Basil on the windowsill

24–28.03.2014 The New Times continues to monitor the fate of the person who has been diagnosed with a deadly diagnosis*

Some kind of uncertainty is felt. I would like to believe that everything will be fine, you know it with your mind, but still restless. And no, this is not cancer. This is just because there is no more cancer. Anxious for the country, for the future that could be and which becomes further.
But such confusion is already familiar to me - in the same way a person is exhausted by a serious illness. The disease paralyzes with its treachery, it gives rise to uncertainty, and hysteria grows from it. In a serious illness, a person begins to cling to stability. He is afraid of deterioration and therefore reflexively begins to fight back from the outside world. “If only it wasn’t worse,” becomes a dominant.
My own difficult experience taught me how to cope with such situations. The recipe is both banal at once and pathos, but I vouch for him.
You just need to actively love life. Not abstractly, not in theory, but every day and necessarily business.
I returned from the hospital and, as soon as I could reach the store on foot, bought myself seeds and pots for the garden on the windowsill. After transplantation with all living creatures, it is necessary to treat it carefully, but the doctors did not forbid, on the contrary, they gave advice on how to do better. Now every day I can watch how new leaves reach for the sun. I can’t plant a tree yet, but I will grow at least a bush of basil with my own hands.
In general, now I have a lot of things. Firstly, I must be present at all meetings with the financiers of the hospital. They have difficulty: I have experience in coordinating financial documents in Roscosmos. Secondly, I have tons of correspondence and consulting for various projects in the field of transport. And, God forbid, the new specific results will rise very soon in Omsk. Thirdly, I have dozens of letters from patients with oncology and their relatives who need a consultation. It turned out that even such unprofessional consultation in some cases can save time and money.
And my basil on the window in the pot, and these projects, letters and consultations are the same thing. This is a do-it-yourself life, a little bit, without heroism. This is a fundamental rejection of stability in favor of development. It seems to me that this is exactly what - the rejection of the swamp of imaginary stability and the requirement of urgent development - must now be put on the agenda in Russia.

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