Around Russia

Grandfather Masai and Muzungs. Part 1

January 21, 2009 Dmitry Oreshkin

One of the advantages of geography as a form of existence of meaningful matter is friends around the world. At least in Africa. Come, they say, to us in Kenya! In the savannah of the migration season. Again, the historical homeland of Obama.

We took, and went: still a crisis. And there everything is already captured by ours. The travel agency is called Rusalka Safaris Ltd. - If you want, consider as advertising. It works smoothly, capitalism - it is in Africa capitalism; Russians, if they do not specifically nightmare them, they can in Africa. It’s only in Russia that everything from our hands is falling because of the American-Jewish occupation, but you can’t do anything here-a historical path.

In general, how long, short - here it is, the homeland of elephants. Nairobi airport.

Kenytsy

Clear business, Russian and African workers are somewhat surprisingly similar. Well, they drink less. But they smile more often. Actually, almost all the time. Around the Sorochinsky fair. The people are dark, everything is in motion and in business. Life is simple and good: earn a penny, grow children, do not open your mouth. On Sundays, dress clean - and to the church. The topic of Cherevichk is relevant: who got a curiosity, that beauty and love. The “red scroll” also fits into the context - it is impossible with such an accumulation of people without damn.

That is, the country is in perfect order, there is an element of unbridled consumerism. In the evenings, of course, they can rob.

Youth - like locusts. Universities and Academy are approximately as laundry in Moscow. Honestly, others are similar in size. There is even its own Harvard University - not quite in Nairobi, but a little on the sidelines. Probably, for humane reasons, so that colleagues from Boston are not in vain to suffer envy. In general, the people were daring and assertive. Any business on his shoulder, aspiration for the future is amazing. Along the roads in the rift valley of the hotels with the most alluring names: Top Life Hotel, Royal Palace, High Way. Take the bus stop, tighten the roofing iron. Add the design more abruptly - red, blue, yellow with oil paint. A light bulb on the facade. And that's it - the hars of the coupons, life was a success. The main sign cannot be forgotten. For example, Manhattan.

And do not think that they want to inflate you. Novely my one! The word "Hotel" for some reason here is understood as a retail outlet. Gostiny Dvor. Come in, you will be a guest. In general, stall.

By golly, he resembles Russia of those horsemen times when the people, according to Gogol, with childish joy, felt “in one huge monster” fuse, and on the streets of Dikanka, Sol-Syudodsk and Ust-Sysolsk there were signs of the best tailors from London and Paris. There is something to envy. The morning of the nation.

Fuit Troja, Fuimus Trojani [ I]. (Pushkin stole, not at all at Maxim Sokolov).

Unfortunately, it is approximately clear how it all ends. 10 years later, if not earlier, a group of false graduates of any of the local "factories of thought" with piercing clarity realizes that all the troubles of their beloved homeland come from (to choose from): bourgeois exploitation; world colonialism and globalization; expansion of McDonalds and Hollywood; exploitation of black white; Judo-Christian heresy (if graduates, for example, will not be from Nairobi, but from the coastal Mombasa, where Islam dominates). Or, at worst, because the Luo tribe in the century before last, deceiving the fertile lands by Lake Victoria, by deceit, by deceit.

In general, an acute need for social and historical justice will be identified. For what, of course, it will be necessary to force power and establish a truly folk dictatorship. As a result, at the site of a rapidly developing, full life and happy injustices of the country, a poor progressive ghetto such as Zimbabwe, Ethiopia, Sudan, Somalia, Cubes, Venezuela, DPRK, Iran or Upper Volta (with or without rockets) will arise.

Muzungs

An outstanding role in such undertakings is played by a social phenomenon, which in the Russian language does not have a suitable name. In any case, I was desperate to find. Solzhenitsyn came up with an “education” - but, like all the neologisms of Solzhenitsyn, nearby, but not there. And suddenly Africa helped.

Muzung (Mzungu). In a political correct translation from Suakhil is a white man. In an inadvertible street practice, a well -intentioned visiting boob with money. The people's writer is neurubo. V.I. Ulyanov affectionately called such "useful idiots."

