"Pride and shame"

24–28.02.2014

 ** The New Times continues to monitor the fate of a person who has made a deadly diagnosis ***

Life is like a zebra. So I write again from the hospital bed: I picked up some kind of bacterial infection with a beautiful Latin name. Now they are trying to etch it with antibiotics. “You see, you are like a baby now, everything is dangerous for you,” the doctor explains to me. And I understand that the benefits of me are like a baby, and trying to join in some useful process.
Under the next impression of accounts for hospitalization, I communicate with the Russian doctor: “If I were treating in Russia ...” She breaks me: “Then we would not talk to you ... You would have died in intensive care from septic shock.” “No,” I object. “I would have died a couple of months earlier from the lack of anesthesia, when the tumors went in growth.” And even understanding all this, I would like to return home soon!
"ABOUT! Russia! You probably watched the Olympics in Sochi! " - That is how doctors and nurses react now when they find out that I am Russian. And then we are discussing with whom. A dietitologist admires how Adeline Sotnikova performed. The infectious disease doctor says that he now wanted to go to Sochi and ski there. "I would hear this Putin - I would be very happy!" - I'm joking. But the doctor instantly becomes serious: "Well, I would certainly have done it to please such a person."
And I am happy that they do not ask me about Kyiv and the position of Russia on the events in Ukraine ... I want to talk more about the "superbly organized competitions" or about what beautiful skater do you have, how excellent they ride. " I really want to talk about Russia with pride. But I believe that it would be nonpatriotic. It seems to me that patriotism is not a one -sided laudatory ode, but the rafting of two feelings - pride and shame - together. Pride of the Olympic champions and shame for remaining in Russia, I would not see their victories, since I would be dead.
I watch mail, and in it a letter from an oncopsychologist from Moscow: asks to contribute to work, fill out the profiles and go through the interview.
Offers to answer any research questions. “Send, fill everything,” I write in response. “And by research, just say that its results will go for the benefit of people, and I will take your word for you.” I do not want to be useless, I really want to contribute to the increasing pride.

 ** Sberbank of Russia: ** Recipient: Anton Sergeevich Buslov Bank of the Recipient: Sberbank of Russia OJSC, Moscow Bik Bank of the Recipient: [044525225] (http://newtimes.ru/044525225) K/s Bank of the recipient in the RCC: 301010400000025 Personal account number: personal account number: 40817810838061002884 Purpose of payment: voluntary donation for treatment

Ensure the Maestro card number (through any terminal or ATM, in any branch, or through web-banking): 639002389008622102 TIN for payment (if required): 366211268318 PayPal: [email Protected]
Yandex.Money: 41001231218106
QIWI: 9032676810
Webmoney (rubles): R326748372213
WebMoney (dollars): Z147922076632 Alfa-Bank: Recipient: Anton Sergeyevich Busel Bank of the Recipient: OJSC Alfa-Bank, Moscow Bik Bank Bank of the Recipient: 04452593 K/s Recipient Bank in the RCC: 301018102000000593 Personal account number: 40817810004430009952 Purpose of payment: voluntary donation for treatment
You can enroll in the account in the ATM of Alfa-Bank, not being a client of the bank, by personal account number. Loaning card number: 5486 7367 7960 7622 TIN for payment (if required): 366211268318
Beneficiary Bank: Alfa-Bank, Moscow, Russia Swift: Alfarumm Beneficiary: Mr. Buslov Anton Sergeevich Account Number: 40817840904430001431 Correspontent Bank of Beneficiary Bank: Wells Fargo Bank Na / SWIF: PNBPUS3NNYC / ACC. With Corr. Bank: 2000193651652