks (some companies lose up to

1 million liters per year due to evaporation), - all these factors together give rise to an impressive price for really old, real cognac. Particularly rare stamps are sold only in specialized stores and cost about $2,000. What can we say about restaurant price lists, where one glass of Louis XIII or Richard Hennessy can cost $350. High-quality cognacs that can now be bought in Moscow include, in addition to those mentioned: Delamain Reserve de la Famille, L'Or de Martell, Hine Family Reserve, Privege D'Alexandre Bisquit and Camus Jubilee. The strength of these cognacs (43°) is completely natural. It was achieved through the evaporation of the “angels’ share.” There is nothing to say about the absence of “dyes”: the absolute naturalness of the color is guaranteed. There are simply no better cognacs than these. There are even older ones, but the fact is that after sixty years, brandy can no longer develop for the better - the degrees are lost. So if you are offered a century-old bottle, do not delude yourself about its merits. The best cognacs do not necessarily come in fancy containers. Quite the contrary. With the growth of prestige, packaging is simplified as much as possible. The only exception is Remy Martin Louis XIII. One of the brilliant cognacs of its kind. However, when ordering a “sniffer” at a restaurant with ten grams of this masterpiece on the bottom, remember that first of all this will be perceived as a demonstration of your financial capabilities. And secondly, the price of the order includes the cost of a magnificent bottle made of the most expensive Baccarat crystal, which the sommelier or bartender will take to their home and proudly place on the kitchen shelf. And the last recommendation. It takes a lot of tasting of less resonant brandy variants, as well as arming yourself with historical knowledge of the subject. Expensive cognac, like no other drink, requires a thorough mastery of the theme, just as, for example, going to an Italian opera requires prior familiarity with its libretto.

Vasily Valentinov

Sweet Bitter truth

Deciding to try dessert in a place other than a specialized establishment is a bold experiment. But why not enlighten the reader on the dessert front at business-lunch-friendly Steak on the Rocks? There’s nothing special to say about scoops of vanilla ice cream and donuts - everything is the same as always. The tempting name “House of Caramel” will lead you to rice pudding in a glass bowl. At the top of the whitish mound lies a prepared fresh strawberry. The pudding, like all puddings, is made from leftovers. Mine was made from rice porridge with milk, vanilla sauce and one exceptional and illegal element - human hair. As soon as he was discovered, the tasting ended suddenly. The creme brulee, served in a wide and deep cup, was somewhat comforting. The consistency of the dessert is sweet and digestible. But a little thick for a classic creme brulee and not hot enough. On the surface of the cream there is a golden-brown egg film, not a crust of burnt sugar. The next number of the “Death from Cellulite” program is profiteroles with the already familiar vanilla ice cream and nuts. The quality spheres of choux pastry with buttercream inside were hopelessly ruined by the chocolate sauce, and no amount of nuts could save the situation. Allergens were quelled with just one icy scoop of ice cream. Crepe suzette pancakes are rough to the touch, and their unforgivable thickness completely killed the memories of a delicate dessert in a bitter - not sweet - orange sauce with an orange zest ornament. “Banana split” costs 37.2 rubles. and it looks depressing. On a large plate are warmed banana halves with sweet potato flavor, spread out on both sides. Warm chocolate on top, ice cream in the center - no pleasure. Maybe in times of total vitamin deficiency you shouldn’t pay attention to desserts at all. It would be better to focus on green salads. By the way, in the bar “Steak on the Rocks” that did not live up to expectations, they are very useful.

“Steak on the Stones” 290 12 98 M. Kislovsky, 3 mm “Arbatskaya”, 11.00-24.00, desserts – $3-6.

New restaurant People and Lodges

Banquets were held at the Budapest Hotel. It’s just that the citizens loved to curl themselves up there. Nobody paid attention to the cockroaches: fearless Prussians walked around the tables, playing tasters. With the advent of the Grand Opera restaurant within the old walls, things changed radically. Careful reconstruction destroyed all hints of a prosperous life for insects. Lush scenery of a provincial theater, where there is a lot of everything: burgundy plush and birch checkered plush, gold stucco molding, marble columns and multi-layered curtains. The director (Alexei Novikov - owner of the restaurants "Tsarskaya Okhota", "Club T", "Yolki-Palki", "Sirena", "White Sun of the Desert") is a wealthy man and plays with taste. The Grand Opera hall has boxes, an amphitheater, stalls and a gallery where the lighting technician sits. The musicians in white suits and cannotiers are colorful people with cheerful personalities. To the sounds of an intriguing tango or the anthem of the Soviet coastal peoples “Oh, Odessa - a pearl by the sea!” Restaurant guests are invited to taste dishes of three directions: Russian-Jewish and French. Traditional kalach with red caviar ($15), also known as caviar with kalach. Fifty grams of “Stolichnaya” ($5) (stick out your little finger!) and jellied meat “Nezhny” from veal shanks ($10) is the best formula for destroying high-society habits. The banquet continues with the formmac of unpredictable Atlantic herring ($8). Then chicken cutlets of the most tender quality with ephemeral waves of pale mashed potatoes next door ($19). Meanwhile, on the stage with sky-blue horizons, everything can happen - even tearful gypsies and cancan. The Grand Opera waiters are distinguished by a respectful arch of their backs: “Perhaps an escalope of goose liver?” And seven minutes later, two slices of the fatty, tender product flecked with cranberries and tiny apples sit on the plate ($30). What next? Decent people don't leave a decent restaurant without dessert. Give me the cherry soufflé ($13)!

Grand Opera 923 99 66, 921 40 44 Petrovskie Lines, 2/18 ₮ Kuznetsky Most, Teatralnaya, Okhotny Ryad, 12.00-24.00.