Muzung is burdened with advantages that are not earned by him. He is kind, disinterested, sent. Stupid too, but some special, exalted stupidity, which borders on romance. Instead of using the dad with mom (or from the basic sociocultural infrastructure) the advantages for further combating entropy, it hurries to dissolve in it. Encourage, experience, touch. He puts on Panama, sandals, a variegated shirt and boldly plunges into a folk thick - sow a reasonable, kind, eternal.

Entropy, in the person of scumbags under red or green flags, is happy to welcome it. And uses for its intended purpose. With all the consequences that arise in the form of blood and saliva. That is, the order is: first, muzungian saliva, and blood only later.

Almost all white people in Africa are slightly burdened with a similar complex. Black people (good are not fools) know this and use it correctly. In a good revenge for subconscious barking: “To me, my dear (as it is, it is?), It’s slightly awkward that I am more educated, richer and smell of a deodorant from Duty Free. Therefore, be a friend, take my way out of me. With your help, you are a black -haired chock (a clamor peasant, a romantic tramp, a proletarian, a black brown -haired man, a Wahhabis etc.), I will buy a moral indulgence for myself. Give me, brother, I will kiss you so that everyone can see how progressive I am. ”

In general, Kenytsy are deeply right when the muzung is bred into grandmas. Approximately, like those blacksmiths who repaired Chichikov, breaking the price exactly five times. Or three times? However, Chichikov is not from the muzung. To him, a bitch to a cat, do not put a finger in his mouth. This is dear. All the living are still alive.

But the noblet writer N.G. Chernyshevsky-a true muzung-major. That is, in a literary sense, not a tenant. And Nekrasov with his Grisha Dobrosklonov. The founder of this city of the club, A.N. Radishchev, should rightfully be considered. A rare bird will fly to the middle of his "Travel from St. Petersburg to Moscow."

In some places it is Count L.N. Tolstoy - when Platoshe Karataev in Onuchi bows with a creak with a creak. And Dostoevsky with his "God-bearing people"? And the elegant Alexander Blok, who sang our allegedly Asian face with sophisticated European verses?

We will not even be distracted by the Martyan Vasissual Lokhankin, we will immediately take Peshkova Alexei Maksimovich, known under the pursuit of Gorky. Having gained a soul of observations on the construction of the White Sea, he, not ashamed of bright tears, cordially spoke at a meeting with readers-cheestes: “Devillers you are drape! You yourself can’t imagine what great thing you started! ”

The Chekists applauded, modestly looking. Others, one must think. Maybe even better than the singer of tramp and petrels.

Not only Russia, I ask you to notice, the land of the non -frighty muzung. Rin PP Sartre eagerly worshiped Stalin and Mao. Mr. Glingsman, it seems, still believes that European democracy, and not a dictatorship of any Basayev or Karimov-Kadyrov-Berdymuhamedov, would be established in the laid from the Moscow dictatorship of Chechnya. Which, of course, is not a reason for opposite linear conclusions.

And Feikhtwanger, Show, Aragon, Brecht? Their milions are there. But in Russia - darkness, and darkness, and darkness. And, most importantly, we, unlike the West, are somehow not customary to exert intellectual resistance to them. It's a shame, or what? Or disgusting?

President George Junior Bush is also not the last muzung. He, you see, imagined that the freed peoples of Iraq by a friendly family, having entered the family, would begin to build a progressive market economy, steadily increasing life standards according to the American model. Instead, the Sunnis, with complete reciprocity with Shiites, cheerfully undertook to tear each other into pieces. And the Kurds to the best of strength pepper pepper ...

Fortunately for America, she has a sociocultural infrastructure, which allowed quite quickly and clearly explained to George Bush and his party is a mistake.

Freedom, it turns out - is just a chance. And this chance realizes this chance and every person to the best of his own talent, understanding and ideas about happiness. Is it worth it from this that such a chance to provide is harmful and dangerous? Don't think. Just in addition to the chance, you also need to take care of the necessary level of culture.

