I am a bad Armenian, in all respects. I have never lived in Armenia, I know little and poorly about my Armenian roots, I do not speak the language. But the second time in my life I understand what a call of blood is. This is when knocking in temples from pain, powerlessness and compassion. The first time this happened during a terrible earthquake in Armenia in 1988. I, as an external seemingly journalist, but Armenian, cannot be covered by events associated with Armenia.

When the Kremlin began the war in Ukraine, a snuff -box became his favorite meme, according to an association with a conspiracy against Paul I , who was hit in the temple with a gold snuffbox before strangled. It was complained that there was no daredevil who would decide to encroach on the president and his power to "stop this nightmare." And, whoever he was, all sins would be written off for him. It was a hopeless joke, because the conditional snuffbox could only activate it close.

Do you know what the complainants came to the editorial office in the first years of perestroika? Like a carbon copy: they follow me, they irradiate me, listen to me, they try to implant something into the brain. The persecution mania, the fear accumulated for decades began to splash out of people who lived in this fear all their lives, with the first hint of the possibility of free breathing.

This is my last column before February 24, which changed everything. I know that for many, and for me, every day of this year was February 24th. I also know that this year I demanded from many people who think people, attempts to understand their own views and emotions. How did this year affect me what he did to me? 1. The word "war" did not become a routine for me. I still tremble inwardly, pronouncing it. The country that sang "whether the Russian wars want" wanted war.

After the loss of the French team Argentina in the final of the World Cup, I cried. This happens to me very infrequently, and only the second time about sports. For the first time, such unexpected emotions spilled out in the French village, in the building, it seems, the city hall, where many residents came to watch the final match of the 2006 World Cup between France and Italy on the big screen. The situation was similar: a draw in the main and extra time, Italy won the penalty shootout.

"The learned helplessness appears, as a rule, after several unsuccessful attempts to influence the negative circumstances of the environment (or avoid them) and is characterized by passivity, the rejection of action, the unwillingness to change the hostile environment or avoid it, even when such an opportunity appears.

"Europe canceled me, and it would be nice for her to think about how I owe us" vs "Europe again, she wants to fence off and forget about us, and you can understand it." Approximately such disputes are ongoing on Facebook, and this specific dispute is not between the remaining in Russia and who left it, but between the remaining and the remaining. I tend to agree with the second opinion, but with some reservations.

You order wine in a bar or go to the theater, or dig in the garden. You do what you would do a year ago.

“But she still thinks about people. She said all the time:“ I am talking to people. ”And he looked at her so much ...” - “Well, yes, she’s not about all people. Here she definitely will not like you” (the one that “definitely will not like” is “not local”, with or without documents). The man looks at me, seeing that I am listening. I say that I do not vote.

The second day I go under the impression of a conversation with my friend. We talked about what will happen later, after the war, after Putin, how Ukrainians would treat us. And I said that over time, I hope the pain will subside and gradually ... And then she said: "But not in our life." The idea that my generation may not wait for reconciliation with the Ukrainians did not occur to me. I just didn’t think about it, but now I can’t discard this thought.

The second day I go under the impression of a conversation with my friend. We talked about what will happen later, after the war, after Putin, how Ukrainians would treat us. And I said that over time, I hope the pain will subside and gradually ... And then she said: "But not in our life." The idea that my generation may not wait for reconciliation with the Ukrainians did not occur to me. I just didn’t think about it, but now I can’t discard this thought.

The second day I go under the impression of a conversation with my friend. We talked about what will happen later, after the war, after Putin, how Ukrainians would treat us. And I said that over time, I hope the pain will subside and gradually ... And then she said: "But not in our life." The idea that my generation may not wait for reconciliation with the Ukrainians did not occur to me. I just didn’t think about it, but now I can’t discard this thought.

There is so much negativity around that I insurmountly want to write about the good. I’ll make a reservation right away: I’m not a film critic, not a musical critic, not a great expert on Beatles creativity. I am just a spectator who spent several evenings on the documentary The Beatles: Get Back . Nothing more positive, nothing comparable to the pure joy that you were experiencing, looking at the screen, for a long time felt.

I am probably the only of the Russians who, being in Paris, will not go to the exhibition of the collections of the Morozov brothers . I want to immediately note that I will never reproach anyone who will go. This is a private business of everyone. In the same way, I did not go five years ago to openly in the Louis Vuitton Foundation Exhibition of the Schukin collection. For me, these are masterpieces stolen from outstanding collectors by the Bolsheviks.

In the Ministry of Truth, George Orwell from the documents was removed from the documents that was contrary to the party’s general line. The Ministry of Truth Vladimir Putin arranged everything much more funny. You yourself must delete everything that goes against the general line. The ministry only means: this organization, the media, a lawyer company, NPOs, an Internet resource, etc. - undesirable organizations.