Exotic Come on, Lama, come on!

When nurse Katya invited plumber Afanasy to the circus (film “Afonya”), she promised him Himalayan bears. The plumber didn't go to the circus. Pan Himalayan stayed at the “13 Chairs” zucchini from time to time. In geography school we studied Chomolungma - the top of the world. Tibet remained an unearthly and therefore incomprehensible state with chakras, monks and Buddha.

The Tibetan restaurant "Himalaya" is a great achievement of our city. “The Himalayas” are recognizable from afar: behind the glass stand two tall and terribly independent figures in national dresses. And on the bar counter lies a modest brochure “Tibet Today” for 1993 from St. Petersburg with the militant subtitle “Total Responsibility.” After reading this, you begin to suspect that the restaurant is not open just for food. It is created for harmonious consumption of food and fair thoughts about human rights. The menu, however, is arranged in the usual continental Asian way: dishes follow the main product: appetizers, soups, beef, chicken, rice-noodles-bread, seafood, lamb, pork, vegetables, desserts. Careful attitude towards the client primarily concerns prices. That is, if there is a lot of money, spend it. You won't be able to go all out anyway. Fried dumplings with lamb – 30 rubles, buns stuffed with tender chicken pulp – 35 rubles, soft boiled lamb with radishes and spicy red sauce – 80 rubles. Neat round Amdo Baklap flatbreads (one for each) and steamed Ting Momo buns are free. Most likely, starting dinner with hot Himalayan wine (24 rubles) is wrong. But on the other hand, there is nothing more perfect after a cold walk along Chistye Prudy. In a bowl with a spoon, a translucent liquid smokes and smells strangely of hot kvass. Steamed bunches of rice float in this lake. A mountain product unknown to the inhabitants of the plains was added to the rice infusion - pieces of dried cheese from the milk of the shaggy animal yak. To be honest, our company came to the Tibetans not for meat, but for wholesome vegetables. I was able to try almost everything. Guaranteed delicious spinach with cubes of bean paste (30 rubles), champignons with bamboo (30 rubles) - a vegetarian delight. “Dulum Sonam Pa” (RUR 36) – magical eggplants in hot garlic sauce. But “Shoko Hatsa” (25 rubles) turned out to be an inaccessible dish due to the unbearable spiciness of the boiled potatoes. There was one renegade who ordered “Sok Fuk” - a soup made from miniature pieces of pork and flat Tibetan noodles (20 rubles). But the salted and sliced ​​beef with ginger and hot pepper “Shab-Taak” (72 rubles), beef with celery, beef “Shoko” with tomato and potatoes and beef “Sonam Falzom” with coriander leaves in garlic sauce (all for 72 rubles) remained unclaimed. A similar fate befell the rest of the tempting dishes. Super nutritious Tibetan tea (RUR 18), with milk, butter, ginger, knocked down the rows. But the VM work collective is not going to retreat from their favorite place, because the feeling of “blue clear sky” does not arise anywhere, except in Tibet.

“Himalayas” 917 39 85 Pokrovka, 19 m² “Chistye Prudy”, 12.00-24.00.

Comedy The Pig Farmer and the Shepherd

Why does the average man love gangsters? For beauty. It is almost impossible to admit this to yourself. A manly chin, a cool trunk and reason, expensive clothes, gold rings - if you imitate them outwardly. Internal reforging will take a little longer: noble gloss and an impartial heart are not given to everyone. The transformed subject is supposed to go to the places assigned by rank. So that crystal and silver shimmer, and true friends in tuxedos appreciate life as it should. At the Kabanchik restaurant, the cloakroom attendants are Afro-Russians in top hats. The security guard is a policeman. The waiters are glorious holders of sports ranks with bright faces and slanting fathoms in their shoulders. Their uniform is an elaborate tuxedo with red lapels. Unlike just a Georgian restaurant, the Kabanchik restaurant abandoned the “dukhan” type model. “Kabanchik” is designed elegantly in a Caucasian way and with a specific purpose: to make it like in the Cotton Club. And no questions asked. True, in the evening, instead of a luxurious blonde in sparkles, there are natural gypsies on stage singing and dancing under a chandelier, like in the Bolshoi. Crystal pendants, muskets and sabers, copies of Pirosmani are the sentiments of adults that they are used to and are not ashamed of. You sit at the “presidential” glass aquarium table and feel tired, while the goldfish move their tails, look into their eyes and silently sad in the algae. Through tears of tenderness flowing down your chubby cheeks, you look at the menu and realize that everything is in order. A roll of pickled cabbage with a delicate and spicy walnut paste (RUR 32) is sprinkled with fresh pomegranate seeds and whets your appetite like nothing else. Sizzling gomi corn porridge lives among hot appetizers and is served with semi-melted suluguni (fresh or smoked). A little deception: it is written that gomi with suluguni - 31 rubles. But in reality - 73 rubles, because cheese costs 42. It is not clear why the most modest Georgian dish is so expensive. Unremarkable borscht, tart kharcho, fatal satsivi. Giant khachapuri (66 rubles) is usually ordered for four. Dolma raises only one complaint: in

The bland rolls in grape leaves forgot to add Jamaican pepper especially for the gangsters. In "Boar" you're actually drawn to magic tricks. A small and financially easy number is quail tasting. The bird will be brought under a huge and almost silver hemisphere with a gilded knob. The waiter will lift his cap, and your gaze will appear: a large and red rose made of juicy pepper in the company of a ruddy hummingbird tobacco. And note, only some 40 rubles. Quench your thirst with Georgian wine and Georgian Borjomi and feel light and free in this respected world of fairy tales.

“Kabanchik” 254 86 60 Krasina, 27, building 1 M “Belorusskaya”, 11.30-23.30.