While he was alive, it seemed that our affairs were not hopeless It was simply impossible to immediately believe his death. Consciousness resisted, and it acted like anesthesia. Now the anesthesia wears off, and the pain becomes stronger and more persistent. I am writing to you again, dear “Novaya”, to find at least some consolation. In sympathy. And also because - you, that I was not allowed to say goodbye to Yura, as I wanted, on the pages of the Literaturnaya Gazeta.