Translated material
Psychologists called the right way to argue with a partner
Psychologists consider disputes among partners a normal way of communication, but it is worth preparing to be prepared so that they remain useful and do not destroy relationships, reports The Guardian.
Experts noted that during the dispute it is very difficult to maintain rationality and calm due to emotions that can make the world in black and white. However, you can prepare for a conversation by ceasing to perceive it as a competition. “This is a skill that we need to practice and study. Unfortunately, many of us did not see the demonstration of his effectiveness in childhood, ”said psychotherapist Stefan Walters.
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Psychologists advised pairs to argue in crowded places, for example, during dinner in the presence of other people. They argue that the situation will help to behave more calmly - this will contribute to an increase in the likelihood of hearing each other.
Also, during the dispute, one should not look into each other's eyes, because, as stated in the text, people tend to perceive this as a threat due to biological characteristics. More productive, psychologists note, can be joint walks or conversations side by side. It is important, according to the clinical psychologist Linda Blair, to consider the dispute as an opportunity to find out new information about what excites the partner.
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“After the dust is a little settled, you may be able to return and curious. What was it really? ”Says Blair. She advised to make sure that during the dispute you ask questions, and not try to dominate the partner. Other experts also advised not to accumulate the negativity, but to discuss it immediately, and together to choose time for a difficult conversation.
“People tend to think that the abundance of conflicts is a sign that something is wrong in the relationship, and the lack of conflicts means that everything is in order,” said Joanne Harrison family therapist. He noted that if you avoid discussions of complaints about each other, then they can result in resentment or find another way out, which will create a problem in a relationship.
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