Pushkin @ Gogol

How many of them, to the best of the talented and honest, they got into the reception of “His Majesty”! And, after all, as a rule, of their own free will. M. Gorky, D. Poor, M. Golodny, A. Veseliy, who joined them I. Homeless and some other nameless and miserable ... in line, bitch children! Over the queue! Together with the National Boodles, Eurasians, Anti -Globalists, Socialists, Islamists, Communists, Masochists and other trepidable audience, sucking out of an intellectual finger for impudent punks.

It is not surprising that Bunin, Nabokov, Khodasevich, Pasternak, Bulgakov, Platonov, Brodsky with their post -revolutionary experience, muzungian tenderness is not completely. But it is truly amazed that it is not heard by our two main writers who have not experienced such experience - Pushkin and Gogol. Although Gogol in this tandem, perhaps, is a led. He nevertheless pressed and was looking for protection at Pushkin. (Well, at least not at the world lumpen testis!) As Pushkin ended, so soon the end came and Gogol. The poor fellow began, to invent metaphysical supports in the “Selected Places ...”, he took over the increased socialist obligations to open truly gigantic Russian characters in the second volume of “Dead Souls”. Well, naturally, he broke out.

Not that - Pushkin. The amazing sense of style and dignity is not even of its own, but a historical one. He knows his price, he does not need to interview and yawn. Neither to the tops, nor before the bottoms. The top of more than six hundred years of Russian nobility; Its advantage is expensive and therefore organic. Pushkin is not looking for excuses, but works honestly. It generates for the nation - as its conscientiously functioning part, and not as a visiting moralizing person - that a nation could not produce without Pushkin: freedom of the language.

Man is absolutely in its place. Not outside, but inside the people. With a complete sense of distance. Well, what can I say - a genius. The mystery of nature. Even if it’s wrong-it’s unlawed, freely and naturally. Unlike the miserable Radishchev, who tossed the words like stones on hard labor, but dug up only “bitter semiistins”, “false thoughts, although vulgar”, set forth, also “barbaric syllable”. This one, even if right, is better not.

“For there is no persuasiveness in reproaches, and there is no truth where there is no love.”

The great Pushkin created a great language - so that later in this language any ungrateful creature could be pleased with his conformism, for the underestimation of the class struggle and a reassessment of the role of personality.

No, such a thing to endure without meanness. To the will! In pampas! In the prairie! To Savannah!

Herds

The peaceful peoples of the rift valley graze mixed. Against the background of cows - the red backs of Gaselle Grant and a piercing zebr. They will not quarrel. Rather, no matter how they notice each other. Antelopes and zebras consider themselves great and free peoples, because they do not obey anyone. In fact, they obey the lions, cheetahs and hyenas, who charge tribute from them. But this, from their point of view, is normal and therefore not shameful. They do not respect cows, because they obey not to lions, but to people from the Masaev tribe. Although, in fairness, the cows also have the right to consider himself a great and free people. There are more of them, they are protected from predators and sleep behind the fence. Masai to an even greater extent the great and free people - who would argue. They do not obey anyone and do not pay a tribute to anyone - if only because there is absolutely nothing to take from them. On the contrary, they themselves tirelessly cut the bribe from visitors to the muzung, hunting to exotic, which L.N. Gumilev called "Persian ethnic group." Those. an ethnic group living in balance with a landscape and therefore not inclined to development.

It is a Persientate, but Obama was formed from somewhere. Locals consider him a true Kenyman (with the subsequent privatization of tribes), but certainly not an American. Everyone has one undeniable argument: smartly smart and thin bones. So, exactly Masai ... or Kekuya.

And you don't want to in a tambourine for Kekuy?! It is said: Masai!

I said-Russian and African workers are similar in some ways.

As for natural equilibrium, then if you look at it in reality - an extremely vile thing. As, however, “real socialism”, “real eternal engine” and all other theoretical inventions of useful idiots.

