Children's fantasies

Tamara Yakovlevna Safonova helps children undergoing severe treatment for almost ten years. In 1993, she, along with several enthusiasts, registered the public "Charity Fund for Protection of Children from violence." They worked on a volunteer basis for three years, and in 1996, on the initiative of the Central District Directorate of the Moscow Education Committee, the State Psychological and Medical and Social Center “Ozon” was created-the first specialized institution in Moscow, which assisted children affected by abuse and violence. Tamara Yakovlevna became the director of the new center.

It is known that in 2001, in Russia, 100 thousand children and adolescents became victims of crimes, of which 10 thousand were killed or disabled. How many of these crimes were committed in families no one counted. And certainly no one knows how many thousands of “home” crimes were not included in any statistics at all. Even if the child went to the hospital with obvious bodily injuries by bruises, fractures, burns, there is no guarantee that the police learn about this. In fact, doctors have a job description according to which they should immediately report to each such case to the internal affairs bodies. But there is an instruction, but there is no responsibility for its failure. The poet if the doctor is sure that he is dealing with an inconsistent case, he, as a rule, does not tell anyone to anyone. But often this confidence is not based on anything. If the child is small and he himself cannot really tell what happened to him, his parents are not difficult to deceive copper copper: "Here he fell in two hands in a pan with a lump, and therefore burns in the form of gloves." However, even if the doctor informed the police, it is not yet the fact that a criminal case will be instituted and the perpetrators will suffer a punishment.

Tamara Safonova: - Family violence against children is such a problem, from which many CA officials prefer to stay away. Especially but if we are talking about sexual violence, and our center most often deals with it a third of all appeals. This is not a rape on the street, when there are injuries, there are evidence. Sexual violence in the family system of relations in which the child is involved gradually, months and years, forces to keep the “secret” with blackmail, intimidation, etc. In general, it is very difficult to prove anything. And some investigators try not to take such cases by hook or by crook. I remember when the representatives of our center for the first time went to court, and even with a lawyer, it was perceived as a distrust of the court. After all, our state gives a lawyer to a criminal, and does not give a child a victim of violence: it is believed that he is already protecting the state in the person of the prosecutor. Now the court often calls Ozonaa’s employees himself, because the judges realized: our goal in the first ote is not to plant someone at some time, but to protect the child’s right to normal life. It happens that an interrogation or confrontation is carried out by a strand in our center where there are toys, there is a room for psychological unloading in general, everything is arranged for children, and not in a smoked official room with phones.

According to existing regulatory documents, if the child is not 14 years old, a psychologist or social teacher should be present during the interrogation. But it happens that everything was formally done according to the law: they called a psychologist from the nearest school, and he does not understand anything in the problem of family violence, and does not want to delve into, plunge into “this dirt”. Ozone psychologists make sure that the child’s rights are not violated. So that he would correctly understand the question addressed to him. In order for his answer to be brought into the protocol in the form in which the child could answer: maybe in the form of a drawing. Or in the verbal, but so that these were his real words, and not an adult retelling: "... as a result of the penetration of a stupid object." Because such a retold certificate is no longer trusted. And children - victims of sexual violence and so often do not believe, although scientific research and the practice of the Center show: only 3% of children under the age of 12 and 8% of children 12-15 years old fantasize on this subject.

The culprits of sexual violence are most often stepfather, in second place are their native fathers, in the third - other male relatives. The worst thing is that 30% of mothers take the side of the offender, and not the victim: they do not want to believe the child or accuse, for example, the daughter “herself seduced” the rapist.

As for the violence of physical or emotional - here many mothers are not behind the fathers. And it also happens that the child is not formally a victim of violence does not touch him, but before his eyes his father beats his mother or his mother beats another child. So the effect, in the sense of mental consequences, this gives the same as if the child himself was subjected to violence.

The vast majority of home tyrants in childhood themselves suffered from violence in the family. One of the mothers with whom the psychologists of the Ozone Center had to work, put her children for the offense for several hours with her knees on the buckwheat. “I was also punished in childhood, only thanks to this person became,” she said when she was trying to explain what kind of mental trauma she inflicts.

Not all victims of family violence themselves become despots, but the consequences in any case are very difficult. Attempts to psychologically adapt to suffering, which it is impossible to adapt to, burn so much mental energy that in a child this leads to a significant lag in development, and immerses an adult for years. A person often does not recognize this and only from time to time is surprised: “Why is everything given to me so hard? The career does not glue, and I kind of not offended with talents, and I work carefully. Farm troubles for me a real lifelong hard labor; Communication by people, even the most pretty, does not bring any joy. " The victims of family violence day after day, year after year live literally in hell - absolutely invisible, not existing for the rest.

But this invisibility is in many ways artificial. The most important, deep, tragic and today intractable problems of social being and the state have adapted to stuff into a private sphere, out of sight, thereby taking off their responsibility for them. “What can you do, people are all different ... Here in a hundred years, when the moral at Mosfera will change ...” The usual, meaningless words nothing more than a sign of the surrender of numerous venerable social institutions with the state itself, at the head of the problem of violence.