Twitter disputes

December is a month when it seems that the last nerves go in exchange for tangerines, garlands and another portion of news that we did not ask (and did not deserve!). Some are fighting for the remnants of the festive spirit, others are already mentally writing a list of affairs for January, and someone is just trying to stay in their right mind to the sounds of Jingle Bells. But this issue is not about issuing another “festive” portion of the absurd. It is for those who continue to hold on, despite everything that December or in general, this year could bring.

A few sarcasm, a couple of examples of universal stupidity and a few points, where you want to laugh and cry at the same time - everything for you in the last issue is 2024. After all, if there is a complete chaos around, the best way out to find a point in it, at which you can confidently stand. Let this point for the reader will be the Twitter dispute section. This is the same opportunity to break out of the routine for a minute and remind yourself that the world is absurd, but is unprecedented.

1. Let's start with the most encouraging tweet of December: 120.6 million views, 256 thousand likes, 22 thousand reposts and 12 thousand comments. You will never guess what topic it is on. A certain Amelia Mary Lux defended her doctoral dissertation, where she investigated how smells in modern literature form cultural codes, cause emotions and are associated with memory and identity. It sounds harmless, right? But the Internet decided differently: Amelia was accused of all the problems of society, called its dissertation “useless”, wrote threats and insults. Amelia reacted calmly and logical: this is unacceptable and illegal, well, and in general, someone must explain that insults for smells in literature are too much! Amelia, it seems, now knows how Internet scandals smell. Although, if you think about it, strangers on the Web can bring anything to hysteria: someone else's dissertation, sounds of nature, squeaking kittens or photography for the glory of a successful pie.

2. We continue the carnival of causeless aggression for innocent objects. This time, a drum fraction * backpacks fell under the blow. One of the users with a heady nickname Salsa Tequila gave a whole manifest on how backpacks turn men into “full earplaces”. Moreover, in her opinion, even MacBuk will not save inside (why it is MacBook - we do not know, but, apparently, this subject is considered an unconditional symbol of well -being). Twit became a real find for lovers of sarcasm, and a real bacchanalia began in the refraps. The editors were remembered, where men were lamented that now they would have to wear things in a battles from the 97th year or just in their hands, like a real gentleman. Another user assured that he would always wear a backpack with the logo of his university, so that everyone knows that he won the student Olympics. Personal top-1 of the author of the heading: A wonderful man who stated that the backpack remains on it even during sex.

3. The flexibility of planning reached new heights: the IT-River told how he appointed the call to Google Meet with a clear timing 13: 00-13: 30, waited 10 minutes, and then received an answer from the candidate, which will remain in the Annals of management for a long time: “I thought you can connect at any time in this range, until 13:30”. Of course, the tweet instantly scattered into half a million views, collecting remnas, which may well make up the collection "50 reasons, why you will never be hired."

Some suggested "writing more clearly", for example: "Ziznin at 13:00, a duration of 30 minutes." To the reasonable question “If you are appointed to a meeting at 13:00, it is still not obvious that you need to come to it at 13:00?” The geniuses of time management did not answer. In general, such personnel, perceiving timing as the range of freedom, turned out to be a lot. The editors are still lost in conjectures of how some people (it would seem, adults and capables) managed not to choke in a bowl of soup, even if the idea of ​​the exact time seems to them a surreal concept for them. Most of all, a certain young man-analyst of data, who expressed envy of the number of views and stated that such situations were gold for coverage. According to him, if a similar post flew from him, these are immediately +2-3 students to his courses that he leads. It’s scary to imagine what he is still ready for the sake of additional subscriptions ...

4. 2.8 million years of evolution, 300 thousand years of the existence of Homo sapiens, 80 years of computer sciences, 50 years of Gamspa - and all in order to make some gamers in the new game in the new game on the “Witcher” by the main character, Cyril Fiona Rihannon (for fans of just Ciri). Meanwhile, Ciri is really a canonical main character of the books of Pan Sapkovsky (books, thanks to which the game appeared). Apparently, the awareness of this fact still requires updating drivers from some players. In the meantime, they are too busy with whining: they say, Tsiri is the most dull character of books and games, they are not interested in choosing armor for a woman ”(argument!), And in general, the game industry is dead. However, how much is it necessary to hurt the delicate soul of a modern gamer? One way or another, we call the police it is time to save Tsiri from the reviewers evolving longing.

5. Have you thought that your most beloved “non -banal” conspiracy theories can become much more interesting than all these boring Masons, flat land and adrenochrome? Twitter, as always, did not fail, and we have collected for you the most selected (and repelled) theories of conspiracies from the thread with 318 remnas: 1) Colonel Sanders (yes, a man from the CFS poster) - this is the surviving Trotsky. Chicken legs and Marxism? Why not.

2) Alexander Dumas is Pushkin, who staged his death and fled to France. Apparently, in order to finally write the continuation of “Eugene Onegin” without the pressure of critics.

3) Aristocrats and the whole “blue blood” are actually octopuses. The editorial office is now scary to watch documentaries about marine life.

4) Some rocks are not rocks, but stump of giant trees of antiquity. The ancient logging business was clearly impressive.

5) The clips for cleaning clothes actually make it dirtier for us to buy new videos more often. The conspiracy of the sticky tape is disclosed!

6) Palmir, Egyptian pyramids and the whole granite of St. Petersburg - this is all cast from concrete at the end of the 18th century. Because it is obvious: why build, if you can just do beautifully ”?

7) The Soviet Union, building the Moscow metro, dug a tunnel in hell, and now Satan walks around Siberia. We hope, at least I took a hat.

The author of the heading predicts the question of inquisitive readers and immediately gives an exhaustive answer: my favorite conspiracy theory is the one where it is claimed that everything will be fine!