Monkey

The most intelligent and arrogant in the savannah are of course humanoid. In the houses of the Masai Mara park there is a warning: do not leave the windows and doors open - they will come and rob.

We, the proud post -Soviet people, of course, did not believe. Who - us?! Who is the monkeys?! After we survived them all, from the Bolsheviks to the National Bolsheviks?! In general, they relaxed, like the last muzungs, the door is wide open, a bunch of bananas on the table. They did not have time to look around - expropriation.

It is not for nothing that the delicate-sensual Alexander Blok warned: “Lock the etezh, now there will be robberies!”

The great and mighty Martyn, the leader of the Martyshka, committing a round of tourist dwellings to him, saw bananas and calculated everything for sure. While the muzungs were lying in the nests, decisively entered the house and took everything that rightfully belongs to the people. He himself gobbled up how much he could and treated his women. Well, not an eagle?

Eagle. And he knows this very well. And so that the visitors later knew, the leader sat down a meter from the door and began to show the eggs defiantly. God, what kind of eggs of the leader Martyn! You, at least crack, will never be like that. Bright blue, like the sky above the savannah. No, even the sky fades in front of them ... Like the bottomless eyes of the singer Valeria's beloved people !! The cooler the status of the dominant male, the brighter the reflection. There are special studies on the reaction of the hormonal background to the movement of the animal in the social hierarchy. Also a kind of mystery of nature is a doping of power.

Now enter the position of the Chekists. What the status of wow, and it is sometimes embarrassed to show. I had to come up with blue stripes, skirts and other palliates. "... And you, the uniforms are blue, and you, their devoted people ..."

In short, we are not offended by the Martyshkin leader. Just think, bananas. I could have removed the passport. They say there were precedents. Then download after him on the branches with a ransom.

Lions

Rangers by the radio reported: on the right bank, Leo killed a buffalo. And we went to the right bank. By that time, he had already opened the buffalo with the abdominal cavity, cherished the most tasty and majestically rested in an embrace with carcasses. In the edification of Pride - to know their place and wait in line.

By the end of the migration season, Lions are completely satisfied with life. The next morning, we were lucky to meet two families who agreed to teach young animals. Maybe these were the same lions, or maybe others. Usually in the family dad, two or three mothers and an indefinite number of children and adolescents. And here are two lions, 6-7 lionesses and a dozen teenagers. The comrades, glancing, cowardly a few hundred meters from each other. Everyone is, as it were, in itself, but at the same time without losing the characteristic of the sight. The fathers kept along the edges, away from each other - in order to avoid. The company combed the savannah in walking mode, stretching for a kilometer and a half along the front and hundreds of meters in the depths. Not that they hunted, but for order. Young people slammed the long -tailed mongoose that turned up for trouble and played them in the folk lion game “Scare and take it away”.

The rules are simple. The driver wears mongoose in the mouth, the rest jumping, goring and pushing. But no one is breaking through by force. Otherwise, five seconds later from the carcass would not have left the shirts. The driver is entitled to dodge, wave his paws, hide the head with prey, but if someone still managed to cling, give it and do not sin.

One of the lionesses between the case was embroidered on a sleeping antelope under a bush. The situation, diametrically opposite to the hunting: usually a predator hides in the bushes, waiting for the victim to approach the distance of a good jerk. So Colonel Kvachkov, squinting and twitching his tail, monitors the movements of the well -fed Chubais. Purely Leo! Although others see in him the Shanghai Bars, whom the patriotic Ellochka personally painted with green.

Lviv, unlike the colonel, is amazing talent to dissolve in the landscape. That's just seven of them close to the car. And suddenly - five. After another second, four. It seems that there is nowhere to hide, grass and rare bushes. But it is worth a lion to lie down, and it becomes flat, like a bag of bones. There is no him and that's it! And suddenly - again seven around. Or even ten.

An unpleasant, I must say, property, if you imagine yourself on a walk.

But in our case, on the contrary, a grass beast was in a bed. He was the first to smell. And, smiling, from a low start, he soared under the heaven and instantly broke away about 60-70 meters. And suddenly froze. Either he realized that in a flash could run into one of the lagging members of the Pride. Either it considered it necessary to observe the dignity.

The lioness (ears with an ax) appreciated the distance without resentment and disappointments: no, she does not shine. Остальные обернулись на секунду и тут же забыли — не охота, а баловство. Антилопа со своей стороны тоже прекрасно чувствовала расстояние и понимала, что раунд за ней. Не выпуская из вида львов, нахально пощипала травку и прогулочным шагом удалилась. Средний палец не показала только в силу беспросветной парнокопытности.

Прайд на минутку отвлекся, глазея на жирафа, который вертикальной черточкой обозначился на горизонте с другой стороны (эх, далеко, опять не светит!) и вернулся к своим играм. Лениво перепасовываясь мангустом, будто бразильская сборная на разминке, львы трусцой удалились в сторону восходящего солнца.

Было начало восьмого. Саванна — как написал бы иной певец земли африканской — чутко пробуждалась, готовясь к вековечным своим трудам. Высоко в небе звенел жаворонок. Мы развернулись к отелю, чтобы успеть на завтрак.

Dissidents

Вообще-то одинокая антилопа — объяснил нам рейнджер и драйвер из «Русалки Лтд.» Питер — явление в принципе неправильное, хотя и нередкое.

Стадному животному без стада не выжить. Ни поспать, ни поесть в безопасности. Копытный кустарь-одиночка — первый кандидат на внеочередное поедание. Обычно в такой позиции оказываются самцы-субдоминанты, у которых хватило духу бросить выбор главному, но не хватило сил его одолеть. Мог бы бегать в табуне, как все – если бы не показал амбиций. Но уж коль показал, будь любезен — делом подтвердить обоснованность. Иначе – позор и изгнание.

Бывает и по-другому. Смелые мальчик с девочкой решают начать самостоятельную жизнь и откалываются от коллектива. Если повезет, то в заботе друг о друге, отдыхая по очереди, они смогут положить начало новому стаду. Но чаще, конечно, не везет. Если погиб один из пары, едва ли выживет и второй. Вдовицу еще могут пожалеть и принять назад в общину, но осиротевшего джентльмена – ни за что.

Без страстных амбиций и связанных с ним трагедий в стаде не было бы кадрового обновления. С популяционной точки зрения гордый отщепенец рискует собой во имя коллективного будущего. Но, конечно, никто из смиренных собратьев не скажет ему спасибо. Наоборот: общественность дружно осудит за нескромность в быту. Жил бы, как живется…

Независимое существование редко длится более 2-3 недель. Раньше или позже хищники выследят и сожрут угрюмого и томного Чайльд-Гарольда. Обстоятельно, по-хозяйски. Примерно, как они охотятся на человека.

Музунги-гуманисты, насмотревшись по телевизору Animal planet или восхитившись львиными нежностями из джипа, порой решаются на самостоятельные (и, строго говоря, запрещенные) вылазки в саванну. Черный ящик национального парка их благополучно переваривает. До недавнего времени он выдавал на выходе 15-20 покойников в год. Пока рейнджеры не перекрыли все доступные въезды – не столько из соображений безопасности, сколько из коммерческих: пребывание в парке само по себе стоит 40 у.е. с человека за ночь. Регистрируясь и платя, ты в некотором смысле можешь надеяться на поддержку. Не регистрируясь и не платя, нарушаешь правила и вступаешь в серую зону, где «закон-тайга». Не следует так поступать – отечески наставляет нас Питер.

Да мы и не собирались.

Заблудившегося человека – осторожно завершает он свою педагогическую мысль – львы редко едят сразу. Сначала издали пасут по жаре пару-тройку дней, мягко оттесняя от водопоя и оценивая потенциальную опасность (может, у него есть из чего стрелять?) И только когда понимают, что он изнурен и сломлен, подходят вплотную: извини, брат, чисто бизнес. Nothing personal.

Потом рейнджеры находят в саванне ботинки, гаджеты и составляют протокол.

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[i] Была Троя, были и Троянцы
To be continued...

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